Akane The Vampire Slayer
by Chibi-Dave
Summary: A Buffy / Ranma 1/2 x-over. Ill-advised? You tell us!
1. Default Chapter Title

AKANE THE VAMPIRE SLAYER/KYUUKETSUKI SATSUJINSHA NO AKANE A Ranma 1/2-Buffy The Vampire Slayer Crossover By: The Leaping Gnome 

Disclaimer: The Ranma 1/2 and Buffy Characters are copyright their respective owners and are used here without permission but with great admiration. 

Note: Events in this story take place after the third season finale of Buffy, but before the beginning of season four. 

IN EVERY GENERATION, THERE IS A CHOSEN ONE... 

Buffy sighed, twirled Mr. Pointy, her good-luck stake. The misty graveyard got pretty cold at night, even at the end of June, making her shoulder-length blonde hair cling to the back of her neck. Absent-mindedly brushing her bangs back over her ears, she sighed. She'd been nearing the end of her nightly patrol, and had stopped to make one last pass through Sunnydale Memorial Cemetery, her favorite spot. The spot where she and Angel used to meet every night for a little necking. She smiled sadly to herself. When your ex was a vampire, "Necking" could take on a whole new meaning if you weren't careful... She'd been so lonely since he'd left, and all her other friends were leaving, too. Willow was going next week to a cram-camp in preparation for college in September, Oz's band was going on tour, Xander was leaving to go on his "Quasi-Kerouac" cross-country trip. Even Cordelia was gone. She'd left for L.A. yesterday, leaving Buffy alone to make what she could of summer. Sunnydale was pretty boring in the summertime. Nothing much seemed to happen, aside from the nightly vampire attacks that is. Giles had taken a hands-off approach ever since they'd foiled the Mayor's Ascension, leaving Buffy to patrol by herself. "Bored now... bored bored bo-red..." 

Behind her, she heard the now-familiar tearing sound of a vampire digging his way out of the earth. Buffy smiled, letting the undead creature creep up until she felt it directly behind her. 

"Finally! I thought you'd never wake up, sleepy!" 

The vampire growled in surprise as Buffy spun sideways, sweeping her leg out and connecting with the nascent vampire's ankles, sending him sprawling to the ground. He spat the dirt angrily from his fanged mouth, finding his feet a little unsteadily. Buffy, intent on her target, didn't hear the second vampire rising up behind her. A swift lunge forward with the stake impaled the first vampire, rapid disintegration setting in the instant the wooden shaft withdrew. The second, unseen vampire leapt at Buffy's exposed back. 

"Look out!!!" 

Buffy whirled in time to see the second vampire slammed to the ground by a powerful flying side-kick delivered by a short-haired Asian girl wearing an off-white karate gi. With a blur of motion, the girl slapped a strip of paper inscribed with oriental writing onto the vampire's forehead. With a scream of pain, the vampire convulsed, and exploded into dust. Dusting herself off, the Asian girl turned to face Buffy, gave her a small smile and a quick bow. 

"You should go home, miss." The girl said in heavily accented, halting english. "Is not too safe in such places, yes?" 

"Uh... yeah... who *are* you, anyway?" 

"Veddy... ahem, *very* sorry. I am Tendou Akane, Kyuuketsuki Slayer. Forgive please, I must go now..." 

Akane ran off into the night, leaving a stunned Buffy in her wake. 

"Slayer...?" 

* * * 

"Giles! Wake up, Giles! I know you're in there! Put some clothes on and get your British fanny out here!" Buffy hammered on the door of Giles' apartment with a closed fist. She stopped when she heard the sound of the lock being turned. The door opened, and a very flustered and fully dressed Rupert Giles appeared in the doorway. 

"Buffy, I have guests, try to be a little more, er, restrained in your choice of words, if you please." 

"Oops. Sorry, Giles.." She whispered, abashed. "But I need to talk to you. I just saw the weirdest thing at the graveyard!" 

"Well, come in then. Do try to keep your voice down, please. I have neighbors, you know. 

Buffy made a face, and walked in. There were two Asian girls and an young, bespectacled asian man sitting in the living room. 

"Hey! That's her, Giles! You know her?" The man and Akane stood, dragging her sulky looking red-haired, pigtailed companion to her feet as well. [A red-haired Asian girl? Gotta be a dye-job], Buffy thought to herself, her fashion instinct in full gear. 

"You've met? Yes, I see you have...er, this is Doctor Tofu, a fellow Watcher from Japan, and his charge, Miss Akane Tendou. The red-haired young lady is Ranma Saotome, Akane's er, iinazuke... did I say that right?" All three Japanese nodded. 

"What's an in-suzuki?" Buffy asked, puzzled. 

"I believe it means 'fiancee', or 'intended' Buffy, but my Japanese is not what it once was." 

"Fiancee? [Wow. I'd always thought Japan was really conservative...] Well, that's peachy, but what are they doing here? Wait! Don't tell me. She's here to replace Faith, right?" 

"Exactly. When Faith, er... died, last month, Akane was activated as a Slayer. The Watchers Council arranged for her to spend the summer here, so that you could take her under your wing. Unfortunately, they neglected to inform *me*, so I haven't made arrangements for their lodgings yet. 

"Well, gee Giles, gimme a sec, I'll call Mom. Maybe we can put them up at our house." 

Akane and Ranma were talking to each other in rapid Japanese. Ranma kept shaking her head, until Akane yelled something at her that sounded to Buffy like "Back-a". Ranma scowled and pouted. Akane sighed, and turned to Buffy. 

"Tenk you very much for your offer, Buffy-san. We would be pleased to accept, if your mother agrees." 

"What about Doctor Veggy-burger? Is he okay here Giles, or am I putting him up too?" 

"I will be staying here with Giles-san until I have secured a flat of my own. Do not trouble yourself over me." Tofu answered in excellent, if a little formal, English. "I must say, it is a pleasure to meet the famed Buffy-sama at last." He bowed deeply to her. 

"Gee, uh, thanks!" She bowed back awkwardly. "You're a lot nicer than some other Watchers I've met... err, present company excluded..." she finished, apologetically, to Giles. Akane tittered. Ranma merely looked confused. 

* * * 

Buffy's mom had been surprisingly pleasant about having the two Japanese girls as guests, once she got over her annoyance at having the idea sprung on her after midnight on a work-night. Buffy cheerily walked the two girls home. 

"So, uh, Akane... How are you finding Slayerhood?" Akane smiled quietly. 

"It is... not too bad so far, Buffy. I was already a trained martial artist before Dr. Tofu awakened my powers, so it was not a too great shock. I enjoy destroying Kyuuketsuki, Oni and Youma, it is a good purpose. It *has* been hard on Ranma, I'm afraid." 

Ranma, hearing her name mentioned, looked over. [She really is quite pretty,] Buffy thought. [It's no wonder Akane's attracted to her. Too bad she's such a grouch.] 

"How do you mean, hard on her?" 

"Before my powers were awakened, Ranma was very proud of having superior skill at the martial arts. Since I assumed my duties, we are much more evenly matched. She cannot beat me with any er... regularity? Yes." 

"Oh. Little jealous?" 

"Very jealous." Buffy smiled over at Ranma, who was balancing, arms out, along the curb as she walked. 

"Do you speak English?" 

"Iie... no veddy much.. Paying no attention in class I am... was." Ranma said, in her thick accent. 

"So, uhh... You two are engaged? In-suzukis, right?" 

"Iinazuke. Ee-nazu-kay. By parents choice, not ours..." Ranma glared over at Akane, who glared right back. 

"Wow. Lesbian arranged marriages. Japan really *is* different... well, here we are!" 

They arrived at the Summers home. The lights were on, so Buffy went in the front door instead of climbing back in through the window like she normally would. Joyce Summers met them at the door. 

"Hello, girls!" Joyce said, a little loudly and slower than her usual speaking voice. "I'm Buffy's mother, Joyce. It's very nice to meet you." 

[Geez, Mom! They're Japanese, not deaf.] 

"It is very nice to meet you, Summers-san. I am Akane Tendou, and this is Ranma Saotome. We are very honored to be your guests." Akane bowed. Ranma, after a quick cuff from Akane, followed suit. 

"Oh, no, please... no need to bow on my account, come in! Come in! Oh, Ranma, I love your clothes! Those are Chinese, aren't they?" Ranma smiled awkwardly, cast a questioning glance over at Akane. Akane sighed, and translated. Nodding in comprehension, she responded in halting English. 

"Hai..Yes, I tavel in China veddy moch. Arigatou... Senk you." 

"Your English is very good, Ranma! A lot better than my Japanese is, anyway." Joyce smiled at her pleased houseguest. "Akane, Ranma, it's very late, so I'm going back to bed, but Buffy can show you to the guest room, okay?" Akane nodded. "I hope you don't mind sharing the bed, at least for tonight." Akane blushed, looked over at Ranma, and translated. Ranma also looked a little flushed. Joyce didn't notice, but Buffy saw the look that passed between them. [Hmm. I thought they'd look forward to that, what with being... Ahh, whatever. Not my business.] Joyce headed back up the stairs. 

"Goodnight, girls... Buffy?" 

"Yeah, Mom?" 

"I'll talk to *you* tomorrow, young lady." 

"Uh oh...." 

* * * 

The first thing Buffy did after seeing the girls to their room was to grab the phone and punch in Willow's number into the mobile receiver. 

[Please don't be on the internet, please don't be on the internet...] The phone only rang once before Willow picked it up. 

"Hello?" 

"Hey, Wil!" 

"Buffy! Hi! What's up? Sorry I couldn't come out on patrol with you tonight. Oz and the band were playing at the Bronze, so..." 

"No probs, girl! Gotta spend all the time you can with him before the tour, right? Listen... Guess who just showed up?!" 

"Angel? He came back?! Oh, that's so great! I can't believe how really great that is.... Oh, no... you're not saying anything and that means I'm wrong and now you're gonna get really upset! Please don't get upset...." 

"Uh, no, Willow, and thanks ever so for bringing up that name." 

"Oh, Buffy, I'm sorry! I'm so stupid! Bad Willow! Bad!" 

"You're forgiven, Wil. Try again, and this time, no ex boyfriends." 

"Oh. Gee. Well, my next guess was gonna be that Pike guy you told us about, but, hmm... Okay, good someone or bad someone?" 

"Definitely not bad... but I dunno about all the way good..." 

"I give up! C'mon, Buffy, spill!" 

"The new Substitute Slayer." 

"Oh, wow! I hope she's nicer than You-know-who..." 

"No argument there. She seems really nice, but she's still learning English, so I haven't been able to pump her for much info. She's from Japan, and engaged, and she brought her fiancee with her. That much I know." 

"From Japan? Cool! Can't wait to meet her! Did you know I can speak Japanese?" 

"No way!" 

"Uh-huh... You know how my parents send me to computer camp and summer school and things like that every summer? Well, the year before you came to Sunnydale I met this really nice Japanese girl at cram-camp and she taught me the language over the summer. I never learned to read it, but I can understand it and speak it pretty well! Did you say she's engaged? I thought you Slayer types weren't encouraged to hook up like that..." 

"Well, it's my understanding that it's an arranged marriage, that her folks set it up before she became a Slayer... But that isn't the strangest part. Her fiancee's a girl, can you believe it?" 

"Wow... Kim told me that same-sex couples were tolerated in Japan, at least more than they are here, but I had no idea that they could get married! Better not tell Xander..." 

"What d'you mean?" 

"Lesbians and Xander are a dangerous mix..." 

"Don't tell me Xander's prejudiced!" 

"No... let's just say that he's a big lesbian fan. Go-o-o-o Lesbians!" 

"Hmm. Well, he'd better not act like a creep around them. Akane and Ranma are nice..." 

"Ranma? That's a boy's name, I think..." 

"Huh. Well, maybe she's the butch, I don't know... Anyway, you wanna talk to 'em? They're staying across the hall in the spare room..." 

"I dunno, Buffy, what if they're, y'know... busy?" 

"Tsk. Let me check..." 

"Buffy!" 

"I'm just gonna listen at the door for a sec. If I hear anything too happy, I won't disturb them." 

"All right..." 

"Nope, they're just talking. I'll go on in." 

* * * 

A few minutes earlier, after they had unpacked their things, Akane and Ranma stared shyly across the bed at one another. 

"< Boy, these Americans are pretty liberal, huh?>" Ranma said in Japanese. 

"" 

"" 

"" 

"" 

"" 

"" 

"" 

" She emptied the hot water bottle over her head. "" 

* * * 

Buffy knocked once on Ranma and Akane's room door and walked in. 

"Hey guys, a friend of mine'd love to speak..." She stopped dead in her tracks as her eyes came to rest on the shirtless, dripping wet, dark-haired boy sitting on the floor. Her hand slackened and she dropped the phone to the floor. Willow's voice from the earpiece echoed around the room. 

"Buffy? What's the matter? Buffy? Hang on, Buffy, I'll be right there!" 

"Who.. what... is *he* doing here? Who *is* that?! Where's Ranma?" 

The dark haired boy looked panicked. He backed away, babbling in Japanese. 

"Gomen, gomen, Buffy-san! Bore-wa Saotome Ranma desu..!" 

Akane's eyes rolled heavenward. 

"Ranma! Eigo hanashite bakayo!" 

She turned to Buffy, an apologetic look on her face as she continued in English. 

"Buffy-san, he *is* Ranma. This very long story..." 

* * * 

Willow ran out her front door, Slayerette backpack over one shoulder. As she raced to save her best friend from what was no doubt another Hellmouth-fueled demon or killer zombie or shape-changing vegetable, she mentally ran over the contents of her pack. 

[Stakes? Check. Cross? Check. Holy Water? Check. Spellbook? Check. Crossbow? Check. Okay, Willow, you're all set to kick some booty... in a spiritual sense, of course... ] 

Huffing and puffing, she sprinted up Buffy's block and rounded the turn into the back yard. The spare key was still where Buffy had told her it was. As quietly as she knew how, Willow opened the door and snuck into the kitchen. She listened hard. No screams, no punches being thrown... [I hope I'm not too late!] She crept up the stairs, cross in one hand, holy water vial in the other. She winced and froze as a stair creaked underfoot, but nothing came out of the darkness to grab her. Whew. So far so good, Willow... maybe now would be a good time to go home and call in reinforcements... 

She reached the top of the stairs and saw Buffy's door was open, her room empty. Steeling herself, she pushed the door of the guest room open, cross in front of her. 

"Okay, vampire! Freeze!" She peeked one eye open, took in the scene. 

Buffy was sitting on the bed with the Japanese girl, and a strange wet Japanese boy was plunked down on the floor. All three wore bemused expressions. 

"Willow...?" 

"Buffy...? What's going on?! I thought you were in trouble..." 

"Willow, this is Akane Tendou, and her fiancee Ranma Saotome. I think..." 

* * * 

"" Willow's Japanese had come back fast. 

"" Ranma replied, shrugging. 

"What's he saying, Wil?" 

"Hold on Buffy, this is neat.

"_" _

"" 

"" 

"" 

Buffy glanced uncomprehendingly back and forth between Akane and Willow, looking for all the world like a spectator at a tennis match as the rapid-fire Japanese continued. 

"Will somebody *please* speak English so I know what's going on?" 

"Oh, sorry, Buffy... Just a second. I think I have a spell here for languages, just let me dig it out..." 

"That's my little Sabrina!" 

Willow pulled out her spellbook and scanned the pages. 

"A-ha! Now, if only I brought some newt's toes... Here!" She mumbled a few words in a strange, burbling language, and the cellophane packet of newt's toes dissipated into a puff of smoke. 

"How's that, everybody?" 

"H-hey! I can understand you!" Ranma said in perfect English. 

"And I can understand you, Ranma!" Buffy exclaimed. "Good stuff, Wil! You really *are* getting good at this..." 

"It's a gift..." Willow answered, smiling proudly. 

"So... What exactly is the story here, people? What's up with the gender-bending?" 

"Hey, I'd love to hear it again... don't mind me..." Willow cheerfully piped. 

Akane smiled, relief evident in her features. 

"It's a little complicated, so bear with me, okay? Ranma and his father were on a decade-long training journey in China. Two years ago, they ended up in a place called Jusenkyo, which means 'Training Ground of Cursed Springs'. There's over a hundred springs there, and each one carries a terrible curse that befalls anyone who happens to fall into the waters. Of course, Ranma and his dimwit father had no idea exactly what they were getting themselves into, 'cause neither of them can understand a word of Chinese..." 

"Hold on a minute... you mean they went to China for ten years and they didn't even bother to learn the lingo? Talk about mondo stupidity..." 

"Yeah, well..." Ranma interjected in a surly tone. "Nobody's ever accused my Pop of bein' a rocket scientist or nothin'..." 

"Do *you* want to tell the story, Ranma, or shall I?" Ranma grunted non-comittally. "Fine. then keep it zipped." Akane turned back to Buffy. 

"So, anyway, there they are in Jusenkyo, and their local guide is trying to warn them, but being the pig-headed idiots they are, they don't listen. Sure enough, within ten seconds, Ranma's father falls into the Spring of Drowned Panda, and he pops back out again as a giant Panda, if you can believe it..." "Spring of Drowned Panda?! So... the victim of the curse turns into whatever critter drowned there in the first place?" 

"Right in one, Buffy. Except this particular panda is also a master of the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts, so next thing you know, Ranma here's taking a dip too." 

"Lemme guess. Spring of Drowned Girl, right?" 

"You catch on quick..." 

"So, uh... how come he changed back? Did the curse just wear off or something?" 

"Huh. I *wish*." Ranma interrupted. "The way the curse works is that everytime I get hit with cold water, I turn into a girl. Hot water changes me back, but only until the next time..." 

"Huh. Geez, you'd make a mint in showbiz, Ranma. Didja ever consider the movies?" 

"No thanks. S'bad enough I change, but as far as i'm concerned, the fewer people know about this, the better. It's embarrassing!" 

"It's not so bad... At least you make a cute girl..." 

"That's the worst part! I don't know how American high school guys are, but Japanese ones are animals! There's this one jerk, Kunou, tries to jump my bones every time he sees me in girl-form. I've been sexually harrassed, fondled, groped and molested, not to mention becoming the favorite victim of a dirty old panty-stealing man... I've even had nude pictures of me sold to half the school! Believe me, It's a relief to get out of that nuthouse... Even if it's only for the summer." 

"What about you, Akane? Do you have to worry about cold water too?" 

"No, thank heavens. The only things I have to worry about are vampires and assorted denizens of the underworld." 

Buffy, Akane and Willow shared are giggle. 

"So, how'd you guys end up engaged? No offense, but... you seem a little young... not to mention the fact that you haven't stopped arguing since I met you..." 

"Long story made short, it was our fathers' idea. They used to train under the same Sensei, so when they had kids, they decided to combine our Schools and marry us off. Nobody asked us, of course, but..." She shrugged. "We've kinda gotten used to the idea by now, but that doesn't mean we like it." 

"That really sucks, guys! Did you guys have, like, sweeties of your own before this mess?" 

"Ranma did." 

"I did not!!!" 

"What do you call Ukyou, then?!" 

"That was Pop's idea... *again*..." 

"Didn't see *you* complaining..." 

Ranma stuck out his tongue, and gave evidence that the raspberry is truly international. Akane ignored him, continuing her story. 

"I don't really care all that much for guys my own age... they're all pretty dopey, present company included..." She smirked. "But Ranma here's quite a casanova! At last count, he had three, er... two other fiancees besides me!" 

"Ranma!" Buffy and Willow looked scandalized. 

"Hey, it's not my fault! My dad has a habit of selling me to pay off bad debts. It's not as if I actually go after these girls, it's just a new one seems to show up roughly every six months, that's all." 

"Your dad sounds like a total weenie..." Willow commented. 

"Definitely." 

"I think your dad and my dad should get together and go bowling..." Buffy murmured. 

Willow sat up straight as an idea hit her between the eyes. 

"Hey, you guys! I bet I might be able to help you out! I picked up a book yesterday at the occult shop all about water spells... maybe it has a chapter on cursed springs!" 

"I don't know, Willow..." Akane cautioned. "Dr. Tofu's done some pretty intense research on the subject... I don't think there *is* a permanent cure for Jusenkyo's curse." 

"Not so fast, Akane!" Ranma interjected. "If Willow finds something, i'm willing to try it..." 

"Kewl!" Willow chirped. "I'll get right on it first thing tomorrow... Hey, Ranma! If Buffy and Akane are patrolling tomorrow night, d'you maybe wanna come with me and Xander to see my boyfriend's band play at The Bronze? They're really good..." 

"Uh, sure, I guess... If you don't mind, I think i'll go as a girl. I've had my fill of jealous boyfriends..." 

"Oh! Oz isn't like that at all, Ranma! Although, he *can* be kinda territorial sometimes... I think it's a wolf-thing. Be careful around Xander, though. He's nice, but he's a little bit of a goofball, and he's got a thing for women who could beat him up..." 

"Terrific... Just what I need, another Kunou..." 

Buffy stood, stretched her arms over her head. 

"Well, Akane, Ranma... I guess you two are probably tired or jet-lagged or something. I'll walk Willow home, so you guys can turn in... Ranma, I think it'd be a good idea if you stayed as a girl in the house. I think my mom would totally wig out if she found out about your curse. 

"No problem. I'm used to it..." 

Willow gathered up her things, humming happily. 

"Bye, guys! I'll see you tomorrow... Oh, and that language spell's gonna last until the next full moon which is in..." She ticked it off on her fingertips. "Fifteen days. So you should be able to speak and understand English until then, okay?" The two Japanese nodded, understanding. 

"Bye, Willow! It was very nice to meet you!" Akane said 

"Yeah, Willow! Let me know about that spell, okay?" Ranma added. 

"Mmm-hmm!" Willow bopped on out, humming a happy tune. 

The two American girls left, closing the door quietly behind them. Akane turned to Ranma, speaking in Japanese. 

"" 

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* * * 

Paulie'd seen a lot of players come and go over the past three years. Sunnydale's vampire underworld seemed to have a sort of revolving door leadership since The Slayer moved to town. First the Master bit the dust, then Spike and his psychotic squeeze Dru had breezed through town. Angelus, Mr. Twitch, and finally, the Mayor. All dead or defeated at the hands of the Slayer... Paulie had stayed alive (or undead, if you prefer,) by keeping his head down and preying solely on the blood of winos and derelicts, people nobody missed when they disappeared. Other vamps, who preferred young, healthy victims laughed at him, but where were they now? Slain, that's where. Paulie figured he'd be hanging around the Hellmouth long after the whole damn town dried up and blew away. 

He'd been toying with the idea of bucking for leadership of the city's anarchic vampire population since the Mayor bought the big one last week. He'd made a few discreet inquiries, called up a few favors... he might have a shot... At a hundred and twenty-seven years, there weren't too many vampires left in Sunnydale older than he was, and those that were tended to stay out of sight. 

He'd gathered together what few vamps he remembered from the old days, when The Master was nominally in charge. Most of the newer bloods were either dead or running with that bitch up at the university, so it was a pretty old crowd tonight. Only one vampire younger than fifty years was present. That's not to say the group looked old, by any means. An innocent passerby would probably think they were a group of about twenty young toughs out looking for trouble. They met down at the waterfront, where the fog and the canal provided plenty of escape routes should The Slayer pay a visit... 

"Awright, youse mooks! Listen up!" Paulie yelled. The motley collection of vampires, zombies and assorted demons stopped talking and turned to face the burly ex-longshoreman standing on top of the wooden crates. Paulie had been a merchant marine before his change, and he still carried the bulk around with him. "Mosta youse guys know me, or hearda me. I'm Big Paulie, I work the mission district and the soup kitchens..." A few nodded, others snorted scornfully. 

"Yeah, yeah... Well, I'm here to ask youse guys if ya wants me as yer boss. Now hold on! I ain't all flash 'n trash like Spike or Angelus, but I ain't never brought The Slayer down on my buddies, neither. Think about it..." A murmur of agreement passed through the crowd. Big Paulie had a rep as a stand-up guy, for a vampire... Charlie Finster, a Chaos demon from the fifteenth host of the Abyss, raised his hand. 

"Ya gotta question, Charlie?" 

"Yeah, Paulie... Whatcha gonna do 'bout the second Slayer?" 

"Second Slayer? The Mayor's little chippie? Ain't she dead? Or in a coma or somethin'?" 

"Naw, not her. The new one!" 

"Yeesh! Dese broads are like roaches! They just keep comin'... Okay, listen... Here's da deal... we keep outta sight, only prey on the rummies and hopheads, and they'll never notice us..." 

"Aw, c'mon, Paulie! I gotta bizness ta run! I need the young stuff..." 

"Well, geez, Charlie! If you'd stuck to the old farts and bums like I does, ya would'nta hadda deal with that police raid that put youse in dutch wit da Mayor last year, wouldja?" 

"Fuggedit, Paulie. I can't eat the old ones! They're too stringy!" 

"Ahh, whatever, Charlie. Anybody else got a question?" A blond haired Zombie raised a rotting hand, dropping clods of dirt and meat on his neighbor's head. 

"Yeah.. Hey, Paulie, I still wanna know what you're gonna do about the new Slayer!" 

"I already answered that... Anybody got any *other* questions?" 

"Naw, screw that, Paulie! Nobody's gonna listen to you unless you can do something about the Slayers! If you ain't got no ideas, than i'm goin' back to my crypt to watch the game!" 

"Hey, c'mon Joey! Gimme a sec-" The crowd was dispersing, shuffling, walking or oozing off. 

"Is this a closed meeting, or may anyone speak?" An accented, masculine voice echoed through the fog.. 

They crowd stopped, looked around... who had said that? 

Two figures stepped out of the fog, standing atop the prow of the tanker moored at the end of the pier. The male was tall, at least six feet, with long straight black hair swirling around his shoulders. Moonlight glinted off the round sunglasses he wore. His hands were hidden in the wide sleeves of his black silk shirt crossed across his chest. His companion was no less exotic. Much shorter than the man, she wore a matching black silk outfit, gathered at the waist and ankles. She held a pair of spiked maces in her hands, and her shockingly-purple hair was elaborately styled, held in place with silver combs and ornaments. Her oriental eyes flashed with a red vampiric light. Once all eyes were upon him, the man spoke again. 

"I am... *quite* familiar with this new Slayer of which you speak... My companion and I have pursued her here from her home in Japan. Shall I kill her for you?" A murmur of surprise passed through the crowd. Paulie, nervous, decided to take the measure of the strangers. 

"We've heard that line a few times, pally! What makes you think you can take out one Slayer, let alone two?" 

"Heh... Try me, gwailo..." 

Paulie snarled, manifesting his vampiric features. No way was he lettin' some snot-nosed new bloods fresh off the boat take *his* post. He'd waited too damn long! 

With a roar, the burly vampire leapt up to the top of the stack of crates. 

"C'mon, ya dumb chink! I pass scrawny little geeks like you in my stool !!" 

The tall asian man chuckled, and leapt straight up. For a moment, he was silhouetted against the fog-shrouded moon. Throwing his arms out, his wide sleeves billowed open, and a flurry of chitinous...things... shot out, pinning the American vampire to the bulkhead of the tanker. Paulie was stuck like a bug, the metallic, cord-like tendrils of metamorphic flesh pulsing before growing barbs and knife-like edges. He screamed as the blades tore through his undead flesh, causing excruciating pain. The other ends remained attached up the oriental vampire's sleeves, writhing as through each tentacle was independently alive. 

"Hyaargg! D'ya... this'll finish me...punk? You're... dumber'n y'look..." Paulie flexed his corded, screaming muscles hard, ripping away from the bulkhead and falling to the ground. Unsteadily, he rose to his feet, ropy pseudopods still piercing his body. 

"Heh-heh... I am not done yet, round-eye..." He alit gracefully on the ground twenty feet away from his victim. With a ripping jerk, he withdrew the hooked and bladed tendrils back into his sleeves, taking pieces of Paulie with them. Old blood and vampiric ichor fountained, spraying like a fine mist across the gathered spectators, who whooped with glee at the gory display. 

Paulie still stood, barely alive... "Hmm... You *are* sturdy, round-eyed fool." He turned to his female companion, who was still perched on the prow of the barge. 

"My dear? Would you take care of this? I've grown bored..." 

"Yes, my Airen... " 

She leapt with blinding speed off the prow, streaking by Paulie's tattered form. With a lightning-quick stroke of her spiked mace, Paulie's head separated from his neck, flying into the canal as the headless body disintegrated, necrotizing instantly. The crowd gasped in horror and glee. 

The oriental pair embraced, ignoring the cheers and gasps of the assembled monsters for but a moment. 

"Well, now... I repeat... Shall I kill the Slayers for you? Will you then acknowledge us as your masters?" 

The creatures roared their assent. 

"Know then, that I am Mu-tsu. My beloved is Xian-pu. By tomorrow night, we shall be your lords..." 

* * * 

At Giles' apartment, He and Dr. Tofu were setting up the sofa-bed. 

"Well, there you go, Doctor... I'm afraid it's not terribly comfortable, but..." 

"Nonsense, Giles-san. It's more than enough. You're hospitality is more than generous." 

"Not at all, Doctor... Now, if we're done being insufferably polite, perhaps you can tell me the real reason why you and your two charges are here..." 

"W-why, Giles-san... Whatever do you mean? As I said, The Council of Watchers-" 

"Poppycock! The Council would never authorize such a thing! Surely you must be aware that I have been formally excommunicated... I am hardly in any position to be advising a new Watcher of his duties, or training a Slayer. I have watched as two young girls died in that capacity, and seen a third's life turned upside down. I am *quite* tired of my duties, and have been looking forward to a vacation. So I must ask again, sir; Why have you come?" 

"Ah... Well..." The younger man sat on the edge of the bed. He sighed sadly, removed his glasses and massaged the bridge of his nose. "It is a very long story, Giles-san..." 

"I have nothing if not time to spare. Pray enlighten me." 

"Before I was activated as a Watcher, I had a small chiropractic and acupuncture practice in Nerima, a commuter suburb of Tokyo. Ever since she was a very little girl, I have looked after Akane and, more recently, her iinazuke Ranma. It is important for you to know that Ranma is a very honest and honorable person, but i'm afraid... also something of a trouble- magnet. Since returning from a training voyage in China, Ranma has earned a reputation as the greatest fighter in Nerima. There were always challenge matches to fight, grudges to be held, rivals to vanquish. It has been a very difficult two years for the child. For some time, I believed that it was Ranma who was destined to become The Slayer, but... At any rate, it was Ranma who was the first, unwitting cause of the trouble last month." 

"While in China, Ranma defeated a woman named Xian-Pu in ritual combat. Xian-Pu is a member of a tribe of women warriors, The Nyanichiczu. They have many strange customs, foremost of which is the law that any outsider who defeats a tribeswoman in battle must either be killed or must marry the defeated tribeswoman. Although she originally planned on killing Ranma, Xian-Pu soon fell in love, and changed her mind. Intent on marriage, she pursued Ranma to Japan, where she made a constant nuisance of herself with myriad plots and schemes to entrap her 'Airen' into wedlock." 

"Forgive me, Doctor, but I'm afraid I seem to be a little confused..." Giles interrupted. "I was not aware that female homosexuality was so openly accepted in the Orient. Is Ranma's case unusual?" Dr. Tofu smiled. 

"I'm afraid it's not a case of lesbianism at all, Giles-san. You see, Ranma is a boy." 

"I *beg* your pardon?" 

Dr. Tofu took a moment to explain the curse of Jusenkyo to a stunned Giles. 

"I... see... How unfortunate... Perhaps, if the vast majority of the books in my library had not been blown up, I might have been able to find a cure for the poor lad... Well, do go on... You were talking about a Chinese girl..." 

"Quite right, Giles-san... Xian-Pu... A delightful girl, truly. She worked for me as a nurse for a time... while she was not pursuing Ranma, that is. She was, in fact, being pursued herself by a young man of her own village, a rejected suitor named Mu-Tsu. A very dangerous young man..." 

"I'm afraid none of us took Mu-Tsu terribly seriously at first, even though he called himself the Master of Dark Magic. Although we soon learned he was indeed an Adept, the fate that befell him proved that he was no Master..." 

"He attempted to conjure a minor demon to grant him power enough to defeat Xian-Pu so that she would accept his suit as legitimate, but he made a mistake during some part of the incantation. The demon possessed him, and-" 

"Made him a vampire. Oh dear..." Giles mopped his forehead nervously. 

"Yes. With the powers granted him by his vampiric state, as well as his existing skill in the martial arts, he was easily able to defeat Xian-Pu. By her own law, she was his to do with as he pleased. He promptly made her his vampiric consort, and together they went after his only rival, Ranma Saotome." 

"Akane's iinazuke." 

"Exactly. Her powers as a Slayer were activated only shortly before Mu-Tsu and Xian-Pu's attack on her family's Dojo. She and Ranma managed to fight them off, but there were casualties. The Dojo's founder, Happousai, was slain by Xian-Pu after he unwisely attempted to commit a mischief on her person. His death was not greatly mourned. Kuh-Lohn, Xian-Pu's great-grandmother and matriarch of her village, fell to Mu-Tsu in an act of vengeance. We lost a valuable and powerful ally in her. But the greatest tragedy was the loss of Kasumi, the eldest of the three Tendou sisters. She f-fell to Mu-Tsu's fangs... She was so very kind and gentle, she had no chance against him... We were t-too late to save her..." Tears began to run down Tofu's face as the memory washed over him. "I-I loved her, very much... I drove the stake into her heart myself when she arose... I could at least grant her soul rest..." 

"I'm very sorry, Doctor... I lost someone... very close to me to a vampire as well... I can imagine how you must feel. Forgive me, but, how did you three end up defeating the vampires?" 

"To our sorrow, we could not... Akane was too new to her gifts, and Ranma and myself were simply outmatched. It was not until we learned certain esoteric techniques from the Manou family, who are themselves famed Devil Hunters, that we were able to make a significant dent in their plans. To protect what remained of the Tendou and Saotome houses, we fled here to America and Buffy-sama, leaving Akane's surviving sister and Father, and Ranma's own father, under the protection of the Manous until we are ready to defeat the vampires..." 

Giles stood, placing his hands on Tofu's shoulders. He looked the younger man in the eye. 

"Don't you realize that Xian-Pu and Mu-Tsu will follow you? If their hatred for Akane and Ranma is so strong, they'll come here to Sunnydale for certain!" 

"True... We hope, however, that we have some time... time to train under Buffy-sama and yourself... To prepare for their arrival. We believe that they will be reluctant to travel by boat, due to a fear of water, so we think we have some time. But Xian-Pu is an excellent tracker. It will not be long..." 

"They're afraid of water? Is this some characteristic of Oriental vampires?" 

"Merely a phobia, in this case. Mu-Tsu and Xian-Pu were once victims of Jusenkyo curses of their own. I do not know whether or not their transition to an undead state has affected that. They certainly seem in no hurry to test the theory themselves." 

"I see... Well. this *is* quite a predicament Doctor... I'm sure Buffy would be willing to help, but... If these two vampires are this powerful..." He sighed. "Only a week ago we faced a Demon Ascension, and Buffy is still reeling from the fight... I'm not sure that they *can* be defeated, not now..." ************************************ 

END PART ONE 

End Notes: Well, I'd originally planned this as a one shot set in Nerima, but it sort of took on a life of it's own after seeing the Season four premiere. I have no idea how long this 'fic is going to end up being, but I'm having fun with it, so who knows? 

If you'd like to pre-read my stuff, or just have questions, comments, etc.. E-mail me at 


	2. Default Chapter Title

AKANE THE VAMPIRE SLAYER / KYUUKETSUKI SATSUJINSHA NO AKANE EPISODE TWO A Ranma 1/2 / BTVS X-over Fanfic by The Leaping Gnome DISCLAIMER: The Buffy and Ranma 1/2 Characters are copyright Joss Whedon and Rumiko Takahashi respectively and are used here without permission but with great admiration. LAST TIME, ON AKANE THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: There's a new Slayer in Sunnydale, and her name's Akane Tendou, a Japanese martial artist who's been called to replace Faith. Along with her fiancee Ranma Saotome, a young man cursed to transform into a girl when struck by cold water, and her Watcher, Dr. Tofu Ono, she has arrived in Sunnydale to learn at the feet of Buffy Summers, the first Slayer of her generation. Problem is, Akane and Ranma have been followed by some old enemies; oriental vampires whose strange powers and weird abilities may be too much for even two Slayers (plus entourages) to handle . . . 

IN EVERY GENERATION, THERE IS A CHOSEN ONE . . . The bright morning sun rose over Sunnydale, birds chirped, cars started, paperboys missed the front stoops of the houses along their routes. In the kitchen of the Summers home, Buffy and Joyce sat across from each other, nursing coffees. 

"All I'm saying, Buffy, is that you should have shown a little more consideration for *my* schedule. I *told* you the museum was bringing in a shipment of rare Chinese artifacts today. I'm going to be very busy for the next few days, and I won't have time to be a proper host for our guests!" 

"Mo-om! It's not as if I planned this or anything. I was as surprised as you, and so was Giles. If you want, I'm sure we can put them up in a hotel, y'know." 

"Tsk! Don't be ridiculous. Two girls all alone in a strange country . . . " 

"One of them's a Slayer like me, Mom. We're tough stuff." 

"Please don't get me started on that, Buffy. Half the time I don't know what Mr. Giles is thinking, letting you face things like that . . . graduation day still gives me the shivers . . . at any rate, I'm happy to put Akane and Ranma up, but I just wish there was some way you could have given me more notice, that's all." 

"Like I said, Mom, I didn't *have* any more notice to give! Yeeesh!!" 

The sound of loud voices echoing from upstairs forestalled any further argument from Joyce. 

"What are those two *doing* up there?!" Joyce sipped at her coffee pensively. "I hope they're not fighting . . . " Buffy pushed away from the table. 

"I'll go check on 'em, Mom." * * * 

Upstairs, the Summers' two houseguests were bickering in rapid-fire Japanese. Neither of them had slept well last night, the events of the past two weeks weighing heavily on their minds. In no time at all, tempers flared. 

"Akane! Gimme a break, huh? I ain't wearin' that stoopid outfit, okay?" Girl-Ranma held a pretty yellow sundress at arm's length. "Just 'cause I'm a girl right now don't mean I gotta wear *your* dumb clothes..." Akane fumed. 

"Honestly, Ranma! Then don't! Just wear that stupid red top for the third day in a row, then. Stink if you want to! I couldn't care less...." Ranma pulled a face at Akane's back. She snatched up her red top, giving the armpits a quick sniff, Akane wrinkling her nose at the sight. 

"Gaah! Maybe you're right... " She quickly shimmied into the dress, only getting tangled up in the straps once. 

"How does it fit?" Akane asked, having already dressed herself in a pair of cutoff jean shorts and a comfy baggy cotton top. 

"It's too tight in the chest and too baggy in the waist..." Ranma answered, tugging distastefully at the material. 

"Fine! Take it off, then!" Akane advanced on Ranma threateningly, hefting the double bed over her head, the frame brushing the light fixture. 

"Hold on, Akane, c'mon, I..." She stepped closer. "Not in the house! Not in the house!" 

"Ahem..." The two Japanese girls froze, slowly turning their heads to see Buffy standing in the doorway, a surprised look on her face. 

"Oh, uh... Hi, Buffy! Heheheheh..." Ranma piped up, rubbing the back of her head in embarrassment. Akane blushed furiously and gently replaced the bed. 

"Oh-kay... I think we need to set a few ground rules, kids... No fighting in the house, for starters..." Buffy ticked off each point on her fingers. "No throwing furniture at each other,and no being so darn perky first thing in the morning, hmm? Now kiss and make up, Mom made breakfast..." 

"Sorry..." Akane and Ranma chorused. 

"It's okay, you two. Just ease up a little, huh? This is California, the mellow state." 

"Um, Buffy?" Ranma piped up. "Do you have any clothes I could borrow? I need to do a load of laundry, and Akane and I aren't really the same size..." She gestured down at the ill-fitting dress. "Maybe something a little less... girly?" 

Buffy looked pensive for a moment. "Hmm. You know, I just might... You're lucky, you know. I don't let just anyone raid my wardrobe... C'mon, I'll set you up." * * * With a little help from Buffy's keen fashion sense, Ranma was soon resplendent in a red cropped Tee shirt and a pair of stretch nylon slacks with a small flare at the ankles. Sneakers were borrowed, as well as appropriate undergarments. (The last under extreme protest, until Buffy explained at length how boxers would leave noticeable lines under the black stretch fabric and that the braless look went out in the seventies.) Even Ranma had to whistle when she saw herself in the full length mirror. 

"Whoosht! I *am* a hot little tamale!" Buffy beamed proudly. 

"I'm glad to see that years of mall-crawling in the Hollywood Hills weren't entirely wasted. Are you sure I can't convince you to undo that pig-tail? We could brush it out, and you'd have a nice wavy-thing going on..." 

"Are you kidding? That's my trademark... er... thing! I'd feel naked without it. Er, not that i'm complaining, but... isn't it hard to fight in these tight pants?" 

"Trust me Ranma. Stretch nylon is a Slayer's best friend. Or a Slayer's best friend's best friend. Or a Slayer's In-suzuki's best friend..." 

"I get the idea, thanks... Now, If Akane'd just dress this well, maybe she wouldn't look like such a tomboy all the time... It's no wonder I get all the guys..." 

"Are you sure you're really straight? 'Cause that last statement was mondo weird..." 

"'Course I'm straight!! Geez !" * * * Akane had discovered that breakfast in the Summers home was a little different than what she was used to back home. When Joyce Summers "made breakfast", it seemed to extend to no more than brewing a pot of coffee and getting the toaster waffles out of the freezer. Joyce was all smiles, although Akane's unaccented English threw her for a loop at first. 

"Oh, *that*... I guess I was just a little jet-lagged last night... my English suffers a little when I'm tired, that's all. Ranma's the same way..." 

"Well, it's just amazing! All those wonderful things they say about the Japanese school system must be true... I couldn't even convince Buffy to take freshman French... So tell me a little about yourself, Akane. How old are you? What part of Japan are you from?" 

"Umm, well, I'm eighteen years old, and my family has, er.. had a Training Hall in Nerima. It kinda got levelled last month..." 

"Oh, my goodness! A hurricane?" 

"Um, no... Slayer business." 

"Oh... I suppose that property damage is part of the job..." She forced a laugh. "How about Ranma? Is she a friend or family?" 

"A friend of the family, actually. Her dad and my dad used to train together when they were young. When they decided that Ranma and I had to..." She stopped herself, remembering that Mrs. Summers didn't know about the Jusenkyo curse, or the engagement. "Er, inherit the Dojo and combine our father's Martial Arts Schools, she and her dad came to live with us. Er, can I ask you something, Mrs. Summers?" 

"Of course, honey." Joyce smiled reassuringly. 

"Did you know Faith Spencer? The girl I, er... replaced? Buffy hasn't spoken about her, and Mr. Giles was kind of evasive..." A sad look passed over Joyce's face as she remembered. 

"Yes, yes I did... She spent Christmas with us last year. She *seemed* like a nice girl, but... she was so very angry all the time. I'm sorry to say I didn't know her very well before she died. Buffy won't tell me what happened to her, other than it had something to do with all that mess that happened at Graduation..." Joyce sighed, taking a sip of her coffee before continuing. "I worry about Buffy sometimes. All the time, actually. I suppose it's sort of like being a police officer's mother. You know your child is doing good work, important work,but you still can't help but wish..." She shook her head, clearing her throat. "Well, anyway, I imagine your parents feel much the same way." 

"Actually, Mrs. Summers, my father encourages me. He's very big on duty. I know he must worry, though..." Joyce nodded, her gaze growing distant. 

A change of subject might be a good idea here, Akane thought. 

"Er, these are very good waffles, Mrs. Summers." 

"Hmm? Oh, I can't take credit for these, Akane. The toaster does all the work... Speaking of work, I really have to get going. Will you tell Buffy and Ranma when they get down that I won't be back for dinner? There's pizza in the fridge..." She gathered up her plates, taking them to the dishwasher. She grabbed her briefcase, almost shyly giving Akane a quick peck on the top of her head. "You take care, Akane." She hurried out the door. 

Akane sat stunned for a moment at Joyce's unexpected display of affection. Wow, she thought. She's really nice. Buffy's lucky to have a Mom who cares that much... Heck, she's lucky she's *got* a Mom... Tears began to well up in her eyes, as memories of Kasumi flooded her mind. Her voice, her perfume, the sense of inner peace she radiated at all times. She fought hard against the wave of grief that washed over her. Oh, no you don't Akane, don't go there. Not now... 

Collecting herself with a sniff, she went over to the stairs. 

"Buffy! Your Mom just left for work!" She called up the stairs. "Ranma! Hurry up and get dressed! We should check in with Dr. Tofu soon!" 

"Coming! I'm almost ready!" Ranma called down. Buffy came down the stairs carrying a boombox. 

"Presenting, the all-new, stylin' and profilin' Ranma Saotome! Ta-Dah!" Buffy pressed play on the tapedeck, and Right Said Fred's "I'm too Sexy" came blasting out. 

Ranma descended the staircase doing a creditable impression of a fashion model, striking poses on every step, looking fabulous in western clothes. Akane couldn't help but giggle. 

"Ranma, you look... American!" Akane laughed. 

"That'd *better* be a complement, Akane." Buffy mock-growled. The three laughed. 

"That's gonna look cute if you accidentally change back into a guy, Ranma. Especially the tight pants..." Akane smiled at the mental image. Ranma blanched. 

"Ooops. I never thought of that... Umm, Buffy? I don't suppose you..." 

"Do you *see* any males in this house, Ranma? You'll just have to be careful until you can do your laundry. Speaking of which, the machine's in the basement, soap's on the shelf..." 

"Aargh..." Ranma disappeared downstairs. Buffy sat on the bottom step, pulling on a pair of sneakers, while Akane fiddled with a brochure she found on the table in the foyer. 

"Hey, Buffy... Is this where your Mom works?" She held up the pamphlet. It was an ad for the Ancient China exhibition at the Sunnydale Museum of Natural History. 

"Yep. Why, you wanna go see that?" 

"Do you think we could? It might be interesting..." 

"Well, maybe Willow'll want to go. I'm not much for musty old things. I live in the now..." 

Ranma resurfaced from the basement. 

"Alright, I've a load in the washer. Can we get goin'? I need to do something. All this standin' around is drivin' me nuts." 

"Sure. We'll go talk to Giles and Dr. Veggie-burger, pick up Willow along the way, and then we can show you guys scenic Sunnydale California, okay?" 

"Sounds good to me..."Akane smiled. Ranma nodded her agreement. * * * "Knock Knock! Slayers and guest, party of three!" Buffy pounded cheerily on the door to Giles' apartment. The door swung open. 

"Ah, Buffy, excellent. Good morning Akane, Ranma..." Giles ushered them into his living room. "Dr. Tofu will be out in a moment, he's in the shower. Have you eaten?" Akane and Buffy nodded. Ranma shook her head. 

"Well then, there's tea and fresh bagels on the counter, help yourself..." Ranma set to with a vengeance while Buffy and Akane sat down on the hide-a-bed. Buffy scanned the room, noting the stacks of books on every available surface. She leaned forward, kicking her legs as she spoke. 

"So, Giles. Dr. Bean-curd keeping you up at night snoring? You've got luggage under your eyes." 

"Er, what? Oh, yes.. that is, no, I've been reading up on some of the esoteric techniques used by Akane and Ranma, as well as some of the characteristics of Oriental undead... Fascinating reading, really quite absorbing. A whole different class of demons quite unlike anything we've faced." 

"Hmm. Monsters and beasties and things that go slurp in the night. Always *my* favorite choice for bedtime reading..." 

"Yes, well... all sarcasm aside, Buffy, we may be in serious trouble. Dr. Tofu has answered some questions I had about this whole affair, and I must say I am quite concerned...." 

Akane looked away. Ranma froze, a bagel to her lips. 

"He told you what happened in Nerima?" Ranma whispered. 

"What happened in Nerima?" Buffy queried. 

Giles explained to Buffy about the battle at the Tendou Dojo. When he got to the casualty list, Akane broke down in sobs. Ranma rushed to comfort her, hugging Akane close, her own eyes moistening. 

"Oh my god, guys... I'm so sorry..." Buffy looked over at the couple, then up at Giles. "So, uh, what about these two vamps, whatchacallem, Mousse and Shampoo?" Ranma looked up. 

"Mu-Tsu. Xian-Pu. They'll follow us. You can bet money on it," she said in a voice as cold as the grave. "I'll kill him myself for what he did to Kasumi..." 

"Get in line..." Akane whispered. 

"At any rate, Buffy... These two vampires... They are creatures of a very different stripe than our domestic breed... The Oriental Vampire is unaffected by crosses, for example. They are metamorphs, and possess many other abilities that can only truly be described as magical in nature. The techniques that must be used to fight them... Well, it may necessitate retraining you almost completely." 

Dr. Tofu emerged from the bathroom in a robe, towelling his hair dry. "Ah, good morning, Akane, Ranma. Buffy-sama. I... oh dear. What happened?" Perching his glasses on his nose, he took in the scene. "Oh. I see. We are discussing the Dojo battle." His mouth hardened. Buffy noted that Tofu's eyes sported bags of their own. Well, no wonder, she thought. If what she suspected about him and Akane's sister was correct, he couldn't have been sleeping well either... 

"We have given this some thought. I have prepared a training schedule with Giles-sama for you three, equally balancing Buffy's experience in Slaying with the techniques we have learned from the Manous, as well as some of the techniques of the Saotome and Tendou Schools of Indiscriminate Grappling. You shall each be responsible for tutoring the others in your respective specialties. Mr. Giles?" 

"Indeed. Buffy, it's up to you to give Akane and Ranma the benefit of your experience. Drill them on the habits and haunts of our local vampires, as well as our patrol patterns and working with Willow, Xander and the others. Akane, you will teach the Manou style, including spirit-weapon manifestation and the use of tesseracts. Ranma, we leave the martial training in your competent hands. We should begin right away. As soon as Dr. Tofu is dressed, we can leave. I've made arrangements secure the gymnasium at Sunnydale Elementary for training every day from ten 'till two." 

"Whoa! Hold on a minute, Giles! I was gonna take these two on the grand tour today with Wil and Xander... Can't we start this tomorrow?" 

"Hmm. Yes, capital idea, Buffy. Call Willow and Xander. Oz, if he's awake. They should participate in this as well." 

"That's not what I meant!" 

"Buffy..." Akane said quietly. "It's really for the best. Mu-Tsu and Xian-Pu are extremely dangerous opponents. Anything you can teach us would help..." Ranma nodded in agreement. 

"Okay, whatever you guys want... There goes another sunny summer day..." * * * "So, Wil. Remind me why we're here again? Every time I set foot in here, I have horrible dodgeball flashbacks..." Xander grumbled, yawning. 

"Because you wanted to meet the new Slayer. Plus, she's gonna be showing Buffy a thing or two, and Giles thought we might be able to help." 

"Well, you know me... always willing to help out the ol' Scooby Gang... *And* meet female foreign exchange students. Did'ja know I'm huge in Europe? Sort of like David Hasselhoff... Hey, is that her?" He pointed at Ranma, who was entering the gym in a white Gi. "Wow. A red-headed Asian girl. I've had dreams that start this way..." Willow gently punched him in the arm. 

"No, silly. The dark haired one. That's Ranma. The Slayer's name is Akane. She's really neat." The two friends watched Ranma fly through a rapid series of katas, displaying speed and agility light years beyond Buffy's considerable talents. 

"Are you sure? 'Cause Sister Street Fighter there looks like the genuine article to me..." His eyes slid over to Akane, doing warm-up stretches in a yellow Gi. "Her friend looks pretty limber, but..." 

Buffy entered in sweatpants and a T-Shirt. 

"Ah, here's the home team... Hey Buff!" She jogged over to her friends. 

"Hey guys! Where's Oz?" She wiped a bead of sweat off her forehead. 

"He's still asleep. Musicians..." Willow smiled. "So, you gonna show the new girls your stuff? Ranma looks pretty good..." 

"I'm no slouch myself, Wil. Just you wait. As soon as Giles and Veggie-man are ready to start, you'll see the Buffy-meister in action..." The two watchers arrived from the dressing rooms, Giles in a grey jogging suit and Tofu in a black Gi. 

"Ah, You're all here, marvelous. Willow, Xander, this is Dr. Tofu Ono, Akane's watcher..." Tofu bowed. Xander smiled, extending a hand to the Japanese man. 

"Hi! Yoko's nephew?" Dr. Tofu looked at him quizzically. 

"Er, never mind..." 

Willow elbowed Xander aside. 

"" She said in Japanese. Tofu smiled in response. 

"" 

"" 

"I have absolutely *no* idea what you're all saying, but I ask again, why are we here?" Xander interjected, a little irritably. Giles took off his glasses, polishing the already spotless lenses with a sigh. 

"You are here, Xander, because I thought it might be wise for you two to familiarize yourselves with the abilities of your new teammates. Akane and Ranma will be staying here for the foreseeable future, after all." 

"Teammates? How official..." Xander mused. "So we're a *team* now, are we? Neat. Can I be the little furry guy with the claws? No wait, that's Oz... How about the witty and irresistible Cajun? Ah ga-ron-tee mon chere..." 

Giles, Willow, Tofu and Buffy blinked. 

"Wow, tough room... okay, shutting up now." 

"Right. Now if we're all ready to begin... Buffy, Ranma, if you two would start us off with a bit of sparring?" 

"Sure, no probs. You ready, Ranma?" Ranma looked hesitant. "What's the matter? Afraid I'll kick your butt?" She smiled sweetly at the Japanese girl. 

"Er, it's just... I don't fight girls. Human ones, that is... I make a special exception for vampires." 

"Well, just pretend I'm one of them, then. Besides, this is only a sparring match. I promise to take it easy on you..." Akane walked over to the group smiling like the cat that ate the canary. 

"This conversation sounds awfully familiar... Ranma, just fight her, okay? She's a Slayer, she can keep up." She sat down on the courtside bench. The others joined her after a second, leaving the two girls on the mat. 

"Well, if you say so, Akane..." Ranma slid easily into a defensive stance. "Ready Buffy? Hit me with your best shot." 

Buffy brought up her guard in turn, and the two circled on another warily. Buffy made a quick feint to Ranma's head, switching rapidly into a spinning side kick. Ranma easily sidestepped both blows, sweeping out with a low leg drag, knocking Buffy's feet out from under her. The American girl fell to the mat, but recovered quickly, regaining her footing with a quick kip-up. Blow after blow was exchanged, Buffy blocking and Ranma dodging easily aside. It seemed that they were fairly evenly matched... 

"C'mon Ranma.." Akane called from the sidelines. "Quit fooling around and fight for real..." 

Buffy goggled. 

"Not for real?... I'm- WHOoollp!!" A lightning fast flurry of punches landed hard on Buffy, sending her flying across the room into the bleachers. 

"Buffy!!" Willow cried, running to her friend's aid, Giles and Xander hot on her heels. 

"Holy... What hit me..?" Buffy stood unsteadily. "Feels like..." She lifted up the hem of her sweatshirt, revealing a number of rapidly purpling bruises. "What the heck was that?! It felt like a jackhammer!" 

"Sorry..." Ranma called sheepishly. "I tried to pull my punches as much as I could..." 

Tofu took a look at the bruises. 

"Hmm. I'd say you succeeded, Ranma. You didn't break any ribs." He stood. "That, Buffy, was the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken, or Sweet Chestnut Fist, one of the attacks I hope you'll be able to learn. What Ranma did was use it to hit you close to a hundred times. At full power, the Amaguriken strike could easily pulp a body's internal organs in a heartbeat." The group whistled. Ranma rubbed the back of her head, laughing modestly. Buffy felt her bruises, wincing slightly. 

"Whoa... Just think what I could do with Mr. Pointy and that move... Vampire puree!" 

Xander leaned over to Willow and stage whispered. 

"Are you *sure* she's not the Slayer..?" Willow nodded slowly. He rocked back and forth on his heels. "Just checkin'..." 

Giles hovered, worried. 

"Do you think you're up to another demonstration, Buffy? There's one more technique I'd like Ranma to show you all today. To be honest, I didn't realize exactly how strong Ranma is..." 

"S'okay, Giles... I'm ready for a second round... I think..." 

She walked back out onto the mats, resumed her stance. 

"Let's do it, Ranma." Ranma shrugged, and assumed a soft defensive stance. The spectators moved back, giving the competitors their space. 

"Okay, Buffy, come at me. Don't hold anything back, alright?" 

"Don't worry. I owe you for that Sweet Chestnut Thingee!" 

She charged the Japanese girl, going in low this time. Ranma nimbly leapt over her head, backflipping into a defensive stance across the gym from her original position. She closed her eyes, pulling her arms down and to one side like she was catching an invisible baseball bare-handed. Buffy spun and charged back towards her opponent, failing to notice the blue glow growing between Ranma's cupped palms. 

"Mokou Takabisha!!" 

"Huh?" 

The blast of blue energy struck Buffy head on, picking her up off her feet and sending the petite blonde flipping end over end into the far wall. She collapsed to the floor with a grunt, leaving a faint impression in the painted cinderblock wall. The spectators and Watchers rushed over to her side. 

"Buffy! Are you okay?" Willow helped Buffy to her feet. Her hair and clothes were slightly singed. 

"Unnh... I think I've had enough for today..." She collapsed in a faint in Willow's arms, her breathing deep and regular. 

"She'll be fine, everyone. Ranma was holding back, weren't you?" Dr. Tofu said reassuringly. Ranma hesitated, looking down for a moment at her hands before nodding. 

"I, uh... Yeah, I was holding back. Is Buff gonna be all right?" Tofu nodded. 

"She has a quick-healing ability, remember?" 

"Holy Mortal Kombat, Batman!" Xander exclaimed. "I didn't think that kind of thing existed in real life!" He examined the Buffy-shaped dent in the wall. "Uh, guys? This is some seriously powerful stuff here. Can anybody learn this?" 

Tofu nodded. "Almost anyone, if they've ten years or so to spare on constant training, could become a good enough martial artist to attempt it. Luckily, Buffy's abilities as a Slayer should allow her to learn this technique relatively quickly." Xander's shoulders slumped. Willow piped up. 

"What exactly *was* that? It didn't look like a spell to me..." 

Ranma answered readily. 

"It's just focused Ki. Life-force, energy, whatever you wanna call it. I'm not too good at explaining the zen of things... It draws on your self-confidence and inner strength. So as long as you have faith in your own abilities, you're able to use it." 

"Jinkies... All that from just thinking happy thoughts?" Willow whispered breathlessly. Akane laughed softly in return. 

"The Mokou Takabisha is great, so long as you have no self-doubt. Only the very competent or the extremely stupid can use it well, since any fear you feel diminishes the power." Ranma looked stunned, then angry. 

"Hey! Was that a dig?!" 

"You tell me, Ranma..." Akane said, her back to her iinazuke. As such, she didn't notice the hurt look that crossed Ranma's face, to be replaced a moment later with her familiar scowl. Obliviously, Akane continued. "The good thing is, if she can't get a handle on this one, there's an equivalent technique she can learn that's fuelled by fear and insecurities, the Shi Shi Hodoukan. But I don't think we should worry about that right now, guys. We should take a break, try things again tomorrow..." 

"I quite agree.." Giles said. "I fear we've some distance to go before we're ready to face Mu-Tsu and the others. Right now, I'm more concerned with Buffy's health. None of us will be in any condition to fight these creatures if we don't take things a little slower..." Buffy stirred, opening her eyes with a groan. 

"Here's an idea... Why not use a tackling dummy instead of me? Who elected *me* official punching bag?" Dr. Tofu blinked once before responding. 

"I suppose we could... it's just it'd be easier for *you* to learn the techniques by sparring against Ranma than against a dummy. Perhaps we can have Akane take over the lesson from here on in. Her techniques can be demonstrated without an opponent..." 

Akane looked worried. 

"If you think so, Dr. Tofu... I'm just concerned about Buffy." She turned to her American counterpart. "Are you *sure* you want to continue? We can always do this later..." 

Buffy smiled thankfully, but shook her head. 

"Let's see your stuff, Akane... I can see I've got some catching up to do..." 

Akane smiled sympathetically. 

"Don't feel badly... Ranma and I are trained martial artists... we've been doing this kind of thing since we were little. But you've got a natural talent, I could tell watching you spar. You'll pick this stuff up in no time..." She extended a hand to help Buffy to her feet, which the blonde girl gratefully accepted. "For your average, run-of-the-mill vampire or oni, these techniques are pretty superfluous. But Mu-Tsu and Xian-Pu aren't just ordinary vampires... they've each got a lifetime of training in the martial arts as well. You- *We've* got to be prepared, that's all." A troubled look hung on her features for a moment. Shaking her head as if to clear it, she led the blonde girl out onto the mats as the others withdrew to the sidelines once more. 

"Do you fight with weapons very often, Buffy?" Akane asked, settling into a lotus position. Buffy joined her, arranging her limbs with a little difficulty. 

"Giles drills me with a few things but, other than Mr. Pointy, I can count on one hand the times I've used any of 'em in hand to hand combat." Akane nodded. 

"That's fine. What you need to do is close your eyes and picture a weapon in your mind. Pick the one you're most comfortable with, and imagine it resting in your hand. As solid and as three-dimensional as you can make yourself see it. Consider the weight and heft of the object. If it's got a blade, imagine how sharp it is, like a razor's edge... Can you see it?" 

Buffy scrunched up her nose, but nodded. 

"Good. Now, keep concentrating on the weapon, and breathe. Feel the air enter and leave your lungs. Picture it as a cloud of light, permeating your body, filling your chest, arms, legs... and then release the air." Buffy exhaled loudly. "Good, now, again, pull in the light, feel it, and exhale. Are you keeping your weapon in mind?" Buffy nodded. "Good. Continue..." 

On the sidelines, Willow leaned over to Giles, whispering. 

"Is she doing what I think she's doing?" Giles nodded, his eyes still focused on the pair of Slayers. 

"A conjuring spell... Object manifestation is one of Akane's specialties. It would be invaluable to Buffy if she could learn it..." His attention returned to the girls sitting zazen on the mats. Akane was ready to move onto the next step of the lesson. 

"Now, Buffy, here comes the tricky part... The next time you draw in the cloud of light, don't release it when you exhale... can you try it? Nod if you understand..." 

Buffy nodded calmly. 

"Terrific. Now, once you've built up a bit of light, say, maybe three or four breaths worth, send the light down along your arms into the palms of your hands, and hold it there..." 

On the sidelines, Xander's eyes widened as he watched the blue-white glow build around Buffy's hands. 

"Wil... Are you seeing this too, or am I going mental?" Willow nodded. 

"Yup. I see it." 

"Oh, good... What the hell is it? Anyone?" 

"Life force. Soul energy... It's the stuff you make magic with... Only I don't know too much about Conjuration or Transmutation yet... I had no idea Buffy could do this..." 

"Neither did she, I wager..." Giles interjected, whispering. 

"Use the Force, Buff!" Xander called, receiving an elbow in the ribs from Willow in response. Buffy didn't react, her attention focused on her breathing. Akane scowled at Xander, placing a finger to her lips in the "Shhh!" gesture before returning her attention to Buffy. 

"Keep going, Buffy, you're doing great... Now repeat the other steps, until it feels like you've got a ball of light the size of a basketball in each palm, okay? Take as much time as you need, there's no rush..." 

The spheres of light around Buffy's hands grew larger in fits and starts over the next few minutes, until they were the desired size. Beads of sweat were forming on her forehead, but her eyes remained closed. 

"All right, Buffy... now I need you to form that light into the shape of your weapon... picture the light filling it up like it was a hollow shell or a mold... until the whole thing is glowing like the sun... are you with me? Nod if you are..." 

Buffy nodded, concentrating. 

"Okay... now, keep the image of the weapon fixed in your head, but open your eyes and look down." 

Buffy complied. Her eyes widened in shock. The Americans gasped. Ranma and Tofu applauded. 

In her hands, real as life, right down to the little nicks and chips, was the sword she had been imagining! It was a long blade, and light, with a basket hilt. A rapier. Identical to the blade she had used last year to fight Angelus... The weapon glowed with a faint blueish luminescence, the overhead light reflecting off its polished surface as she turned it in her hand. 

"T-This is... Incredible! This is my sword! How did it get here?" 

"You created it, Buffy. The strength of your Ki manifested it..." Akane smiled proudly. 

"Is it real?" She asked wonderingly. 

"Quasi-real... A soul-sword can't cut you or me, or any other living thing... but it'll cut through demons and vampires like a hot knife through butter... " 

"Wow... Is it okay if I get up?" 

"Sure... take the weapon's measure. But remember to keep a portion of your mind fixed on the blade, otherwise it'll fade away and get re-absorbed by your Ki..." 

Buffy stood, and went through a quick series of thrusts, parries and ripostes. It felt exactly like the real thing! She turned to Akane, eyes wide with amazement. 

"This is too cool... Can you do this, too?" 

Akane nodded and closed her eyes for a moment, reaching behind her back for a second before producing a 20-lb glowing wooden sledgehammer. 

"I like the hammer, myself. Less messy, and blunt objects have the added bonus of affecting mortals as well as supernatural beings." 

"No kidding!" Ranma piped up from the sidelines. Buffy shook her head, unable to tear her eyes away from her blade. 

"Hey, howcome that only took you a second?! It took me ten minutes- Oh! Let me guess... practice, right?" 

"You bet. It gets easier every single time you try it. Someone who is truly adept at this technique can produce almost anything from nowhere. Mu-Tsu, before he became a vampire, was a master. Since the technique requires control over your Ki, and the undead don't have any, he lost the ability when he died. Of course, his vampiric metamorphic powers can almost make up for it... He can make a weapon out of his own flesh and bone. It's not very pretty to watch..." She shuddered. "You can let the sword go, now. The synaptic pathways have been forged, so all you'll need to do from now on is find your center, and will it into existence... Pretty cool, huh?" Buffy nodded, letting the rapier fade away in a rain of sparkles. "The Tendou and Saotome Schools of Indiscriminate Grappling teach the basics of this technique, but it was the Manou family who really developed this into an exorcism tool. How do you feel, Buffy?" 

"A little... drained, I guess. Is that because I used up some of my, er... Ki?" Akane nodded. "Wow. Isn't that kind of a drawback in a fight?" 

"Yes. You can avoid that by storing Ki energy when you have time. You'll need a focusing object, something you keep with you all the time... I use this ring, here..." She held up her hand, revealing a small gold-colored band on her left middle finger. "It's just a little gold-plated thing I got from my mom before she died, but it does the job. You just do the meditation we practiced today, and instead of sending the Ki energy into your hands, send it into your focus. It'll stay there until you need it. To access the reserve, you just touch the focus and zing! Instant Ki stash. Of course, you could still use that up, too... So pulling out the soul-sword should still be a last resort. Pretty much all the stuff Ranma and I can teach you involves manipulating your Ki in one way or another, either to manifest a weapon, add to the strength or speed of your strikes, like the Tenshin Amaguriken, or just as a force blast, like the Mokou Takabisha or Shi Shi Hodoukan. So the first thing you need to do is build up your Ki. Once you've got that up to speed, everything else comes easily. Do you think you can do it?" Akane asked with a smile. 

"Sure... it seems so easy, y'know? Why doesn't everybody do this?" 

"Not everybody *can* do it... It's like the difference between learned skill and inborn talent in a musician. Some people are competent, some are geniuses, and others are just plain tone-deaf. It's not a reflection on someone as a person. Even with the talent, some people have it to greater or lesser degrees. Ranma, to give credit where it's due, is one of the most talented and adaptive Ki-users on the planet. I've got a knack for mallet manifestation, but that's mostly it. I've been training hard, but for the meantime, it's better that Ranma teach you the blasts and special moves once you feel up to it." 

The two girls continued their conversation while the others sat on the bench, with varying looks of pride or amazement on their faces. 

"Marvelous! Truly marvelous, Giles... She is every bit as promising as we'd hoped! We may beat the creatures yet!" Tofu was ecstatic at Buffy's progress. Giles was equally happy, but restrained his elation beneath the trained composure of a proper Englishman. 

"Quite... Well, I certainly think we've had enough for today..." He stood, clapped his hands to get everyone's attention. 

"Well done, all... Same time tomorrow, then? Willow, Xander, tomorrow we can work with you two as well." 

Xander could barely contain his urge to do an impromptu Riverdance right there and then. 

"How incredibly cool is that, Wil? I'm gonna be putting Jackie Chan to shame in no time flat!" 

Actually, Xander..." Ranma said apologetically, "It takes a trained eye to see this, but... you don't have the knack... for Ki use, anyway. We can teach you some moves, sure... but *this* stuff is going to be way beyond you..." She patted him on the shoulder soothingly. 

"Aw, man..." 

"Don't take it so hard, guy. Maybe we could work on weapons, or straight hand to hand..." 

"I *never* get to do the cool stuff... Wait. What kind of weapons?" 

"Uhm, the katana, if you want. Maybe a staff or polearm like the naginata? You've got the reach to pull it off..." 

"Samurai Xander... Works for me..." He smiled faintly, his mind wandering. "Maybe i'll cancel my cross country drive after all..." 

"What about me? Do I get to be ninja Willow?" Willow asked cheerily. Dr. Tofu cleared his throat. 

"Well, Willow, I was hoping you, Giles and I could work together. Your growing skill in western sorcery could be invaluable to a project we're working on. If you'd like, I can lend you some of my texts on pressure points and aggressive Shiatsu, if you're really interested in martial training..." 

"Sounds neat... Oh! But I can't read Japanese! That could be a big problem... " 

"Hmm. let's see... what about a variation of the language spell you used on Akane and Ranma?" 

"Hey! I don't know why I didn't think of that sooner! Great!" 

"Wonderful. I've some texts with me right now. Then, while the others are working on their martial training, we three can begin work..." 

"Nifty! Oh, but no, I'm supposed to go the cram camp next week, so I won't be around, which kinda sucks..." 

"Not to worry, Willow, " Giles said reassuringly. "I'm sure we can work something out. Perhaps some sort of extra credit for college... I can speak to your mother this week..." 

"Okay! Twist my arm... Ouch!" 

Ranma sauntered over. 

"Hey, Willow? I've been meaning to ask... any progress with that spell we were talking about yesterday? Not that I'm trying to rush you or anything..." 

"It's okay... No luck yet, but i'm keeping my eyes open..." 

"Oh. Sure... No problem, really." she sighed. "It was just a shot in the dark..." * * * In the basement of a deserted warehouse near the waterfront, the latest overlords of Sunnydale's vampire underworld were waiting out the day in a room furnished with the rescued set pieces from Sunnydale U's production of The King and I. Mu-Tsu reclined in a sedan chair while Xian-Pu curled up in a pile of silk-covered pillows. Mu-Tsu grumbled irritably in Mandarin Chinese. 

"These Americans are pathetic, my love... All this fuss over one little girl..." 

Morphing his hand into a bird-like claw, he stabbed a talon into a tattered copy of the 1999 Sunnydale High Yearbook, impaling the photo of Buffy Summers on the tip. He slumped down into his cushioned chair, flinging the hardbound book across the candlelit room. Xian-Pu strode languorously up behind him, ran a tapered finger down his neck. Spinning around, she draped herself across his lap. Purring quietly, she kissed his chest before looking up into the night-black lenses that hid his eyes. 

"Don't trouble yourself over the American, my husband. She is hardly a threat to our plans... Have your minions found the mirror yet?" He smiled down on her, a hint of fang showing in the grin. 

"Yes... By dawn tomorrow, it will be no more... I am still concerned about the Tendou girl... She and the hated Saotome may yet vex me... Tonight, while I secure the mirror, you shall dispose of Saotome. Take the gymnast with you..." He lifted her chin to look into her eyes. Her gaze was distracted. "What is it... surely you don't still *feel* anything for that fool?" She looked away. 

"Of course not... All will be as you say... " She curled up tighter against him, sliding her barely-covered chest across his with special emphasis. "Come back to bed, husband... Your dinner is getting cold..." She gestured at the unconscious girl dressed in the tattered remnants of a MacDonalds staff uniform lying on the floor. 

"I hate fast food... " He stood, gently depositing Xian-Pu on his vacated seat. "I hate America. A nation full of startled-looking idiots acting like they're the center of the universe... If it wasn't for the Mirror, and that fool Saotome..." 

"And Tendou Akane..." Xian-Pu prompted. 

"*And* The Slayer, I wouldn't set foot in this backward country..." He sighed. "The things I do for global domination and unparalleled supernatural power." Xian-Pu slid over to him, rubbed his shoulders. He leaned back into the caress, a fanged smile crossing his lips. 

"Oooh. I love it when you talk like that, husband... Why don't we skip dinner and go straight to dessert... I've made something special just for you..." Shrugging out of her robe, she wrapped herself around him, purring contentedly. 

"You always were an excellent cook..." * * * "Man. I'm hungry. Anyone for chinese?" Xander asked the rest of the group. Everyone except for Ranma shrugged noncommittally. 

"Yeah, I could go for some. You've got chinese food here?" 

The five teenagers had escaped adult supervision in the aftermath of the lesson and had adjourned to the nearest coffee shop for refreshments. Ranma had been regaling the three American kids (with Akane making corrections to certain major embellishments as needed) with some of the more unbelievable tales of life at Furinkan High back in Japan. Willow and Xander had listened raptly, while Buffy had merely sipped at her coffee and groaned, her rapidly-healing bruises aching. 

"'Course we do, lil' lady! It's one of the four major food groups, ranking fourth behind pizza, potato chips and cheezy poofs. I could show you this one place with incredible dim sum... You wanna try it? My treat..." Ranma glanced quickly over at Akane, who shrugged her shoulders. 

"Go ahead if you want. I need to talk to Buffy..." Ranma nodded, turning her face back to Xander. 

"Sure, Xander. Never let it be said that I'd pass up a free meal... Anyone else wanna come?" 

"Not me, Ranma. I need a nap.." Buffy groaned. 

"Willow?" 

"No, that's okay... I was just gonna go meet Oz... Have fun anyway..." 

"Okay, Xander, looks like it's just you an' me. Lead on.." 

Ranma left with Xander, who flashed a thumbs up sign to the table and mouthed the word "Yes!" 

Akane turned to Willow, an odd look on her face. 

"Have you told him that Ranma's really a guy?" 

Willow gasped, placing a hand to her mouth. Buffy snickered. 

"Oh! Xander! Xander, wait...." Buffy placed a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. 

"Nah, Wil, let 'em go... A little male bonding never hurt anyone..." 

"Buffy! That's just plain mean..." * * * "So, are you and Akane related or something?" Ranma almost choked on his eggroll. 

"Hunh? No. Our dads are friends from way back. Why?" 

"Oh, it's just there's some kind of vibe between you two. I figured you had to be real close or something... So how do you like livin' in the USA?" 

"It's all right, I guess." Ranma answered around a mouthful of dumpling. "Haven't been here long enough to form much of an opinion, to be honest. Pleasantly cool for this time of year..." 

"Are you kidding? It's eighty degrees in the shade!" 

"Try Japan in July sometime. This is nothin'." 

"Huh. So, uh... you got anyone special back home?" Ranma looked up, her eyes widening. Xander continued, backpedalling rapidly. "Oh, uh... not that i'm trying to, uh, that is... I'm just making conversation, that's all..." 

"I don't wanna offend you or nothin', but I don't like guys..." Ranma said discreetly. He liked the guy, and didn't want to hurt his feelings. It was none of *his* business if Xander was gay... 

"Oh..." Xander breathed. Images popped into his head. Graphic images, worthy of an x-rated video. Restraining himself, he cleared his throat. 

"Hey, no problem, Ranma... I'm down with Pride and everything... Actually, I've often said I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body, heh heh..." Ranma stared at him blankly, blinking. 

"Lesbian? Oh, right... Damn. They didn't tell you, hunh?" 

Xander looked confused. 

"Tell me what?" Ranma leaned in closer to whisper in Xander's ear. 

"Xander, I'm really a guy..." Xander blinked once, then resumed eating, eyes on his plate. 

"Joking?" 

"Nope." 

"Transvestite?" 

"Nope." 

"Transsexual?" 

"Nope." 

"Oh-kay... that leaves... victim of a magical curse?" 

"No- I mean, yes! How'd you guess?" Ranma looked stunned. 

"Got a friend who's a werewolf. I was a hyena once. Another friend turned herself into a rat. It's not as uncommon as you might think..." Xander calmly continued to eat his chicken fried rice. 

"Man, you Californians *are* mellow." 

"Naw, it's just Sunnydale Fatigue. So how'd it happen?" 

"Fell in a cursed spring." 

"Ah. 'Nuff said, then." 

"You gonna eat that chicken ball?" 

"Go ahead. So is Akane really a guy too, then?" 

"Nope. Just a macho tomboy." 

"Would she mind if I asked her out?" 

"Actually we're sort of engaged. I'd rather you didn't." 

"Fair enough, forget I said anything. Pass the plum sauce, wouldja?" 

"Here you go." 

"Thanks." 

"No problem." * * * 

Dinner time chez Buffy... 

"He took it that well? Wow. That's Xander for you. Full of surprises..." Buffy finished off the last slice of pizza. Her healing factor had kicked in, and the bruises were already almost gone. 

"It was actually kinda nice.... Food was lousy, though. I can't believe they had the gall to call that crap chinese food..." Akane walked back in from the living room. 

"Probably didn't stop you from going back for second helpings, I bet..." 

"Hey, it *was* all you can eat... There's a concept that travels well... Why Ucchan doesn't do it, i'll never know..." 

"You'd bankrupt the poor girl. Anyway, enough about your bottomless pit. I need to ask you something." 

Akane produced the museum brochure she'd been examining that morning, flipping to the copiously-illustrated catalogue section. 

"Any of these things look familiar to you?" Buffy and Ranma peered over. 

"Isn't that the exhibit Mom's working on?" Buffy asked. "More moldy oldies..." 

"I don't see anything... Oh... My... God... Is that...?" 

"Happousai's magic mirror... The Nanban, you bet..." Ranma's eyes bugged. 

"How the heck did an American museum get ahold of that?!" 

"Better question... How do *we* get ahold of that?" Ranma turned to look at Akane, eyes wide. 

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" 

"Pretty sure..." 

Buffy looked perplexed. 

"Am I missing something? What's so special about an old, cracked mirror?" 

"Buffy, the Nanban mirror has the ability to transport people through time and space! We could go back, save Kasumi and the old ghoul... and Happousai too, I guess... Heck, we could even stop Mu-Tsu from casting the spell that made him a vampire in the first place!" Buffy shifted in her seat. 

"Wait a minute. I've seen Star Trek...under protest, but I've seen it... Isn't it impossible to change the past? I mean, what happened, happened, right?" 

"No, it's possible... just really, *really* dangerous. Who knows what could happen... " 

Buffy leaned back in her chair. 

"Stop me if i'm wrong, but... wouldn't changing the past so that all that bad stuff never happened alter the present so that you never found the mirror in the first place, thereby making it impossible for you to change things anyway? Or else, wouldn't it just create a parallel timeline where these things never happened and leave our reality completely unchanged?" 

Ranma and Akane stared at the American Slayer. 

"You've uh, really thought this one through, haven't you?" 

"Mm, not really. But i've seen Back to the Future..." 

"Oh..." 

"But still, whether you guys actually use it or not, we *should* probably go get it back from the museum. After all, leaving a time machine lying around isn't exactly smart... Do you want me to call Mom? She could probably 'lose' it, if necessary..." 

"We don't want to get your Mom in trouble, Buffy... Maybe we could lose it *for* her..." Ranma nodded. 

"It'd be a cinch. We could just sneak on in and grab the thing." 

"Well, I couldn't help you with that... My prints are on file with the local cops... Why don't we just try it the easy way first, before resorting to illegal activities..." 

"It's your call, Buffy. We really, really need to get ahold of it as soon as possible, though..." 

"All right, then. Akane, you and I'll go visit Mom, try to explain the situation, then we can go out on patrol like we planned. Ranma, why don't you just meet Willow and Xander at the Bronze like you wanted to, and try to have fun. You could use some...You'll like Oz's band, they're overdue for a record deal..." Ranma shrugged her shoulders with a sigh, obviously let down. 

"I guess... Lemme go shower and change, then I'll head out. You two better get moving, sunset's in half an hour..." 

"Hey, Ranma?" 

"Yeah?" 

"If you need to go before you change back, don't forget to put the seat down... Mom almost fell in this morning... That sort of thing could make her suspicious, y'know?" 

"Oops..." * * * "I'm afraid I just don't understand this, girls... you want to steal a priceless artifact because it's really a time machine? Are you pulling my leg?" Joyce stared at her daughter and houseguest. Sighing she sat down at the curator's desk, put her head in her hands. "Are you deliberately trying to make me insane? Because it's working, it really is... I can't just let you walk off with it! I'd be fired!" 

"Mom, I can't believe you! This is really really important! If somebody used it accidentally, without knowing what they were doing... Well, they could go back in time and kill a butterfly and then we'd all end up speaking Esperanto and worshipping Ned Flanders... Okay, that sounded just as stupid to me as it did to you, but really, Mom! That thing is just way too dangerous to be left lying around!" 

"Mrs. Summers, please! It's very important... It may be a matter of life and death..." Akane chimed in. 

"Sigh... Look, girls... I'll tell you what I'll do... I can make sure that the mirror is in a locked display case with an alarm system. Once the exhibit is over in two weeks, you two can give it to Mr. Giles to get rid of. But i'm afraid it stays here until then... The museum's already advertised it as part of the exhibition. The head curator knows it's here. It'll have to keep..." Buffy and Akane sighed. "Don't sulk. It's rude... now, do you two need a ride home, or are you going out to put yourselves in harm's way?" 

"Going out..." 

"Well, then, don't be too late... I'll leave the key under the mat, as usual... Now, I love you, stay safe, take care, and get out. I need to finish this tonight..." 

"Yes Mom..." 

"That's my girl..." * * * By the time Ranma arrived at the Bronze, night had fallen and the lineup to get in was already around the block. Fortunately, she spotted Willow at the front door and she waved her in. 

"Hi... Whoa, this place is crowded... Where's Xander and your boyfriend?" The two red headed girls shouldered their way through the crowd and headed for the couch near the pool table. 

"Xander said he'd meet us here... Oz is backstage warming up... He'll be the cute one on lead guitar..." 

"What's the band's name?" 

"Dingoes Ate My Baby..." 

"Grisly..." 

"It's a grisly town... So, how did your lunch with Xander go?" 

"Surprisingly well. He behaved himself, before and after I told him I was a guy... He's pretty cool." 

"Yeah, he's really nice. I hope you let him down easy..." 

"Yeah, he took the whole thing pretty well." She shook her head, trying to get out of her funk and relax. "So.. How does a girl get something to drink in here?" 

"You've got to flag down the waitress... Hello! Hi! Two girls need drinks!!" 

The waitress expertly ignored them. 

"Should I just go up to the bar? It might be easier..." Ranma stood. 

"Okay, if you don't mind... I'll take a coke, no ice..." Willow handed her a five dollar bill. 

"Be right back!" Ranma began elbowing her way through the crowd, and soon disappeared into the smoky haze. 

A familiar voice called out Willow's name. 

"Wil! Hey, Wil!" She looked around. 

"Hey, Xander! Who're your friends?" 

Xander had a girl draped over each arm. One was a shockingly purple-haired oriental girl. The other, also asian, had wavy black hair tied into a slightly punky topknot. Both were dressed in scandalously short leather skirts and halter tops, outfits that screamed "Bar Sluts" in loud high pitched tones. 

"This lavender-haired lovely is Shan, and on my right is Dachi... They're new in town. I told you I was huge overseas... Shan, Dachi, this is my friend Willow. You girls play nice, and i'll be back with drinks in a second... That was two Bloody Marys, right?" Both girls nodded. Xander in turn vanished into the crowd, leaving the three girls alone on the couch, Willow between the two newcomers. 

"So, umm... where are you two from?" Willow said in her sweetest, friendliest voice. 

"Uh, Korea..." Shan answered, a little distracted. She seemed to be scanning the crowd for someone. 

"Oh, don't worry, Xander'll be back in a moment... Where did you get your hair dye? I love that shade of purple..." 

"Mmm. Thanks. It's natural..." Shan said absently, continuing to scan the crowd. Shrugging her shoulders, Willow turned to Dachi. The dark-haired girl was staring intently at Willow, a small, predatory smile on her face. 

"You're very pretty, Willow... And such a lovely name. I love plants... Do you know what white willow is used for?" Willow nodded, smiling. 

"Sure, it's a pain reliever if taken properly..." 

"Mmm-hmm... " Dachi reached up and gently stroked the curve of Willow's cheek. Wil started, uncertain about what was going on. "Tell, me, Willow, if I take you properly, will you relieve my pain...?" 

"Oh! Oh, uhm, gee... I'm sorry, Dachi, but I don't really, uh... like girls. That is, I like them just fine, but, not really that way..." She stood up, gathering her things. She felt a strong hand clamp down on her wrist. "Hey, leggo!" 

"No, I don't think so... Why don't you join me outside in the alley, hmm? We can make it quick..." 

Willow froze, uncertain whether to yell for help from the bouncers or use her TK to remove the girl's hand from her arm, when she heard Ranma coming up behind her. 

"Hey, Willow, where're you goin'? I brought your coke..." The Japanese redhead froze as she spotted the two girls with Wil. 

"Thorn. Xian-Pu..." 

The two girls stood, smiling evilly. 

"Hello, Ranma..." Xian-Pu's eyes flared red as her tongue moistened her lips, showing a brief flash of ivory fang. Her companion chuckled merrily. 

"Ranma-Darling... So nice to see you... Do you know this little Amerika-jin? Answer truthfully..." 

"She's nobody. It's me you want..." 

"Actually... no. We were just looking for a nice light snack, and a coffee crisp didn't quite hit the spot. This charming little thing should do nicely, however... We've always had a taste for redheads..." She leaned over and gave Willow's neck a long, slow lick. Willow shuddered, closing her eyes. Ranma's aura flared blue, the Ki energy visible in the smoky bar's air. 

"Outside... Now..." Ranma growled, her battle-aura pulsing in rhythm with her words. 

Xander picked that moment to show up, a drink in each hand. 

"That was two Bloody Marys, right? I think the bartender made one of 'em' a Caesar by mistake, but I can never tell..." He looked up. "Hey, what's going on?" 

"Thanks all the same, Xander..." Xian-Pu said in a sultry voice, "But I think we'll settle for splitting a bloody Willow..." 

"Oh crap. Vampires. Boy oh boy, Harris, you sure can pick 'em." He dropped the drinks, the cocktails hitting the concrete floor with a crash. Several heads turned, including those of the bouncers. In seconds, they were surrounded by a trio of extremely burly men. 

"There some kind of problem here, ladies?" The largest man said. 

"None whatsoever..." Xian-Pu breathed. "My friend and I were just leaving, weren't we Thorn?" 

"Yes... We'll see you later, Ranma... Xander..." They released Willow and allowed themselves to be escorted from the bar, shooting the trio a red-tinged glare before mouthing the words "We'll be waiting..." as they disappeared out the doors. 

Willow, Ranma and Xander released the breaths they'd been holding all at once, as Ranma's Ki-aura faded away. 

"That was smart, Xander, getting the bouncers' attention that way. Vampires like to be discreet when killing... No animal shits where they eat..." Ranma growled. Willow nodded her assent. 

"Actually, I just... Er, yeah, that was pretty clever, wasn't it?" He puffed himself up a little. He was elbowed aside by a short young man in an old bowling shirt and two days growth of goatee on his chin. 

"Oh, hey Oz... You just missed the party..." 

"Oz!" Willow hugged the musician tightly. 

"What happened? Are you okay?" He held her at arms length, staring with concern into her eyes. 

"Yeah, i'm fine too, Oz, thanks for asking..." Xander mumbled. Ranma rolled her eyes. 

"I'm okay, Oz, really! We just had a visit from a pair of vampires, that's all..." 

"Oh. So long as you're all right..." He spared a moment to look over at the others. "Oh, hey Xander. Who's your friend?" Oz sniffed the air, a strange look passing across his face. 

"Ranma Saotome... You must be Oz... I've heard a lot about you." She extended a hand. Oz shook it. 

"Hey. You're about the most convincing drag queen I've ever met. Why aren't you famous?" 

"Hey!! I'm no drag queen!" 

"Well, you sure aren't a girl... you don't smell right. No offense meant, really. I think you guys put on a hell of a show..." 

"No, I'm a guy! I'm just..." Xander put a hand up and leaned in, whispering conspiratorially. 

"Fell in a cursed spring. Turns into a girl." 

"Hmm. Interesting." Oz mumbled, cocking an eyebrow. 

"He's the werewolf I mentioned..." Xander whispered to Ranma, as if it explained everything. 

"Right. And I thought Nerima was weird..." 

"I hate to be pushy here folks, but we have a major problem... The Brides of Dracula are waiting for us outside..." Xander whispered. "Now, ordinarily, I'd say, no prob, call the Buffinator, we're home free. And i've seen Ranma here in action, but... didn't someone say that these oriental vamps are a lot tougher than the homegrown kind? Ranma, d'you think you can take two of them on?" 

"Ordinarily, yes... But these two... well, they used to give me a hard time individually before they turned. Now? I'm not sure if I can do it. I'm gonna need your help if we wanna get out of this alive..." 

"You got it." Xander nodded. 

"Oh! Okay, I guess..." Willow said, swallowing hard. 

"I'll get the stakes..." Oz grunted, heading backstage... * * * "This totally sucks, Akane. Mom's being way to uptight about this..." Buffy grumbled to her partner as they strolled casually through Sunnydale Memorial cemetery. The grounds were quiet, the dead apparently staying dead, for a change. Akane broke out of her reverie, tried on a wan smile. She'd been thinking of possible ways to sneak away from Buffy and get the mirror without risking deportation or Joyce's job. 

"I understand her reasoning, Buffy... It's only two weeks to wait. It's just... If we can use it right, we can undo what Mu-Tsu did, to my home, to my family... Providing nothing happens to the mirror, I guess we'll be fine." Akane said, her attempt at optimism defeated by the sigh in her voice. 

"Yeah, but that's the problem, though. This is Sunnydale. We're perched scenically on top of a Hellmouth here. If there's an artifact of amazing power, chances are someone's after it already. I just wish that Giles and the Doc were home when we called, maybe they'd be able to help convince Mom... she's got a bit of a soft spot for Giles; I guess she likes men in tweed..." 

"Well, there's nothing we can do about it now..." Akane said unhappily. "Unless..." 

"Unless what? I detect the sound of a plan forming..." 

"Not so much a plan... just an idea. We could just stick to patrolling the museum grounds... sort of keep an eye on things tonight. Then in the morning, maybe Mr. Giles could talk to your mother." 

"Mmm. good idea..." 

"I sense a but..." 

"But... there are at least two vampires we've got to take care of here tonight..." 

"How do you know?" 

"Giles and I check the Obits and the police blotter in the paper every day... Three days ago, two people died of mysterious blood loss. Which in Sunnydale means they're due to surface sometime tonight. I've got their names here somewhere..." She patted the pockets of her jacket, eventually producing a newspaper clipping. "Ah ha. Here we go... Keep an eye out for two new graves, with the names 'Michael Wildgust' and 'Andrea Lafontaine'. Those're our targets." 

"Say, that's pretty clever... Did Mr. Giles think of that system?" 

"Nope. Lil' ol' me... Not too shabby, hmm?" 

"It certainly saves a lot of aimless wandering... I think I see a fresh grave over there..." 

The girls walked over to the freshly-turned earth. Buffy produced a Maglite flashlight and shone the beam on the headstone. 

"'Michael Wildgust'... Contestant number one, come on down..." Buffy switched off the flashlight, handing it to Akane. 

"Why don't you check around for the girl's grave. I'll keep an eye on Mikey here." 

"I've got an idea... Why don't we ward the grave? That way the vampire won't be able to rise." 

Akane took out a strip of fine paper with Kanjii ideograms painted on it. Buffy shone the light on the paper. 

"You used one of these on the vamp last night, right? I was wondering what that was..." 

"It's an Shinto exorcism prayer... If you stick one to a vampire's forehead, it'll immobilize them, or destroy them, depending on the strength of the creature. The two you were fighting last night were newly-risen, right?" Buffy nodded. "If they'd had a while to grow in power, they probably wouldn't have exploded like that. But if we place one on the grave, it should prevent the creature from reanimating until we're ready. Like, say... tomorrow night?" Buffy smiled, nodding slowly. 

"Giving two Slayers the night off to keep an eye on a magic mirror... I like it! We still have to find the girl's grave, though..." 

A twig snapped behind the pair of girls. 

"Or, that might not be necessary..." Buffy whispered, spinning around, Mr. Pointy in hand. Akane readied the ward. 

From the bushes lunged a female vampire, her face a demonic rictus. Spittle dripped from her fanged mouth, and her eyes were burning yellow coals. She threw herself towards the girls with a hiss, swiping wildly with claw-like hands still stained with gravedirt. 

The Slayers dodged easily, rolling to the left and right away from the vampire. Buffy then flipped forward, her arm snapping out in a fluid motion, sending Mr. Pointy flying into the vampire's chest. With a howl, the undead creature exploded into ash and dust, the now-unsupported stake falling to the ground with a dull thud. 

Buffy stood up, brushing dust and grass from her knees. 

"Well, that wasn't so hard, was it? Hurry up and ward that grave, and we can go check out the museum." Akane complied wearing a stunned expression. 

"What's the matter, Akane?" Buffy asked, stooping to collect her favorite stake. 

"It's just... Your reflexes are terrific! You must really be used to fighting these things... I still hesitate a second or two..." Buffy smiled at the compliment. 

"Well, I *have* been doing this for four years now... To be honest, these newborn vamps are a cinch, not much smarter than animals. The demon possessing the corpse hasn't really had a chance to absorb the victim's memories and personality. Or so Giles tells me, anyway. Once they grow up, well... They can get pretty nasty." 

"I-I.. guess I still have a lot to learn. Deliberately striking to kill isn't something I really practiced before, well, you know..." Akane mumbled. 

"Are you kidding? You can do stuff that'll turn these vamps white! Or, whiter, anyway... You just have to stop letting them scare you." 

"How can you *not* be scared? These are demonic creatures!" 

"Yeah, but strictly small-time on the demon food-chain. Whatever possessed your Mu-Tsu and turned *him*... Well, these little guys probably aren't even close to it's league... *That* worries me." * * * At the Sunnydale Museum of Natural History, Joyce Summers was just finishing the tally count of the exhibition items. She tucked a strand of wavy light brown hair behind her ear with a pencil, sighing in relief. She loved working at the museum, but the night before an exhibit opened was always stressful. She checked her watch. Quarter to eleven already? Where does the time go? 

She took a quick moment to check on the so-called "Nanban Mirror." According to Dr. Alberts, the head curator, it was at least a thousand years old, and came from a small village called Joketsuzoku in the Qinghai Province of China. The small hand mirror certainly was exquisite, Joyce thought to herself. It was a shame it was cracked, but... 

She secured the case with the passkey she'd been issued, armed the alarm system and stepped back. Time to find Harry, the security guard. He'd hang on to the key until Dr. Alberts came in at eight. Tucking the passkey into the pocket of her skirt, she strolled leisurely back to her office, the sound of her high heels echoing around the darkened, marble-floored hall. At the end of the corridor, she picked up the security phone, lifting the handset to her ear. 

There was no dial-tone. 

"Funny... Oh, well. I guess i'll just have to catch him in his office..." 

She hung up the receiver, turned around, and headed back the way she came. The security offices were at the front of the main hall, clear across the museum from the curating staff's. She sighed. It looked like she'd *never* get out of here... * * * In the security office, Mu-Tsu was polishing off a late night snack. Harry's limp form slumped as the last light left his eyes. The vampire pulled away, licking off his extended fangs with a red-stained tongue. 

"AAaah... *That* hit the spot..." He let the guard's drained body fall to the floor like a sack of rice. Suddenly, his sensitive ears detected a sound. Freezing, he listened hard. Footfalls... 

Without a sound, he leapt upwards, clinging to the ceiling like a lizard. He scuttled noiselessly forward until he was directly above the doorframe. Twisting around so that his back was to the ceiling tiles, he lay in wait for the hapless victim approaching... 

Americans... The Chinese vampire thought. Ten minutes later and you're hungry again... 

* * * Back at the Bronze, Ranma and the Slayerettes were trying desperately to come up with a plan. They'd managed to stay in after the club closed for the night thanks to Oz's connections, but they had to leave sometime... The Sunnydale gang's standard tactics weren't likely to work against these two vampires, considering their origins and martial arts skills. They held a huddle in the Dingoes' dressing room to debate strategy. 

"I don't see why we just don't hide in here where it's safe until sunrise..." Oz said, leaning back in his chair. 

"'Cause if we keep 'em waiting too long, they'll come in after us." Ranma said, frowning. "I'd rather take it to them, if we had any idea how to do it..." 

"No problem. Just bein' the suggestion guy..." 

"Right... so the first order of business is to get past Xian-Pu and Thorn. That won't be easy... and where Xian-Pu is, Mu-Tsu probably won't be far..." Ranma sighed. Plans were never her forte. She preferred to act alone. In the past month or so, she'd learned to expand her fighting style to compensate for a newly-powerful Akane as a partner, but... Bad enough her own abilities were becoming less and less reliable lately, but having to count on three other people, practically strangers, with no martial arts training? It looked grim... 

"Yeah, they probably brought flunkies, too. I say we're in it pretty deep, folks." Xander added disconsolately. "Any luck reaching Buffy or Giles?" Oz shook his head. 

"No joy... We gotta get that girl a pager... I left a message for Giles, but who knows when he'll be back... I think we're on our own for this one." Ranma leaned back in her chair, massaging her temples. 

"Think... Think... Okay, what are our assets? Willow, you can cast spells..." Willow nodded. 

"They usually take a little bit of preparation, though. Like a couple hours worth... My telekinesis is okay for throwing stakes around, though..." 

"Wooden stakes might do for the goons, but they'd just annoy Xian-Pu or Thorn... Can you make spirit wards or do an exorcism?" 

"Not quickly... I can maybe work something up that'll keep them at bay, since you said crosses won't affect them either... Oz, can you get my satchel?" Her boyfriend nodded, handing her the bag. She peered inside, nodded. "Goody! I *can* work something up... I need a few minutes, though..." Ranma nodded, about to turn away when he saw her pull three bagels out of her bag. 

"This is no time for snacking, Willow..." 

"Okay, Ranma? I don't tell you how to do kung-fu, so don't tell me how to do magic, 'kay?" 

"Er, okay... Our other assets are what?" 

"Well, I've got the Dingomobile..." Oz held up the keys to the band's van. "It's good for getaways..." 

"And I've got my sparkling wit and a bod which is for some reason irresistible to monster-women of all races creeds, colors and species." Xander chimed in. "I can be Decoy, the Boy Hostage..." 

"Terrific." Ranma sighed. "Which still leaves me to take out Xian-Pu and Thorn..." 

"Why don't you just Ki-Blast 'em to kingdom come?" 

"Problem with that idea is that throwing Ki around takes a lot out of me anymore... I might not have enough juice for more than one shot... And if that doesn't work...?" The table grew silent. Willow shot to her feet. 

"Hey! I've got an idea! I've been looking over one of the books Dr. Tofu lent me, I think it's one of his journals... Ranma, don't you know a technique called the Hiryuu Shoten Ha, Heavenly Dragon Blast?" 

Ranma nodded, blinking. 

"But that technique uses the enemy's Ki against him. It won't work on vampires, 'cause they ain't got any..." 

"Right." Willow said, leaning forwards conspiratorially. "But what if you did this instead..." * * * 

Twenty minutes later... 

Xander stepped alone out of the exit, the steel fire door swinging shut behind him. The metallic slam echoed through the empty, dark alleyway. 

He cleared his throat, rocking back on his heels. 

"Whew..." He said, perhaps a little too loudly. "Looks like the coast is clear..." 

He stepped out into the alley, stumbling for a moment as his foot found something slick and squelchy. He lifted his foot to examine the bottom of his shoe. 

"Ugh... I don't even want to *guess* what that might be..." He cleared his throat once more. 

"Guess i'll be heading home, since those scary vampire chicks are gone..." 

In answer, a high pitched laugh echoed through the alley, the sound of stiletto heels on pavement ricocheting off of the seeping walls. A pair of glowing red embers appeared in a pool of shadow not five feet away, causing Xander to start. 

Thorn emerged from the darkness, eyes sparking scarlet, a hand on a cocked hip. She eyed him appraisingly. 

"Oh, heheheh, hi... Dachi? Remember me, Xander? Bought you a drink?" 

"But of course I remember you, Xander-Darling... Tell me, what has become of your little friends, hmm? The pair of charming redheads?" She stepped closer, licking her lips hungrily. "You wouldn't be planning an ambush, would you?" She stepped back, snapping her fingers. Three other vampires emerged, obviously of the domestic variety. 

"Go and assist the Mistress... I have a theory to test..." The vampiric minions scattered, melting back into the shadows. Thorn spared them a glance before returning her attention to Xander. 

"Now, my little Amerika-jin... " She stepped closer to him. Were she a living girl, he might have felt her breath on his face. He paled noticeably. "Back home, we have a saying about white men... Big ears..." She touched his left ear gently. "Long nose..." She touched the tip of his nose playfully. "Big... well, you know..." He hand shot lower, grasping his most sensitive area roughly through his jeans. Understandably, he yelped in surprise and fear. "Hmm..." She murmured into his ear. "I see that the rumors are true..." 

Xander stammered, attempting to extricate himself from her grip without damaging himself. 

"Uhm, y'know, this might, *might* be a turn-on, if I didn't know you were planning on eating me..." She frowned, tsked, and released him. He stepped back with a little hop, manually assuring himself that all his equipment was still attached. 

"Oh very well... You Americans have no sense of drama or style... I suppose we can cut straight to the killing..." The glow in her eyes flared from a fiery red to a bright sulphurous smoulder. Her lower jaw unhinged, the chin extending down and out, the teeth elongating and becoming pointed. Her forearms stretched as well, becoming half again as long as they should have been, her digits extending, growing talon-like with ebon black claws. Xander's eyes bugged. 

Thorn opened her jaws and roared, the force of the noise knocking Xander to the ground. She advanced on him, her knees back-hinging with a crack of metamorphosing bone. 

"Holee..." Xander tried to scramble to his feet but slipped on the slick pavement. Desperately, he crab-crawled back away from the vampire to the mouth of the alleyway. She continued to advance on him at a leisurely pace, a guttural, rumbling chuckle issuing from her gaping maw. 

"Yessss... " She hissed. "Rrrun, little man.... It makesss the kill all the sssweeterrrr..." 

Xander's mind was awash with panic. He knew he was supposed to do *some*thing... But what? Under their own volition, his hands shot into the inside pocket of his jacket, pulling out a handful of small black grains. What the heck was he supposed to do...? 

The demon leaned over his prone form, dripping spittle onto his chest. 

"Yummmm.... " She licked her chops, forked tongue sliding across ivory fangs. "Time to die, Xanderrr Darrrling...." 

The sudden adrenaline surge finally cleared Xander's mind. He remembered! 

His arm swung out, flinging the tiny black grains across the alley. Thorn whipped her head around, tracking the granules' flight with a curious snort. 

"Know what those are, Dachi-honey? Poppy seeds... Enjoy!" 

He scrambled to his feet as the vampire howled her frustration, lunging face down to the pavement, her talons scrabbling at the tiny black seeds. Xander backed away to the edge of the alley, panting and clutching his chest. 

"Wow... It worked... She's compelled to count the seeds, just like Willow said she would be..." He poked his head around the corner to the street. "Hey guys... now's the time for all good Slayerettes to come to the aid of their fellows... Hello?" The street seemed empty. He glanced back at the once-again humanoid vampiress, on her hands and knees in the alley. She was hissing and cursing in frustration. 

"Twenty-three... twenty-four... Arrgh! Human, you'll pay for this humiliation! Twenty-five..." Xander scratched the back of his head pensively. 

"To run, or not to run..." Hesitantly, he pulled the foot-long wooden stake out of his coat. Looked at it, looked at the prone vampire... "Oh come on... It couldn't be *this* easy..." 

He walked carefully up to the vampire, lifted the stake up over his head, and brought the sharpened table leg down as hard as he could. 

The stake sunk deep into the vampire's back, causing her to howl in agony. Her head whipped around, her eyes blazing. 

"THAT... HURT...!!!" She stood, ripped the stake straight through her torso, tossing it aside. 

"Right. Going now!" Xander hot-footed it out of the alleyway. 

After a block, he looked back. No sign of Thorn... She must still be counting seeds... He slowed to a stop, breath coming in gasps. 

"Well, *I* made it... Where the hell are the others? They were supposed to be waiting at the alley mouth..." * * * Right at that moment, the others were pinned down behind the stage door by three domestic vamps and Xian-Pu standing between them and the van. Hammerlike blows rained down on the steel firedoor that was all that stood between the three humans and the vampires. 

"Aw, man..." Ranma grumbled. "This is *not* going according to plan... how'm I supposed to take 'em out if I can't even reach 'em..." 

"Look at it this way, Ranma..." Oz breathed, his back to the door. "They can't get to us either..." 

A heavy pounding cut off whatever Ranma's reply might have been. Willow checked her watch. 

"This is no good! We were supposed to meet Xander two minutes ago... He could be in real trouble, guys!" Ranma sighed. 

"All right... We're gonna have to break out of here... Willow, get the stakes ready. There's three goons directly outside... We need to take them out quickly, then I can engage Sham- er, Xian-Pu. Oz, while Willow and I cover you, make for the van. Got it?" 

The others nodded. 

Willow closed her eyes, and three sharpened wooden shafts rose out of the open dufflebag, hovering in mid-air. 

"Ready..." Ranma and Oz exchanged nods. 

"Here we go..." 

She stood and delivered a devastating spinning side kick to the steel door, blowing it off its hinges and the goons onto their backs. Within seconds, though, the three goons had thrown the dented door off and were in the doorframe, snarling and reaching for the trio. In the space of a heartbeat they were dust, Willow's stakes plunged through their chests. 

"Gogogo!!" Ranma yelled, taking the point, scanning the alley for Xian-Pu as Oz made for the van and Willow ducked back behind the doorframe. 

"Ranma! You've come out to play! How wonderful!" Xian-Pu landed lightly on the ground between Ranma and the van, her eyes glowing a flaming orange. A seductive smile crossed her face, showing fangs. "Too bad your little friend had to dispose of my helpers, but..." She shrugged. "It is no bother. Come to me, my love... let us embrace..." 

The light in her eyes pulsed, and Ranma felt the weight of Xian-Pu's will strike her like a wave. Unwillingly, she took a step forward. 

"That's it, my lover... come to my arms. It's been so very long for us, hasn't it?" She held out her hands, beckoning. 

Under the influence of Xian-Pu's mesmerism, Ranma's mind felt like it was enveloped in a fog... Xian-Pu came closer, unhurried, as she continued to weave her hypnotic web ever tighter around her erstwhile love. 

"It's okay, Ranma-Airen... I am here for you... I know you're tired of running, tired of fighting... I can give you peace..." 

Languorously, she draped her arms over Ranma's shoulders, leaning down to whisper in her ear, slipping into the sing-song speech pattern of her mortal life. 

"Shampoo loves her Airen... Doesn't Ranma love Shampoo...?" 

"Sh-Shampoo...? What's..." 

Ranma's eyes glazed as the compulsion locked down. Xian-Pu's mouth opened, fangs sliding into place. Gently, she began to kiss Ranma's ear, moving slowly down the neck towards the jugular vein. Between kisses, she murmured into her ear... 

"Join me, Airen... Stupid Mousse would have no chance against us... Shampoo could be yours again, forever..." 

Ranma's slack lips managed to form a word. 

"F'rever...?" 

"Ranma! Snap out of it! She's not the girl you knew! Remember what she's done!" Willow called out. Xian-Pu snarled, her gaze shifting to Willow. 

"Stupid girl! Stay out of this!" The momentary lapse of concentration cost her, as Ranma broke free of the compulsion and staggered back, her head clearing. 

"Hunh? Wha... Xian-Pu!" Her eyes locked on the vampiress, her battle aura flaring. "How DARE you?! You're NOT Shampoo! You're just some monster wearing her skin!!" 

She charged forward, the Amaguriken strike flying. Xian-Pu flipped out of the way, slipping around behind Ranma's back. Her eyes glowed as she attempted to re-establish her psionic hold. 

"Ranma-Airen..." She cooed. "Why you want to hurt Shampoo? All she wants to do is love you always..." 

Ranma spun, eyes mad with rage and grief. 

"YOU'RE NOT HER! SHE'S GONE!! YOU KILLED HER!!!" Almost too fast to see, she fired off a series of Amaguriken-fuelled kicks to Xian-Pu's midsection, sending the Chinese vampire flying through the brick wall of the alley. 

Xian-Pu found her feet with a hiss, snapping her body around and clambering out of the hole. The unnatural light in her eyes flared again as she advanced on Ranma. 

"No, I didn't..." She said, her voice losing the child-like quality and gaining a steely undertone. "YOU did... Shampoo is no more because YOU didn't love her enough to protect her from Mu-Tsu... YOU failed her, just as you failed her Great-Grandmother and the Tendou woman... Now, there is only Xian-Pu..." 

Violet fur sprouted from her pale skin as her features took on a distinctly feline cast, her voice becoming a low growl. 

"... But Xian-Pu still wants you, Airen..." 

Her face and form shifted, long manicured nails becoming claws, irises narrowing into slits, her mouth becoming a bestial muzzle. 

Ranma flipped out of her way, dodging the attack easily. Xian-Pu landed on all fours, her transformation completing itself as she became a violet-furred panther with molten golden eyes. She roared in frustration, crouching to pounce once more. Ranma struggled to regain her composure... 

"C-c-cats... Why does it always have to be cats?" She fought to contain her petrifying ailurophobia, to withstand the urge to bolt and run. Remember the plan! She forced herself to focus on the two new friends who needed her, needed protection from the monster. Forcing the vampire's words out of her mind for the moment, she concentrated on her earlier fury at this creature that had destroyed his beautiful friend... She felt her rage build, her battle aura flaring hot. 

"Xian-Pu! You want me, come and get me, you bitch!" 

The panther roared, leaping at Ranma, barely overshooting her mark as her claws tore strips out of Ranma's borrowed shirt. Ranma ducked to the left, Ki flames leaping from her body. 

"What's the matter, kitty? Can't catch one puny little human? C'mon! Come at me!" Ranma fought hard to keep the quaver out of her voice. The vampire cat roared, tossing her head. The phosphorescent eyes of the great cat flared and she pounced again. Ranma dodged the attack as nimbly as before, drawing the cat deeper into a spiral pattern. It took everything Ranma had to keep from losing her focus and running screaming from the demonic feline. Gotta stay angry! Gotta stay angry! Just a monster, not a cat! Just a monster, not a cat... 

Oz reached the van, throwing open the door and starting the engine with a heavy foot on the gas. The big vehicle squealed away from the kerb, hurtling towards the alley door where Willow crouched. He pulled up with a screech of overtaxed brakes, flinging open the passenger side door. 

"Wil! Get in!" She dove into the van, slamming the door behind herself as Oz kicked the van into reverse, squealing back the way he came. 

"How's she doin'?" Oz called back to Willow over his shoulder as he attempted to navigate the trash-filled alley. 

"It was getting pretty freaky for a moment, but it's looking good now... She's drawing Xian-Pu into the spiral... We can't stick around to watch, we've gotta meet Xander around the other side..." The van peeled out onto the street, hurtling around the block. 

Back in the alley, Ranma continued to lead the panther deeper into a contracting spiral, letting the heat of her anger flare. 

Soon the two combatants were nothing more than a red and purple blur, whirling closer and closer. Within seconds, they had reached the center. At the last possible moment, Ranma threw one superheated punch at the vampire... 

"Hiryuu Shoten Ha Reversed!" She cried, as the hot energy of her Ki struck the deathly cold aura of the vampire with a noise like a dozen thunderclaps. A Ki-fuelled tornado sprung up from the point of impact, the luminous bands of energy coruscating as they picked up the undead cat and sent it hurtling end over end, howling almost louder than the winds over the horizon. 

Ranma slumped to her knees in the now-silent alley. 

"I did it... " * * * Joyce heard a sound like thunder echo outside. She changed course, running for the front doors. Her face to the glass, she squinted out into the night. Was that a... tornado? 

She could see the tail of the whirlwind rise back up into the clouds, the whole thing lit up and sparking like a fireworks display. Joyce swallowed hard. 

"Buffy...?" 

She flung open the door, charging out into the night. * * * Inside the guard office, Mu-Tsu also heard the thunderclap. 

"Saotome.... " The word was a curse on his lips. 

Best to hurry, he thought. The sooner the mirror is in my possession, the sooner Saotome ceases to be a threat to my plans... Dessert can wait. 

He retracted his claws, dropping silently to the floor. He raised his head, using his vampiric senses to probe outwards. The human had left... 

Carefully, he opened the door, peering out into the darkened museum. 

Now what did the brochure say? The Anderson gallery? * * * Buffy and Akane, at the edge of the museum grounds, both jumped almost a foot in the air when the sound hit. 

"What the heck was that...?" Buffy breathed, watching the spiralling energy rise up into the clouds. Akane stared, awestruck. 

"It looks like... The Hiryuu Shoten Ha!" 

"Hooziwhatzit?" 

"One of Ranma's Ki techniques... But it's incredibly dangerous! She wouldn't use it unless she was in real trouble!!" 

"Well, we'd better get over there! Never mind the mirror now..." 

The two took off at a run, almost tripping over Joyce as she came whipping around the corner. 

"Buffy! Akane!" 

"Mom!" Joyce grabbed Buffy, hugging her close. 

"When I saw that... thing in the sky, I thought it had to be you..." she released her daughter, smiled affectionately at Akane. "Well, thank goodness you're both all right..." 

"Mrs. Summers, I'm afraid that the same can't be said for Ranma! That has to be her at the centre of the blast, I just know it!" Akane said, a tremor of fear creeping into her voice. Buffy nodded in agreement. 

"Yeah, Mom. We've gotta go... Willow and Xander were with her..." A worried look crossed Joyce's face. She nodded. 

"All right. You two come with me. I need to give my keys to Harry then I'll drive you downtown..." 

"Mom, we really don't have a lot of time..." 

"Two seconds, Buffy. That's all." 

Buffy nodded, following close behind her mother, Akane bringing up the rear. * * * Mu-Tsu slunk through the darkened museum from gallery to gallery... There were quite a few objects on display that he wouldn't have minded taking back to the lair, both for decorating and other purposes, but he wasn't on a shopping trip. The mirror was what he was here for... Eventually, he found it, nestled securely in its locked display case. 

"Finally! It's mine! Mine, mine, mine..." He did a small jig, before restraining himself and clearing his throat. "Ahem. Well... I expect this is probably locked...Oh well..." 

Morphing a fist into a fleshy club, he brought it down hard on the case, shattering the glass and setting off the alarm klaxon. 

Shrugging, he slipped the mirror into an interior pocket of his shirt. He'd be out of here long before any authorities arrived... * * * Buffy, Joyce and Akane opened the door of the guard office, glancing briefly around before their eyes alit on the crumpled body of Harry the guard. Joyce gave a small shriek, while Akane and Buffy merely rushed forward to check for a pulse. 

"He's dead..." Buffy rolled the corpse over, revealing the puncture wounds in the neck. "Vamp got him." 

At that moment, the alarm went off. Akane and Buffy exchanged glances. 

"Terrific. Mom, you should get out of here..." 

"Buffy, I can't just-" 

"Mom! Don't argue with me! This is my job, remember? That alarm will bring the police, right?" Joyce nodded, still worried. "Well, then go outside and wait! We won't be long..." 

"Please Mrs. Summers, we MUST make sure the mirror is all right!" Akane said pleadingly, glancing towards the door frantically. 

"All.. All right. Just, take care, you two, okay?" 

Both girls nodded, before dashing out the door. 

* * * Mu-Tsu glanced around, looking for the nearest window. 

"Freeze, Vampire!" He spun, snarling, eyes flaring green sparks behind his round sunglasses. 

Buffy and Akane faced him across the gallery floor. Akane held a spirit ward in each hand, Buffy brandishing Mr. Pointy. 

"Slayers!" He turned the word into a curse. "A two-for-one special no less!" 

Akane spared a glance at the smashed display case. 

"It's Mu-Tsu! And he's got the mirror, Buffy!" 

"We'll just have to get it back, then. C'mon!" 

The two girls circled outwards warily, trying to hem in the Chinese vamp. "Oh, ho... I see you know why I'm here... Well, I don't see why I can't eat *then* run..." He extended his arms, hands morphing into gigantic claws as they left his sleeves. His chest expanded, filling the baggy shirt to bursting, corded muscles standing out on his neck. His hair flew wildly behind him, as though independently animated. He opened his mouth, transforming teeth into snake-like fangs. Shaking his head like a beast, he roared, the guttural sound echoing across the gallery. 

"Whoa... I've never seen a vamp do *that*..." Buffy breathed, a little taken aback before finding her resolve. She dove forward into a roll, snapping her arm forward, flinging the stake at the transformed Mu-Tsu. It sailed straight towards its target, only to be intercepted by one of Mu-Tsu's deceptively clumsy-looking talons. 

"You expect to hurt me with *this* pathetic little toy? Tsk..." He brought the wooden shaft to his mouth, biting the stake in two. "Typical American... Overconfident *and* stupid..." 

"Hey! That was my favorite stake!" She produced three more from the inside of her jacket, throwing each in rapid succession as she dove towards the vampire. He caught all three, but by then she was inside his guard. He gave a grunt of surprise as Buffy delivered a blinding series of strikes to his chest and head, sending him reeling. Pressing her advantage, she lashed out with a straight uppercut kick to Mu-Tsu's jaw. It failed to connect. Her reach overextended, Mu-Tsu caught her ankle easily, picking her up and sending her flying through several display cases across the room, where she impacted head-first against the wall. 

"Buffy!" Akane yelled, before turning and rushing in turn at Mu-Tsu's monstrously distorted form, flinging flurries of Shinto spirit wards like shuriken. The vampire leapt straight up, dodging the wards, and flung out his arms, each talon-finger becoming a cable of sharpened flesh hurtling towards the Japanese Slayer. With difficulty, she avoided the whip-like tendrils, somersaulting and flipping across the room. 

Several display cases shattered into flinders as the cables struck them. 

"This is no good, Buffy! We can't take him like this!! Use your sword!" 

Buffy, head spinning from the impact into the wall, tried to comply. She fought her incipient concussion and closed her eyes. Despite her dizziness, she found her center easily. 

Akane's right! She thought, her head clearing as the energy coursed through her frame. This *is* easier the second time around! 

With a flare of Ki energy, the glowing rapier appeared in Buffy's hand. Lifting the weapon, she leapt back across the room using a strength and agility she didn't know she possessed. 

"Oh, so? Back for more, are you?" Mu-Tsu snarled. He flung a sharpened tentacle at the petite blonde, aiming to impale her lithe form on the end. 

With a flick of her wrist, Buffy sliced the appendage off before it could penetrate. Mu-Tsu howled in agony. Hissing and spitting, he retracted the remaining tendrils up his sleeve. 

"You... !! No one hurts me!!" He reared back his head and howled, shattering all the windows in the wing with the force of the sound, blowing the Slayers off their feet. 

Buffy clambered to her feet and ran over to Akane, forming up back to back. 

"*That* got his attention... So now what do we do? We can't just hack him to bits, it'll take forever!" Akane nodded, her breath coming hard. Her eyes narrowed. 

"We can't hope to beat him like this... not us, not yet... we just need to get the mirror back..." She scanned the room. Looking up, she inhaled sharply. "Look, this is a long shot, but... can you keep him busy for a moment? I have an idea that might work...." 

Buffy nodded, straightening. 

"All right, ugly..." She looked Mu-Tsu straight in the eye. "Let's dance..." 

Mu-Tsu snarled in response as Buffy rushed across the ruined hall towards his monstrous form, soul-sword held high. 

Throwing his arms forward, he shot out dozens of weapon-tentacles at incredible speed. Bobbing and weaving, sword flashing, Buffy moved through the forest of limbs like a bullet until she was once more within his guard. 

Roaring and snapping at her with hyperextended mandible-like teeth, Mu-Tsu forced her backwards, forcing her to use all her skill simply to stay out of his way. 

"Whatever you're doing, Akane..." She called out, parrying another attack. "Do it fast..." 

Akane stood stock still, head bowed, arms at her sides, hand clutched into trembling fists. Yellow Ki energy flared out from her in waves, licking higher and higher like a pillar of flames. It surged upwards as she snapped her eyes open, locking gazes with the furiously shapeshifting vampire through a veil of tears. 

"Buffy! Out of the way! Now!!!" Buffy sideflipped instantly, leaving a clear path between Akane and Mu-Tsu. The vampire's eyes widened behind his dark lenses as he saw the Japanese girl facing him. Akane's voice was a whisper, a sob, but carried easily across the hall. 

"...This is for Kasumi, you undead son of a bitch..." 

The Ki energy flared, shooting across the distance like a thing alive. It ripped into the vampire like a firestorm, picking it up and blasting it into the stone walls of the gallery like a bug on a windshield. The golden light seared the undead metamorph's flesh like sunlight until Mu-Tsu was a howling pillar of flames, ropey pseudopodia of vampiric flesh flailing in agony. 

Mu-Tsu screamed, his howls merging with the roaring of the flames. "YOU... CAN'T STOP... ME... SO... EASILY!!!!" 

The flaming thing stepped forward like a living bonfire, a blazing claw shooting towards Akane's prone form. Buffy, in a split second reaction, leapt across the floor in a roll, grabbing Akane and dodging the living firebrand... 

The sprinklers kicked in. 

The vampire disappeared in a cloud of steam that rapidly filled the room. The howling ceased, to be replaced with the steady hiss of water raining down from the ceiling. 

When the steam cleared, Buffy opened her eyes hesitantly... The gallery was a shambles. The sounds of approaching sirens could be faintly heard, growing louder. 

"Akane?!" Buffy whispered. The insensate girl didn't respond. "Akane! Wake up! C'mon, girl, wake up!" She shook her roughly, stopping when the Japanese girl moaned. 

"Uhnn... Did we get him?" She opened her eyes slowly, groaning. 

"I guess so... I lost sight of him when the sprinkler system turned on... What the hell did you do?!" 

"Gyokusai . . . Yurushi . . .Tenmou." Akane stared grimly at the charred and blasted section of the museum. "Beyond Death, Without Mercy, Without Forgiveness . . . Heaven's Vengeance." 

Buffy shivered at the cold rage in Akane's voice as Willow's translation spell rendered the words literal meaning to her. 

Akane stood unsteadily, with a little help from Buffy. She looked around walking slowly forward. She looked up at the broken windows, down at the ground. Crouching, she picked up a small object. 

One white feather. 

"He got away..." 

She dropped the feather, walking forward with a little more strength until she stood under the scorched outline of the Mu-Tsu thing burned onto the wall by her blast. Stooping, she picked the blackened form of the mirror off the floor. A small smile broke across her features. 

"At least, we got it back... maybe now we can make things right..." 

************************************* Well folks, that's it for episode two. Roll the closing credits as Nerf Herder plays in the background... 

Thanks heaps to everyone who took the time to vote for ATVS Episode One in the Best of Ranma Fanfic Awards. As far as I'm concerned, you're all official members of Akane's Slayerette Squad. You like me! You really like me!!! 

Thanks also to the ATVS pre-reading team for helping this rough beast lurch towards Babylon to be born. If you want to join their august ranks, send me an e-mail to the addresses above or below. 

A special thanks to Angela for the rilly, rilly kewl fanart she sent me. More special thanks to Talen, for hours of frustrating, yet always informative, discussion. 

Thanks as well to Allyn for the scathingly ruthless C+C. The fic is much the better for it. 

Incidentally, if anyone out there knows of a Buffy Fanfic site that might post this strange-ass fic, let me know... 

NEXT TIME: The gang decides what to do with the time-travel mirror, Mu-Tsu and Xian-Pu lick their wounds and regroup, and three visitors arrive from overseas... but are they here to help or hinder our heroes? Tune in next time to find out.... 

Send all C+C to (catthouse@lweb.net) or (leapinggnome@hotmail.com) All comments (even >sob< negative ones) are greatly appreciated, nay, demanded, and I promise to write you back! 


	3. Default Chapter Title

AKANE THE VAMPIRE SLAYER/ KYUUKETSUKI NO SATSUJINHA'NIN AKANE EPISODE THREE A Ranma 1/2-BTVS X-Over by Leaping Gnome Productions 

DISCLAIMER: The Buffy and Ranma characters are copyright Joss Whedon and Rumiko Takahashi respectively and are used here without permission but with great respect and admiration. 

CONTINUITY WATCH: This fic is set between seasons three and four of BTVS, and an alternate Ranma 1/2 timeline diverging from the Anime continuity at some point before Ranma and Akane's attempted wedding. 

LAST TIME, ON AKANE THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: There's a new Slayer in Sunnydale and her name is Akane Tendou, a Japanese martial artist who has been Called to replace Faith. Along with her fiancee, Ranma Saotome, (a young man cursed to turn into a girl when hit with cold water,) and her Watcher, Dr. Tofu Ono, she has arrived in Sunnydale to learn at the feet of Buffy Summers, the first Slayer of her generation. Unfortunately, Akane's been followed by Mu-Tsu, Xian-Pu and their minions, Chinese vampires who are responsible for the destruction of the Tendou family Dojo and the deaths of several of Akane's friends and family. 

While Ranma, Willow, Xander and Oz tried to escape the clutches of Xian-Pu and her minions at the Bronze, Akane and Buffy fought an all-out battle at the Sunnydale Museum of Natural History to prevent Mu-Tsu from getting his hands on the Nanban Mirror, a magical device that can take its wielder anywhere in time or space. The vampires were driven off, leaving our heroes in possession of the Nanban and their lives. Now, it's three weeks later, and things are about to heat up all over again... IN EVERY GENERATION, THERE IS A CHOSEN ONE.... 

The young Japanese woman stared up at the electronic sign over the departures gate and dropped her bag with a curse. Quantas Flight 454 still hadn't arrived. 

"Delayed again?! This is ridiculous." Ukyou Kuonjii grumbled in her cute Kansai accent. "At this rate, I'll never get to the U.S. ... All right Konatsu, I guess this means we have time to go over your duties again..." 

The very convincing transvestite in geisha finery beside her sighed. 

"It's all right, Ukyou-sama. Ucchan's Okonomiyaki will be in very good hands while you are away... I have managed the restaurant before, you know..." 

"I know, Konatsu, I know... Just never for this long... You'll remember to wash and scrape the grill?" 

"Every day, and twice Saturdays..." Kontasu replied. He never thought he'd say it, but he couldn't wait for Ukyou to go away. In the three weeks since Ranma had left for America, his beloved Ukyou had become a trial to be around... Konatsu knew that though he loved the girl, he had a hard time *liking* her when she nagged him like this. 

"And who gets free okonomiyaki?" 

"Soun Tendou, Nabiki Tendou and Nodoka Saotome. Never Genma..." 

"Right." Ukyou sighed, sitting down on top of her carry-on bag. "I'm sorry Konatsu, I'm just a little nervous..." She patted the pocket of her light jacket, frowned, and began frantically digging through her pockets. "My passport! My visa! Where's my passport and visa?! I forgot them! Konatsu-" 

"I've got them right here, Ukyou-sama... You gave them to me to hold while you checked your luggage, remember?" He handed them over. Ukyou clutched at the documents gratefully. 

"Thanks... Konatsu, I don't know what I'm gonna do without you... You've been so great about this whole thing..." Konatsu smiled softly. 

"You know i'll do anything for you, Ukyou-sama..." Even let you go, he added silently. 

Several thousand miles away, in Sunnydale... 

Willow knocked lightly on the door of Dr. Tofu's small flat, swinging her overloaded knapsack off her shoulder with a sigh. When she'd agreed to help out Giles and Dr. Tofu with their "project", she hadn't realized it would involve this much drudge work. She loved research, and magic, and all the neat things she'd gotten to do since she met Buffy. Going over four hundred scrolls in archaic Japanese in search of information about the Naniban Mirror, however, was beginning to bore even the former study hall queen of Sunnydale High. At least today all they'd needed was one of Ms. Calendar's old disks... 

A bright light flashed under the doorframe, and Willow heard stumbling footsteps on the other side of the door. She knocked again, lightly. 

The door swung open, revealing the dishevelled form of Tofu Ono. He was wearing his black gi, and it looked like he hadn't been sleeping... or shaving... for a few days. 

"Ah, Willow... We were supposed to be doing something today, weren't we?" 

"Er... Yeah, I found the disk you were looking for... Is this a bad time? Should I come back later?" She eyed his unkempt form uncomfortably. 

"Not at all... Please come in. Forgive my appearance, I haven't been sleeping well. Here, let me take your bag.." 

"Oh, thank you..." She glanced around the small apartment. 

"Would you like some tea? I've a pot brewing..." 

"Tea would be a good thing." Willow smiled, sitting down on the couch. Tofu wandered into the kitchen, and set about pouring her a cuppa. 

"I've asked Xander to join us a little later. I wanted to talk to him about Anya, his demoness aquaintance..." He re- entered the living room, two mugs in hand. Willow accepted hers gratefully. 

"Thanks... Why do you want to know about Anya?" 

"I thought it might help us regarding the Nanban situation. According to what you've told me, she was responsible for the creation of an alternate timeline wherein Xander and yourself were vampires, na?" 

Willow nodded, eyes wide. She'd met her vampire counterpart, and she'd been... well, more than a little scary, on more than one level... 

"Anya's... nice, I guess. As far as demons go, anyway. She took off before graduation though. I don't know if she'd help us, or if she even could anymore, since she's human these days..." 

"I'm not so much concerned with whether she'd actually help us or not. Rather, I'm interested in what we can learn from that experience. If we are to meddle with time, I'd like to be armed with as much information as possible..." 

"Oh! before I forget, here's Ms. Calendar's spellbook. Or, spell-disk, I guess..." She passed him a nondescript recordable CD. "Why did you need this again?" 

"Information, Willow. I have in mind a particular..." 

Xander's distinctive shave-and-a-haircut knock interrupted him. 

"Come in!" Tofu called, letting the matter drop. Xander opened the door and came in, blinking at the light change. 

"Hey, you wacky kids!" He plunked himself down next to Willow on the couch. "How's my favorite Sabrina?" 

"Fine." She smiled. "How's my favorite samurai-in-training?" 

"Oh, you just had to bring *that* up, didn't you? Not so good... See this?" He lifted up his bangs, displaying a gauze pad. "Almost put my eye out with the end of a bo staff. Six stitches. I don't think i'd be out of line here if I said I SUCK!!" Willow gave a little jump at his yell. "But, oh no, I'm not bitter..." 

"O-kay..." 

Dr. Tofu blinked twice, then cleared his throat. 

"Ahem. Well, that's too bad, Xander... Shall we get down to business, then?" 

"No problem. Never mind *my* pain... So you want to know all about Anya, hmm? Well, she's an ex-demon, she was my prom date..." 

"Anything *else* you can tell us?" 

"Nope, that's about it. Why do you want to know? If it's failed relationships you wanna know about, I can go into depth about Cordelia Chase... Ah, now *there's* a fertile field for depressing anecdotes..." 

"Was Cordelia a demon?" Tofu asked innocently. 

"Debatable..." Xander answered. Willow tsked. 

"Hey, come on Wil... You can't just hand me a straight line like that and expect me not to use it... Okay, no, she's not a demon... exactly." 

"Well then I can't see how recounting 'depressing anecdotes' about her will help." Tofu looked frustrated. 

"It'd help *me*... They say venting is good..." He sighed and got up, poking around the room. "So where is that mirror doo- hickey, anyway?" 

"It's over there on the desk..." Tofu said, rubbing his temples. "*Please* be careful with it, it's irreplaceable..." 

Xander gently picked up the Nanban, giving it a quick once- over. 

"Doesn't look like much... Hey Doc, didn't you say that you knew the guy who owned this?" 

"Happousai. Yes, I knew him briefly..." 

"Happousai, huh? Sounds like a- Ye-ow!" He dropped the mirror like it was on fire. It hit the carpeted floor and bounced once, before landing safely face down. "Oww! Damn thing zapped me!" He stuck his hands under his armpits and did a little ouch-ouch dance. Tofu rushed over to examine the mirror. Mercifully, it was unharmed. Tofu stood, his eyes wild. 

"You little idiot! You could have broken it! Get out!!" 

"Whoa! Hold on there... It was an accident!" 

"Dr. Tofu, please..." Willow said worriedly, attempting to defuse the situation. 

"Get out, both of you! Now!!" He bellowed, furious. 

"Okay, okay... geez, talk about overreacting..." Xander stormed out, Willow quick on his heels. She caught sight of him at the end of the block. 

"Xander, wait up!" He paused, waiting for her to catch up. 

"What a jerk! It was only an accident, for cryin' out loud." 

"I know, he had no right to yell at us like that... Are you okay? Let me see your hands..." 

"It's nothing, Wil, just a little shock off the carpet, I guess..." He held out his hands. They were unblemished. "See? they're all right... Which is more than I can say about *that* dillweed. Even that Wesley dork was never that rude... Beats the hell out of me why Ranma and Akane think he's such hot stuff." 

"I don't know... He's always been nice to me... until this week. He's been wigging out a lot..." 

"Well, you're welcome to him... You coming to watch Ranma beat the stuffing out of me, or have you had your fill of Xander- humiliation today?" 

"Oh, I *never* get tired of that..." She said teasingly. He merely hmmphed in response. "Aw, c'mon, cheer up. I tease 'cause I love..." She nudged him playfully. "Besides, I need to speak to Ranma about a spell I've been working on for him. I've had *way* too much time on my hands since Oz and the band went on tour..." 

At that moment, in Oceanview Park, Buffy was finishing up her daily training session with Akane and Ranma. For the first time since her first session with Akane, she felt she was making progress. It was a lot different, she reflected, than training under Giles. For one thing, she actually looked forward to her sessions with the Japanese couple, despite their constant bickering and fits of depression. Whereas under Giles, she had to settle for practicing with speedbags and gloves, with Akane and Ranma she was not only sparring against real people, they were real people who were considerably better fighters... And the methods they used were fun in and of themselves. She'd spent the last three lessons playing a game of tag in the park against Akane and Ranma. To win, all she had to do was catch them. It had been frustratingly impossible, until she'd stopped being so stubborn and followed Ranma's advice and started using her Ki. Once she'd done that, she found that she could run farther, move faster, leap higher... What really amazed her was just how easily she did it. If you had told her, a month ago, that she'd be jumping across rooftops or over trees like some kind of super-hero, she'd have thought you were nuts... And now? Today, for the first time, she'd tagged Ranma. For all of five seconds, she wasn't "it." Of course, she'd tagged her right back and leapt off like a grasshopper on steroids, but still... 

With a happy sigh, Buffy finished her cool-down stretches and lay back on the grass, feeling the hot July sun on her face. Almost soundlessly, a female form alit next to her. 

"Grr.. G'wan, beat it, you're blocking my rays..." Buffy snarled playfully. Akane obliged her, sitting down with a giggle and stretched out alongside her. It was nice to see the Japanese girl in such a light-hearted mood for a change, Buffy reflected. Since they'd met, Buffy had been struck by the aura of sadness that hung over the younger girl. Maybe she was beginning to deal with her losses... 

"Did you have fun today?" Akane asked, putting her folded arms behind her head. 

"Finally got that sucker..." Buffy said dreamily. "Where is she, anyway?" 

"Right here, Buff." Buffy felt a tap on her shoulder. Inclining her head, she saw the Japanese redhead sitting nonchalantly behind her, chewing on a blade of grass. "Aha! An openin'!" She pinged Buffy off the forehead with a cheezy poof from the snack bag. 

"Hey! No fair! I'm resting here... How come I didn't hear you sit down?" 

"Ah, a little thing Pop taught me called the Umisenken... We'll get to it eventually... Good job today, by the way. You're really picking this stuff up quick..." 

"Mmm... Thanks. I've got good teachers..." 

The three friends settled down in a companionable silence for a good long bask in the afternoon sun. After a few minutes, Ranma stood, brushing the grass off her pants. She stretched once, and yawned. 

"Well, I'm for a shower. I got another lesson with Xander at five..." 

"Yeah, how's he coming along, anyway? He was so excited about this stuff, he cancelled his cross-country trip..." Buffy yawned, getting to her feet. 

"Err, not so good... He gets an 'A' for effort, but... I don't think he's really cut out for martial arts. But he wants to keep trying, so..." She shrugged. "So what are you two up to tonight?" She extended a hand to Akane, helping her to her feet. 

"Oh, girly-stuff, then patrolling. Why, you wanna ditch the lesson and come along?" 

"Can't. We're gonna need all the skilled help we can get when we use the Nanban... *If* Dr. Tofu ever decides it's safe... I can't understand why he's takin' so long to analyze it." 

"He probably wants to make sure we can do it right the first time. We don't want to accidentally make things worse than they already are..." Akane sighed. "It's just this enforced inactivity that's driving me crazy. We haven't heard a peep out of Mu-Tsu since that night at the museum. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop..." 

On the other side of the planet, Ukyou Kuonjii was stowing away her carry-on bag in the overhead rack of her flight. Sitting down, she exhaled loudly. The last delay had almost been too much for her.She'd almost bolted from the airport, but Konatsu... Konatsu! Had told her to wait it out. He really was a good friend, despite the annoying fact of his rather obvious crush on her... 

She slumped down into her seat. Ranchan... Only eight more hours, and she'd see him again. The idea made butterflies do arabesques in her stomach. On one hand, there was nothing she wanted more in the whole world than to be with him again... On the other, what would she say to him? He must be in a terrible way after the mess at the Tendou Dojo. What could she possible do or say that wouldn't cause him anymore pain? She sighed, looking out the window at the baggage handlers scrambling around on the tarmac. She had to get some sleep... She'd tossed and turned all night for two nights running, she was so nervous... She closed her eyes. 

By the time the captain turned on the 'fasten seatbelts' sign, Ukyou was fast asleep, a small smile on her face. The flight attendant tried to wake her, with little success. 

"Miss, miss? You have to fasten your seatbelt..." 

"Let her be. I'll take care of it," said the tall man in the charcoal grey double-breasted Armani suit. The flight attendant turned to speak to him, but one glance took her breath away. He's so handsome... no, she rephrased the thought, so *beautiful*! A cloud of dark hair framed his face, and his grey eyes seemed to bore right into her with an intensity that froze her in her tracks. So very few men could pull off earrings, but on him, they merely accentuated his Bishonen good looks... Privately, she hoped he wasn't gay... 

"It's fine sir. I can buckle her in... If you can return to your seat, i'll be pleased to buckle you in as well..." She added, a little flirtatiously. He looked a little startled at her offer, but recovered quickly. 

"Er, no, no, that's all right. I'm her seatmate, I'll take care of it..." 

He slid into his seat, completely oblivious to the disappointed look on the attendant's face. Reaching over, he carefully buckled the sleeping girl into her seat,before doing the same for himself. Easing back into his chair, he closed his eyes in turn. 

Where do I know this girl form? Rome? Beijing? Nerima..? Yes, that's it! Kuonjii-something. One of the cross-dresser's little friends. Just freakin' terrific... 

Less than five miles away from Oceanview park, in a deserted waterfront warehouse, another man and woman attempted to sleep. Without much success... 

"Nyyarrgh!! I'm itchy! Xian-Pu, can you reach between my shoulder blades?" Mu-Tsu flailed about like a dervish, shaking the bed with his frantic exertions. 

"Tsk. Husband, if you keep scratching your burns, they won't heal..." Xian-Pu murmured sleepily from her corner of the bed. 

"I don't care! They're driving me crazy! Damn that Tendou bitch! I'll-" 

"Yes, yes, I know... You'll carve out her eyeballs and feast on her living heart... I'm tired. Go to sleep, Husband." 

"If only I'd just fled with the Nanban... Aiyah, this itches!!!" He rubbed his back up and down the bedpost. That was the straw that broke the camel's back for Xian-Pu. 

"Husband! Get out! Go pester the minions! Thorn's been getting lonely, with no one but Hiroshi and Daisuke to play with..." She kicked him off the mattress, sending the other vampire sprawling to the floor. Her eyes flashing red, she pelted him with silk pillows. 

" Aww... Xian-Pu... You know she scares the piss out of me..." He said plaintively, sheilding his face from the pillow barrage. Xian-Pu rolled back over with a snort of derision. 

"Some master vampire you are... All right, I don't care *what* you do! Eat someone, play with Thorn, just let me sleep!!!" She buried her head beneath the pillow, seeking refuge from her husband's whinging. 

"Hmm... Eat someone... That's an idea... Is there anything in the larder?" 

Xian-Pu's reply was muffled by the pillow. 

"What was that?" 

"I said, YES! Now GO AWAY!!! Stupid Mu-Tsu..." 

"Yes, dear..." Mu-Tsu, master vampire of Sunnydale, destroyer of lives, ruthless killer, beat a hasty retreat from the wrath of his wife. 

Sulking, he made his way to the locked cell where they kept their "preserves". Choosing a red-haired girl who'd been cowering in the corner, he slung her over his shoulder and wandered over to his throne, intending to watch a little television. Though he steadfastly insisted he hated America, he'd become addicted, despite himself, to an American soap opera. Flicking on the set with the remote, he settled in to watch All My Children and nosh. 

Ten minutes later, in the middle of Erica's dramatic monologue, the televised talking head of Susan Lucci turned to face him. 

"Mu-Tsu! Why do you delay?! Fetch me the Mirror!!" She bellowed, in a very un-Lucci-like voice. 

"Erica...?" Mu-Tsu mumbled, perplexed 

"No, you imbecile! Why haven't you fulfilled our bargain?!!" 

"Master?" 

"Of course it's me! Now answer the question!!" Mu-Tsu looked around guiltily. 

"Uhm, there's a slight problem with that, Master..." 

"Of course there's a problem. There's always a problem!" The voice became a whining imitation of Mu-Tsu's own. "Master, I'm sorry, I couldn't kill the Slayer. Master, I'm sorry, there's a small delay with killing the Queen of the Springs..." The voice returned to its original timbre. "You're pathetic! To think I shared my power with a sad little tuft of rectal pubic hair like you... So what is it?!" 

"What's what?" Mu-Tsu answered, cringing. 

"The problem!!" Erica bellowed. "What's the delay?!!" 

"Oh, er... You see, the Tendou girl and the American Slayer... Well, they caught me by surprise..." 

"You shouldn't lie to me, Mu-Tsu..." 

"I'm not lying! Why should I lie?" 

"You have to be lying, because both the Tendou girl and the Summers wench ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD BY NOW!!!!!" Mu-Tsu fell off his chair. "Can't you follow even the simplest of instructions?! At least tell me that Saotome is dead... Tell me you haven't failed at *that* task as well..." 

"Ummmm...." 

"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!" 

"SorrySorrySorrySorrySorry..." 

"You have one more chance... ONE MORE CHANCE... Then I replace you with your lieutenant!!" 

"Yes, Master..." 

"*Don't* fail me again!!!!" 

"No, Master..." Mu-Tsu grovelled. 

Erica Kane's head resumed its normal dimensions and continued the rest of her monologue without further interruption, but Mu-Tsu couldn't concentrate. Tossing aside the drained corpse of the redhead, he began to pace the floor. 

In the gymnasium of Sunnydale Elementary, Willow watched on the sidelines as Ranma (now in male form, so as to better utilize his longer arm and leg reach) and Xander went through their warmup exercises on the wrestling mats. Recent experience had demonstrated the need for padding the walls as well, so large blue crash pads had been hauled out and placed against the front and back walls. Concrete was a lot less forgiving than the wood of the old Dojo... 

Watching them stretch, Willow was surprised to note exactly how limber her old friend was. He looked a lot better than his griping had led her to expect. She wasn't the only one who noticed the disparity. 

Ranma was shooting him quizzical looks out of the corner of his eye. Maybe some of the training is sinking in after all, he thought. Giving a mental shrug, he went over to the hockey bag and brought out two bo staves. 

"Okay, Xander. Today we'll be working on some more elements of staff fighting... First off, let's review what you've learned so far, all right?" 

"Sure, no problem. I even went out and bought a mask. No more head wounds for me..." He slid on the fencing mask, adjusting the straps until they were snug. "Ready..." Ranma tossed him a bo staff, which he caught easily. 

"All right. Run through positions one through five." 

Xander whipped through the katas, showing a style and perfection of forms that amazed Ranma. 

"Uh.. Very good... [Geez! He's picked that up awfully quick.] Let's try something a little more difficult..." 

Throughout the lesson, Xander continued to display ever- increasing levels of expertise with the bo. By the time six rolled around, they were well into discussing the principles of budo between blows... 

Ranma crouched down on the mat, his breathing coming heavily. 

This is ridiculous, he thought. No *way* did Xander get this good overnight! Is it me? Am I losing it? He stood, banishing the thought that had been tormenting him all-too frequently of late. A nasty smile crossed the Japanese boy's face. Well, let's just see how good he's gotten, then. I'll rush him! Won't go all out, of course, don't wanna hurt the guy... 

"Hey, Xander... Good workout, man... let's hit the showers." 

"Hunh? Six already? Man, time flies..." Xander said, removing his mask, his back to Ranma. 

Aha, thought Ranma. An opening! 

Ranma rushed at Xander's exposed back at full speed. The instant Ranma's foot hit the mat, Xander turned, a glint in his eye. 

"Hunh?" Ranma said, as Xander easily sidestepped Ranma's lunge and hooked the underside of his outstretched arm with the bo staff. The next thing Ranma knew, he was hurtling upwards as Xander flipped him straight up and through the roof with the flick of a wrist. 

"Whoa... Did I do that...?" Xander breathed, staring at the Ranma-shaped hole in the ceiling. Willow rushed over, a freaked- out expression on her face. 

"How the... What the heck... What *was* that? You said you sucked..." 

"I guess I don't..." Xander said absently, still staring at the hole. "Is he coming back down?" 

"I don't know..." Xander shook his head, as if he was trying to clear it. He turned to face Willow, wearing an odd look. 

"What? What's the matter, Xander?" Willow said, her eyes going wide as an unsettling smile passed over Xander's face. 

"I, uh... I..." His eyes travelled lower, settling on Willow's chest. "Sweet-o!" He lunged at her, arms outstretched. 

"Hunh?!" Willow said, stepping aside before Xander could grab her. "Xander, what are you doing?! Stop it! This is no time to be fooling around! We've gotta go help Ranma..." 

"Never mind him, he's no fun... Howzabouta hug, cutie?" 

"Xander!" She slapped him across the face, soundly. "Snap out of it! What's the matter with you?!" She yelled, shaken. 

Xander blinked once, then raised his hand to his face. 

"Wil...? Why'd you smack me?" He rubbed his cheek. 

"Because you were acting like a... Well, like a real weirdo... Don't be creepy..." 

"But I..." 

"Now c'mon! We've got to find Ranma..." She rushed out the door, leaving a stunned Xander in her wake. 

"What'd I do...?" 

On board Quantas Flight 454, Kuonjii Ukyou woke up to discover she had been nicely tucked in under a soft blanket and a pillow had been placed under her head. Looking around she noticed the black-haired man sitting next to her. She sat up with a start. 

"Hey! I know who you are! You're that Panty-, er, Tarou jerk!!" He turned to face her, a bored look on his features. 

"Nice save, Kuonjii. So, finally awake." Ukyou nodded, dumbfounded. 

"Well, how nice it is to finally meet you." He said brusquely. "Don't talk to me, don't touch me, don't even look at me, and we'll get along just fine for the duration of the flight. Got that?" 

"But..." 

"No buts, just yes or no. Understand me?" 

"Yes, but-" 

"Woman, are you deaf or just plain stupid?" 

"Look, you jackass! I need to get out to use the washroom!!" Ukyou said, perhaps a little too loudly. Other passengers were staring. Tarou sweatdropped, glancing around before standing up and stepping into the aisle, blushing furiously. Ukyou slipped past him, glaring daggers at the staring passengers before slamming the washroom door shut behind her. 

Spontaneous applause broke out as Tarou sat back down, his face scarlet. He grumbled under his breath. 

"Oh, sure, you laugh. I wonder how hard you'd be laughing if I tore this plane apart around your ears..." 

In the plane's washroom, Ukyou straightened her hair, splashed a little water on her face. When she was satisfied with her appearance, she sighed, and stared into the mirror. 

Pantyhose Tarou... What the hell is *he* doing here? Is he after Ranchan? Gotta find out... 

Composing herself, she opened the door and stepped back out into the aisle of the plane, ignoring the snickers of some of the other passengers. She made her way back to her seat. 

"Ahem..." She glared at Tarou, motioning him to move with a glance. He stood, scowling, and allowed her to sit. 

"So, Tarou... Why are you going to the U.S.? Gonna get a job in Hollywood acting in monster movies?" Tarou glared at her. 

"Hah! You mock me, but how do you think I paid for this trip? Or this suit? You're looking at the co-star of the Italian masterpiece 'Theseus and The Minotaur'..." 

"You starred in a sword-and-sandal movie? How'd they bill you on the marquee?" 

"P. Tarou, if you must know... Anyway, didn't I tell you not to talk to me?" 

"Yeah, but I'll risk it. You won't try anything on a plane..." She smirked. 

"What makes you think that? I *can* fly..." 

"But can you hide from INTERPOL the rest of your life if you destroy this plane? They're cracking down on terrorists these days...Imagine that. I wonder how a giant flying cow would do against tanks and fighter planes." She smiled cheerily. He scowled blackly. "So you're a movie star these days, are you? Well, good luck. How's your English?" 

"Probably better than yours, woman. And who said I was a movie star? It was just a quick way to pick up some spending cash." He sighed resignedly. "So long as I have to listen to you chatter, why don't you fill me in on why a Kansai hick like you is going to the U.S.? Taking a trip to Disneyland, are we?" 

"Not hardly. I'm opening a franchise of Ucchan's in Sunnydale, California." 

"Of course you are. You wouldn't be going there to visit that little sex-changing prick Saotome, would you?" 

"Ranchan's in Sunnydale? I had no idea..." 

"Hmph. *You're* no actor, that's for sure." 

"No more than you are. You're after Ranchan again!" 

"Don't be a fool. Saotome is a gnat. The only person I have business with is Mu-Tsu. That blind Nyanichiczu fool cost me my only hope of revenge on the old lech, Happousai." 

"Oh, so you'll be helping Ranchan then..." 

"Don't delude yourself. Tarou helps no one but Tarou." 

"Move. I need to use the telephone.." Ukyou stood, glaring fiercely at the Chinese fighter. 

"Calling your little she-male? Go ahead. Tell him if he gets in my way, I'll tear him apart. Slowly..." He stood, bowing melodramatically as she shouldered her way past him to the curtain separating their cabin from first class. He smirked nastily as he sat back down. 

Mu-Tsu *and* Saotome... This promises to be amusing... 

At the phone station in first class, Ukyou fumbled through her purse for the contact number Ranma had given her during their last phone conversation. Retrieving it, she tucked the handset in the crook of her neck and punched in her credit card number, followed by the 11-digit phone number. 

"C'mon c'mon c'mon... pick up..." 

With a click, the line was answered. A female voice speaking English with an American accent picked up. 

"Hello! You've reached the Summers residence... Joyce and Buffy can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message, we'll get back to you as soon as we can... BEEP!" 

"H-hello?" Ukyou stammered in accented English, before reflexively switching to her native Japanese. "This is the machine, right? Umm... This is a message for Ranma... Ranchan, it's me, Ucchan. I'm flying into Los Angeles tonight, I should be there by three a.m. local time. I have a connecting flight into Sunnydale at six, but... I don't know if you'll get this in time, but Pantyhose is on the plane with me! Please be careful, Ranchan... I... miss you, and-" The machine beeped, cutting her off. "Damn!" 

Meanwhile, in the backyard of the Johnsons, a nice couple who lived six blocks from Sunnydale Elementary, Mr. Johnson, (Sam to his friends,) was enjoying the brand new olympic-size pool he had put in just in time for summer. Floating serenely in an innertube and sipping a Pina Colada, he leaned back and closed his eyes while his wife, Flo, cooked burgers on the propane grill. He'd saved for two years straight, and now, finally, he had the pool of his dreams... 

"Ahh, this is the life... Hey Flo! You hear something?" 

"Like what, Sam?" She called back over her shoulder. 

"I dunno, sounds kinda like somebody yelling 'look out'..." 

He opened his eyes. 

"Holy Shi-" 

Sam never had a chance to finish his favorite expletive as the screaming Japanese boy hit the water with a titanic splash not one foot away from him, sending Sam, innertube, Pina Colada and all, into the air, across the fence and onto the neighbor's satellite dish. 

Flo stood stunned as a red-headed Japanese girl surfaced with a gasp, clambered out of the pool, and leapt off over the rooftops of the quiet suburb. Sam was equally dumbstruck. Underneath him, he heard the patio door slide open. 

"Hey Johnson!" A voice called up. 

"What?" 

"What the hell are you doin' on my dish? I was watchin' the game!!" 

"Who's winning?" 

"The Dodgers, three to two. Why, you wanna come in, have a beer?" 

"Sure, why not..." 

Ranma was in a bad way as she leapt from rooftop to rooftop back towards the gym. 

Damn! What the hell just happened there?! No *way* is Xander good enough to do that to me! I might be a good sensei, but I ain't *that* good. Only person who's ever been able to do that to me's dead... 

She nimbly hurdled a string of power lines, dashing across the glass skylight of the Sunnydale Galleria before leaping down onto the parkade. She froze as the thoughts that had been haunting her for the past month surfaced again. 

Unless... Maybe I was right... Maybe I *have* lost it. After all, I couldn't save Kasumi, or Shampoo, or Kodachi, or the Old Ghou- Kuh-Lohn, even the old freak... He didn't deserve *that*... Damn Mousse anyway, why the hell did he hafta... Tears welled up in Ranma's eyes. 

Dammit, no! I ain't gonna go to pieces! Like Mom says, a man don't cry... She squeezed her eyes shut, staunching the flow of tears. With a snarl of anger, (whether at himself or at Mu-Tsu, she didn't know), Ranma wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her gi. The heir of the Saotome School of Indiscriminate Grappling does not cry like a little girl! I'm a man! I'm a man! Despite her shuttered eyes, the tears began to trickle once more. 

"I'm a man..." She whispered, the sound a choked sob. 

Dr. Tofu sat on the couch in his flat, the Naniban clutched in his hands. He sighed, his shoulders slumping as he looked at his reflection in the cracked mirror. The face of a wild-eyed stranger stared back at him accusingly. 

"Look at you! You're falling to pieces!" His own voice echoed in his head. "You're a waste! A failure! No wonder you can't stop the monsters! No wonder you can't save Kasumi-chan! You are a disgrace to the Tofu School! A disgrace to your calling as a Watcher!" 

With a sob, he flung the mirror down on the cushion next to him. He collapsed backwards, his reddened eyes staring upwards as if pleading to the Kami for strength. Finally, he stood, straightened his black gi. He walked to the small closet in his bedroom and pulled out his black housecall bag. Reaching inside, he assured himself that his tools were within. The wards, the phials of greek fire, the small bag of poppy seeds, all almost depleted now... He shut the bag with a snap. 

Returning to the living room, bag in hand, he picked up the Naniban once more. 

"Time to try again... And again... For as long as it takes..." 

Tears welled up in his eyes once more, and this time he let them fall onto the silvery surface of the mirror. 

As soon as the salty droplets touched the artifact, it began to glow from within with the brilliance of the sun. 

"Take me back to the battle at the Tendou Dojo... Again." 

He disappeared in a flash of light. 

Two minutes passed, the apartment as silent as a tomb. 

With a second flash of brilliant light, Dr. Tofu reappeared, his clothing torn and stained with blood, a rapidly darkening bruise swelling his right eye shut. 

"CHIKUSO!!!!!" 

He flung his now-empty bag across the room in a fit of rage before collapsing to the floor in grief. 

"C'mon, Xander! Hurry up!" Willow called back to her friend as she ran down the street. She glanced upwards, trying to calculate Ranma's probable parabolic arc. If he'd left the gym on a eighty-five degree angle... Scowling, she stopped, turned back to see Xander plodding along about a block behind her. She walked back to him hurriedly. His face was still expressionless as he rubbed the faint palm-shaped bruise on his cheek. 

"Xander, I'm sorry I hit you but we've gotta find Ranma, he must have come down somewhere around here... Xander?" He didn't answer her, only stared forward blankly. 

"Earth to Xander... Hell-oo? Okay, I didn't hit you that hard..." She followed the direction of his gaze. There was nothing there except for a laundry line, holding several pairs of women's underwear and some sheets. Puzzled, she turned back. 

"What is it? Do you see her? What's the matter with you?" 

Xander failed to respond. 

"Okay, this is giving me a major wiggins... Maybe Ranma hit you in the head or something..." She grabbed him by the shirtfront and shook him vigorously. He blinked twice and his eyes focused. 

"Willow? What's goin' on? How'd we get out here?" He glanced around, puzzled. Willow looked up at her old friend worriedly. 

"Are you okay, Xander? You've been acting really weird ever since your lesson... Did Ranma knock you silly?" Xander looked as confused as she did. 

"I don't... *think*... so... To be honest, I don't really remember much about today's session. It's like I was on autopilot or something." 

"You fought pretty well for someone on autopilot... Maybe we should take you to see a doctor..." Willow said, concerned. 

Xander shook his head. "Naw, don't worry about it. I probably got bonked on the head once or twice, like you said... I'd better just go home and lie down..." 

Willow looked long and hard at him. He *seemed* a little more lucid... 

"Well, okay... But see a doctor if things get worse, hmm? I'd better keep looking for Ranma..." 

"Sure, Wil. Seeya later, then..." He wandered away in the general direction of home. "Man, I feel weird..." 

Buffy and Akane arrived back at the Summers house shortly before dark, their arms laden down with shopping bags. 

"I can't believe you, Akane!" Buffy laughed. "You've really gotta stop buying those little-girl outfits, they make you look like a fourteen-year old. You're in great shape, why not flaunt it?" Akane blushed. 

"Well, it's just that... I don't like it when guys stare at me, okay?" 

"Why not? Sure, there's Ranma to think about, but maybe he'd smarten up a little if he had a little competition..." Akane harummphed loudly. 

The sounds of loud kiai yells caught their attention, cutting off any further argument. 

"Sounds like Ranma's home..." 

The girls walked around to the back of the house, finding Ranma in guy-form beating the heck out of the wooden practice post they'd installed last week. With a loud yell, he leapt up, delivering a devastating spin kick to the post, breaking the foot-thick board in two. The Japanese boy stopped his workout, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his arm. 

"Whoa.." Buffy said, "Angry much?" 

Ranma gave a halfhearted smile before straightening himself out. 

"Hey, Buffy, Akane... How'd the shopping trip go?" 

"Not bad, but your in-suzuki here needs some fashion tips..." Buffy said, winking at Akane. 

"For the umpteenth time, that's iinazuke, Buffy, and I do *not* need help!" She glared at the blonde girl. 

"Joking! Geez, girl, you have to take a serious chill-pill... anyway, I need munchies..." She smiled back at the couple, opened the back door and wandered into the kitchen. 

Akane looked furiously over at Ranma, about to mallet him if he even thought about teasing her about her fashion sense, but was startled to notice that Ranma wasn't even paying attention. Instead, he was sitting down staring at the ground, as if in rapt contemplation of some great tragedy unfolding in the ant kingdom below. 

"Ranma...? What's wrong? It's not like you to miss an opportunity to bug me... Are you okay?" She set down her packages and walked over to her fiancee. He barely looked up. 

"Huh? Aw, nothin'. 'Least, nothin' I wanna talk to *you* about." He continued to stare at the dirt. 

"Ran-maa..." Akane's temper flared, her mallet manifesting in her hand. Then, through the haze of her anger, she noticed something. A certain puffiness around the eyes, a slight dampness to the cheeks... 

"Ranma... Have you been... Crying?" Her mallet dissipated as quickly as it had appeared. Ranma looked up, reddened eyes glaring. 

"I *wasn't* crying! I just..." He sighed, looking away. "Akane... You're prob'ly gonna laugh at me, but... Aw, forget it!" 

"I promise I won't... What's wrong?" She sat down next to him, almost putting an arm around his shoulders before thinking better of it. He turned his face to look at her, a despairing look in his eyes. That look frightened Akane more than any vampire ever could. What on earth could make Ranma lose hope? 

"Akane... I think I've lost it." 

"Lost what?" 

"My skill, my mind... Everything... I keep thinking about how I..." His words caught in his throat. "How I let everybody down... How, because I wasn't strong enough, I let Kasumi and Shampoo and the others..." His voice broke completely, tears welling up in his eyes. "Don't look at me! I can't..." 

Akane's eyes widened. She hadn't realized how all this was affecting her iinazuke. Hesitantly, she put her arm around him, withdrawing it when he shuddered. 

"Ranma..." 

"I understand, Akane... I disgust you. You must hate me for letting that happen to your family, your home... I don't blame you for hating a useless weakling like me..." His voice was resigned. "Maybe it would be for the best if I left, went home to Japan..." 

"Ranma, no! I don't hate you! How can you say that?! You're the strongest, bravest man I know... What happened that night, we were all taken by surprise! No one could have stopped them..." 

"I should have! I never lose! Never!!" For a moment, the familiar fire lit his eyes once more, before dying again. "Except when it counts... Except when the people I love need me the most... I don't blame you for being disgusted with me. If this were Japan, I'd commit seppuku..." Akane's eyes went wide with fear. 

"Ranma, no! You can't! I don't hate you, you don't disgust me! I l-l-... What am I supposed to do without you..." Ranma turned to face her, a stunned expression on his face. 

"You what?" Akane blushed. 

"You heard me, baka..." 

"Akane..." 

"Do you think I've had it easy?! Kasumi was my sister! The Dojo was my home for my whole life! Losing them was almost too much... If you were gone, I... I don't think..." She started to cry, the tears running down her face. "Do you know what I was thinking during Kasumi's funeral? Do you? You think that *you're* despicable... All I could do was thank the Kami it wasn't *you* we were burying! Do you understand how horrible that is? I was almost... happy that Kasumi was gone... so long as it wasn't you...." 

"Akane, I..." 

"You shut up, you selfish baka! How can you think of killing yourself, when people... when *I* need you?! How?! HOW?!" 

She pounded on his shoulder with her fists, the blows not those of a martial artist, rather those of a frightened child. Eventually, she stopped, staring up at her fiancee, who was looking back with something approaching awe in his face. 

"You need me? You still want me...? After I failed..?" 

"You didn't fail! You lived! We both did! We can't be ashamed of that! Kasumi wouldn't have wanted it, and neither would any of the others! Don't you understand? It wasn't our fault! It wasn't *your* fault! We were outmatched, pure and simple..." She sniffled, composing herself. "You're the one who taught me what to do when that happens." 

Despite himself, Ranma softened. "What did I teach you? The Saotome Secret Technique?" Akane giggled through her tears. 

"No, dummy... We train until we're no longer outmatched, then we take the fight to them... Isn't that what we're supposed to be doing here?" 

Startling both of them, she grabbed him and hugged him close, holding onto him like a life preserver. After a moment's hesitation, he returned the hug. 

"Akane... " He whispered into her hair. She sniffled, a small smile on her lips. 

"Bakayaro..." She said, teasingly. Dummy! 

"Kawaiikune otenba..." Uncute Tomboy! He pushed her gently away to look her in the eyes, smiling sadly. Their faces moved closer, lips gently parting... 

When the back door opened. 

"Hey guys, everything all right out here- Ooops!" Buffy shut the door quickly. "Sorry!!!" 

Akane and Ranma looked at each other for a moment, blushing furiously. After a second, they both broke out laughing. 

"Hahahaha.... Oh, geez, of all the times..." Ranma flopped backwards onto the lawn, the darkness dispelled for the moment. 

"Rain check?" Akane asked, smiling softly. 

"Sure... We'd better go in. I need to change before Mrs. Summers comes home." He sprung to his feet, a little bit of his old spirit seemingly present. 

When the two entered the house, Buffy was studiously attempting to act as if nothing had happened by burying her nose in the newspaper. 

"Buff..." 

"Hmm? Oh, what is it, Ranma?" 

"You're reading that upside down..." 

For a change, it was Buffy's turn to blush. 

"Sorry, really, guys..." She said, abashed. 

"Don't worry about it..." Akane said reassuringly. 

"Oh, before I forget... There's a message on the machine for one of you... It's in Japanese, so I haven't the slightest idea who it is, but I *think* I heard her mention your name, Ranma..." Ranma looked surprised. 

"Her? Was it my Mom? Is everything okay?" 

"How should I know? I don't speak Japanese..." 

Ranma hopped over to the phone and punched in the code for the call answer service. Buffy and Akane watched, curious. 

Ranma hung up the phone, an unreadable expression on his face. 

"Who was it?" Akane asked, worried. 

"It was Ucchan... She's on her way over here right now..." 

"Ucchan?" Buffy asked, puzzled. "Isn't that that Ukyou girl you told me about? I thought you guys were friends?" Akane looked nonplussed. 

"Did she say why? What's got you so upset?" 

"It's not that... I'll be happy to see her, but she's got company on her flight." 

"Who? Konatsu? Ryouga?" Akane asked hopefully. 

"Nope. She actually called to warn us. It's that Pantyhose bastard." 

"Nani?! What's she doing with him?!" 

"I didn't get the impression that they were together, just on the same plane. He might not even know she's there..." 

Buffy was getting frustrated again. 

"Pantyhose? What's the problem? Will somebody please explain what's going on?" Ranma sighed, sitting down at the kitchen table. 

"Pantyhose is the meanest S.O.B. I've ever had the displeasure of fighting. A while back, he showed up in Nerima and attacked everyone with a Jusenkyo curse, looking for my old Master, Happousai." 

A rumble of thunder echoed from outside. Buffy peered out the kitchen window. 

"Didn't *look* like rain, earlier... Anyway, what about him? Wasn't he the guy who used to have the magic mirror?" 

"Yeah, that's him all right. Pantyhose had a grudge against him 'cause the old lech was his godfather, and stuck him with a really stupid name." 

Buffy blinked. "Which is?" 

"Pantyhose." 

"That's not a nickname?" 

Ranma and Akane shook their heads. Ranma smirked slightly. 

"Well, so what? This guy doesn't like his name. I knew a girl in public school called Mary Christmas. She didn't go around beating people up, so what's this guy's dealie?" 

"Happy told him that he'd never give him a new name. It was the little pervo's idea of godfatherly affection. Thing is, Happy's dead. Why's Pantyhose comin' here?" 

"Ranma..." Akane breathed. "You don't suppose he's after *you*, do you? You *are* Master Happousai's heir..." 

"Well, great. Like we don't have enough problems." Ranma scowled. Suddenly, his eyes widened as an idea hit him. 

"Ucchan! He'll kidnap her to get to me! He's done it before..." 

Akane nodded, the same though having occurred to her as well. Buffy interjected, concerned. 

"Well, how'll we help her? Will he try anything on the plane?" 

"Probably not... He won't want to risk it. But at the airport afterwards... Chikuso! She'll be landing at three in Los Angeles! We gotta go..." Buffy put a hand on his shoulder. 

"Ranma... We haven't got any wheels, remember?" 

"What about the trains?" 

"This isn't Japan, Ranma. Amtrack is just plain slow. I think I know a way to get *some*one to meet her..." 

"Who?" Buffy sighed. 

"I shouldn't be calling him, but... if this Pantyhose guy is as bad as you say, your friend'll need his help." 

She walked over to the phone like a woman being led to the gallows. After a moment's hesitation, she picked up the receiver and punched in a number from memory. 

"Hi... It's me. No, don't hang up, just listen, okay...?" 

In the basement of the Harris house some blocks away, Xander lay sleeping on his bed, sweating profusely, the sheets a tangle at his feet. A clap of thunder woke him, and he sat up, head in hands. 

"Oh, man... My head feels like it's gonna explode... Better call a doctor..." He tried to stand, but his legs gave out and he flopped back down on the bed. 

"Or not. This is no good..." 

Lightning flashed outside, followed shortly by a peal of thunder. 

A very un-Xander-Like chuckle issued from his mouth as he stood a second time, this time finding his feet easily. He rolled his neck around his shoulders, feeling the muscles unclench. He looked down at his body, clad only in boxer shorts. 

"Hmm... Not bad. A little soft, but lots of potential..." 

He looked around the room as if seeing it for the first time, and in fact, he was... His eyes settled on a picture hanging on the wall. It was a group shot of Xander with Buffy, Willow and Oz, mugging for the camera. Walking over, he took the photo off the wall and looked long and hard at it, tracing a slow circle around the head and shoulders of the blonde girl. 

"Hmm... Sweet-o..." 

As the rain outside began to fall, first a light sprinkle, then growing to a downpour, Willow turned away from her bedroom window with a sigh. Her developing magical sense told her something was going on tonight... She'd tried to get through to Giles, but the English Watcher had been surprisingly hard to get ahold of lately. Buffy hadn't been home when she called half an hour ago, and when she'd tried again a few minutes ago, the line was busy. She sat down at her study desk and looked in at Amy, her sort-of pet rat. 

Amy Madison had been a member of a small coven Willow had been a part of last year, but due to a misfired spell had been stuck as a rat ever since. Willow had taken it upon herself to take care of the rodent, making sure that her cage was clean, that she had a nice habitrail, that her food pellets were always well stocked, but for the life of her, she hadn't been able to find a cure for Amy. 

"Well, I guess it's just you and me, Amy... I wish you could talk..." 

Amy's ears pricked up, and she looked up at her friend, twitching her whiskers questioningly. 

"I know, I'm sorry... I wish I was a better witch. I'm kinda stuck here, and I wish you could help..." 

Amy-rat crawled over to the door of her cage, flicked open the catch and hopped onto the desk in front of Willow. Rising up on her hind legs and using her long tail for balance, she gave a squeak. 

"What's that? You want to help? Well, maybe you can... I've got all your spellbooks here, which one has a curse-removing spell?" 

Amy chittered loudly. 

"I know, you're not cursed, it was a backfire. I was there, remember? This for another friend, Ranma. You remember me telling you about him?" 

The rat nodded, cocking her head sideways quizzically. 

"Yeah, he's the one who turns into a girl when he gets wet. I have an idea that might help both of you. But you were always better at this than I was... I could really use a hand..." Willow gave her sweetest looking-smile, the one that made Oz melt. 

Amy-rat made a fair approximation of a shrug, and darted down the table leg and over to the bookshelf. With remarkable ease, she scaled the shelf until she reached the third level. Then, climbing down, she scurried along until she found a particularly large leatherbound tome. 

"That's the one? Great! You get some cheese!" 

Amy's ears pricked up happily. 

At the edge of the warehouse district, a small white duck with slightly singed feathers waddled unhappily through puddles, cursing his lot in unlife. 

Bad enough the Master was furious, but how was he supposed to kill the Slayers, retake the Nanban and destroy the hated Saotome in this condition? For the thousandth time he wished that he had asked the Master whether his Jusenkyo curse would have been cured by becoming a vampire before he'd accepted the gift. Oh sure, he was powerful beyond reason, and his beloved Xian-Pu was finally his, but all it took was a little cold water and >paf!<, farewell Mu-Tsu unstoppable killer and hello Mu-mu-chan, bloodsucking duck. 

He wondered not for the first time how Xian-Pu managed to control the change. Metamorphism was based on willpower, and he was the dominant vampire, right? Right? He gave a duckish sigh. 

At least the minions no longer called him Count Quackula to his face, not since Mu-mu-chan had eaten the last one who'd dared. 

He flapped his stubby wings, lifting off with effort into the wind and rain. Maybe the night might not be a total loss. There were always nubile young women who'd take pity on a cute little duck down on his luck... 

Flying into town, he alit on the fire escape above the main doors of The Bronze, the most popular club in town. Even on a night like this, the joint was jumping. He decided to wait until a pretty girl left, and then he'd pounce, using all the kawaiiness he could muster to gain her confidence, and then it was dinner time. 

After an hour or so, he gave up on a single female, and decided to settle for cutting one away from a herd. Didn't American women feel safe walking the streets alone after dark anymore? This country was too paranoid. 

Eventually, his patience paid off. Two young women in their early twenties exited the bar, toting instrument cases and arguing amongst themselves. 

"Geez, Beverly! If you keep letting Ginger walk all over us like that, we'll never get decently paid! Just because we're the replacement band doesn't mean we don't get scale!" 

"I know, Rox, but what can I do? He's waiting to see which one of us'll put out first. And it ain't gonna be me..." 

"Ewww! Me neither..." 

Perfect! Thought Mu-Tsu. That one girl, Beverly. A redhead, his favorite food... mustering all his dramatic skill, he quacked loudly and fluttered to the ground at her feet. 

"Oooh! How cute! A little duck!" 

"Don't touch it, Bev! You don't know where it's been!" 

"Tsk! Don't be silly, Roxy! It's just a poor little bird... Aww, poor thing, look at you. You're all singed..." 

"Maybe he was migrating and got struck by lighting..." 

"Ducks don't migrate in the summer. Somebody probably hurt it." 

Mu-mu-chan flopped dramatically at her feet, emitting a pitiful quack that somehow conveyed the depths of his poor anatadaen misery. 

"Aww, poor lil' Duckie... I'll take you home..." She reached down and gathered up Mu-mu-chan in her arms, cradling him to her ample chest. 

"Bev, you're such a soft touch... well, I ain't sharing a cab with that mangy thing." 

"Duckie is *not* mangy, he's probably just moulting, isn't that right, Duckie?" She cooed happily to the feathery bundle. "If you don't want to share a cab, I'll walk home. A little rain won't bother me and Duckie, will it?" 

Mu-mu-chan quacked, shaking his head. 

"See? He understands me! Aw, aren't you just so precious..." She hugged him close, giving Mu-mu-chan a close up view of her cleavage. He quacked happily. 

The pleasant interlude was broken by the sounds of feminine screams coming from inside The Bronze. 

"Huh?" 

"What the hell?" 

"Waak?" 

"BUFFY!! WHEREAREYA, CUTIE?!" 

A nearly naked form bounded out the front doors of The Bronze, clad in nothing more than a pair of happy-face boxers. The figure stopped, turning to face the two girls and duck. 

"HOTCHA! C'MERE, HONEY, GIVE YOUR XANDER-BABY A BIG OL' SMOOCH!!!" The young man leapt forward like he was on springs, and almost instantly had his face buried between Roxy's generous endowments. 

"EEeek! Get it offa me!!!" She smacked furiously at Xander's head, attempting to dislodge the glomp, with little success. 

With a swing of her guitar case, Beverly smacked the pervert hard, driving him down like a hammer drives a nail. 

"HEY! Whatcha go an' do that for? I'm just being friendly... Say, you aren't Buffy..." The half-naked man picked himself up, eyeing Bev hungrily. "Butcher pretty cute yerself... Howzabouta hug?!!" 

He leapt forward, in full glomping position, arms outstretched, only to be met by a furious pecking at the hands, er, beak of Bev's Duckie. 

"Owowowowowowow!!! That smarts!" He eyed the duck. "Say, don't I know you? Somethin' familiar 'bout a duck wearin' sunglasses..." 

"QUAAACK!" Mu-mu-chan said furiously. He'd worked hard for this meal, and he wasn't about to give her up to some low-rent American sex fiend. 

"Ah, who cares..." Xander said nonchalantly as he reached out and snatched Mu-mu-chan from Bev's arms, drop kicking him over the horizon. 

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaauuuuugggggh!!" 

"Now, cuties, which one of you lovelies wants to give me a quick peek at your panties?" He leered meaningfully at the two girls. 

"You freak! You hurt my Duckie!!!!" Bev hefted her guitar case and began smiting Xander about the head with great vengeance and furious anger. Roxy joined in with her own instrument. 

"Aw, no, OUCH! Gimme a break here girlies, AARGH! Not that kind of break, I mean OWOWOW!! Forget this, I'm outta here..." He sprung off into the night, laughing maniacally and yelling "WOTTA HAUL, WOTTA HAUL!!!" 

The two dishevelled musicians stood panting in fury. 

"That, that... Creep!! He hurt Duckie!" 

"Uh, Bev?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Are your panties missing too?" 

Bev checked. 

"Oh my Ghod! That little perv!!!!" 

Ranma was *not* happy... 

"Lemme get this straight, Buff. My oldest, best friend in the world is in mortal danger from a sadistic martial artist, and you asked a VAMPIRE to go rescue her?!!" 

Akane looked worried herself. 

"I hate to say this, Buffy, but he's right. That's insane!!" 

"Look, guys..." Buffy sat down with a sigh. "It's really long and painful story. Just believe me, you can trust Angel to look after your friend." 

"You're gonna hafta do better'n that, Buff! Vampires are soulless, demonic killers! Ucchan... Chikuso!!! I can't lose *her* too!!" 

Ranma's eyes were wild, his battle aura flaring a shifting pattern of reds and yellows. He looked frantic. Akane rushed over to try to hold him, but he threw her off with a heave of his shoulders, sending her across the kitchen to bounce off the counter with a grunt. 

"Ranma!! Stop it! You're hurting her!" Buffy jumped to her feet, interposing herself between Ranma and the prone Akane. She knew that she was no match, physically, for the enraged martial artist, but she couldn't let him do this. He was upset, and scared... 

Ranma stared hard at the two girls, and the reality of the situation sunk in. His whole body sagged as the fight left him, his battle aura winking out. 

"Akane... I... I'm sorry..." 

With a noise that sounded suspiciously like a sob, he flung himself out the door into the rainy night and sprung off over the rooftops. 

"Ranma..." Akane got to her feet, stumbling over to the open door. "RANMAAA!!" She sunk to her knees. "...come back..." 

Buffy walked over to her side, attempting to comfort her friend. Akane stood, whirling to face her. 

"Damn you! What on earth were you thinking?! Don't you know how fragile he is right now?!" Buffy goggled. 

"Fragile?! He almost killed you!" 

"Emotionally fragile, you... Oooh!! I can look after myself! Besides, what were you thinking, sending a vampire?! You say we can trust him, but you know as well as I do that that's impossible..." Akane looked ready to lash out herself. 

"Akane... Leaving aside the fact that you and I both know what Ranma could have done in that state... Angel isn't a killer, not anymore..." 

"All vampires are killers!" 

"Not Angel... He has a soul." 

"Yeah, right." 

"No, it's true... He was cursed by Gypsies, a long time ago..." 

"Gypsies? What are you talking about?" 

"Look... I don't like talking about him. Can't you just take my word on this?" 

"Buffy... Ranma will never believe you unless you explain... And I don't want... Look, he's very unstable right now. His whole world's been turned upside down, and I'm ashamed to say I didn't realize how badly it had affected him. I guess I was just too wrapped up in my own grief, and coming here, meeting you and all of your friends..." She sighed, sitting back down at the kitchen table. 

"Buffy, Ranma's whole identity is based on the fact that he's the best. How do you think he felt when he couldn't stop what happened to our families, to our friends? I've lost people close to me before, years ago, when my mother died, but he's never had to face that, never had to cope with the feelings of helplessness that it brings... He doesn't know how to deal with being unable to protect the ones he loves, and it's tearing him up inside. I think he might hurt himself..." 

"Hurt himself? How?" 

"Ranma's mother comes from a clan descended from the Samurai. When a Samurai was dishonored, the way Ranma feels he was, they sometimes committed 'seppuku'... You might have heard of it as Hari-Kari." 

"He's going to *kill* himself?!" 

"A few minutes ago, in the yard, he told me he'd been thinking about it. I thought I'd managed to convince him not to, but... Buffy, Ukyou is his best friend, one of only friends he has left... If anything happened to her, and he wasn't able to stop it..." 

"It might push him over the edge..." Buffy whispered. "We have to stop him..." 

"The only way to do that is to convince him that Ukyou will be safe with Angel. And the only way to do *that* is for you to convince *me*..." 

Buffy slumped down in her seat, exhaling. 

"Okay... when I first moved to Sunnydale, three years ago..." 

"Who the hell was that?!" Mu-Tsu bellowed as he pried himself out of the brick wall. Or rather, that's what he *meant* to say. Since he was currently a duck, it came out something like "Quaaack waak waaak wa quaaak?!" Tossing aside his ruined sunglasses, Mu-mu-chan shook, feeling his plumage re-order itself. He glanced around, attempting to get his bearings. 

He was underground... He spared a glance upwards. Apparently he'd fallen down an open manhole into a sewer main, but had mercifully been spared the humiliating plunge into the foetid stream coursing through the middle of the tunnel. 

The local vampires he'd suborned had mentioned the convenient network of tunnels and catacombs that crisscrossed Sunnydale's underbelly, but he'd never before had occasion to explore them at any length. 

Off in the distance, he heard the faint sounds of excavation. A city work crew? Perhaps not a tasty maiden, but right now anything warm-blooded would hit the spot... 

With a >waak< of effort, he launched his feathered form into the air, skimming the ceiling as he flew through tunnel after tunnel, tracking the sounds to their source. After several twists and turns, he found himself in a side passage off the main line, roughly hewn out of the bedrock, and recently by the looks of things... The digging sounds came from within. 

Setting down, he backed away slightly from the opening and withdrew about ten feet into the main line. Scanning the tunnel, he found what he was looking for, a hot water pipe, as evidenced by the steam rising from the tarnished copper tubing. 

Ignoring the pain it caused his dented beak, he pecked furiously at the pipe until a small dent formed, then a hairline crack. Eagerly, he flew up into the hot spray, feeling the water work its transforming magic. 

"AAaaah... MUCH better..." Mu-Tsu gasped as he returned to his humanoid form. With a squint of effort, he wove a minor glamour around himself, creating clothing where only moments before had been naked flesh. With a flourish, he produced a pair of round-lensed sunglasses from an illusory pocket and placed them over his eyes. Perfect... 

Nimbly, he skittered up the wall of the tunnel to the ceiling, lizard-crawling along the damp surface into the side tunnel towards the sounds of activity. 

The sight that greeted his eyes was remarkable. A vast cavern was being excavated. Gas fuelled generators chugged, powering bright halogen lights that cast a blue-white glow sporadically across the great chamber. Workers hurried around, toting pickaxes and other digging equipment as they dug into the west wall of the cave. To Mu-Tsu's heightened senses, it was apparent that none of these workers, despite appearances, were human. 

Vampires? He thought, surprised. I didn't authorize a dig... 

Dropping to his feet from the domed ceiling in a flurry of silk, he landed in front of the vampire who was evidently in charge, a tall male in black jeans and T-shirt, his features hidden behind blasting goggles and a dust mask. The figure looked up at him, his attention drawn away from the clipboard he had been examining. 

"What is the meaning of this?" Mu-Tsu demanded in his most imperious tone. "I was not consulted about this endeavor!" 

The vampire in black looked him up and down, a sigh audible through the white mask. He reached up and pulled off the goggles and filter, revealing a slicked-back head of pale blonde hair, and sharp, almost regal features. The dark eyes held a sardonic, cheerful malevolence that Mu-Tsu found oddly... worrisome. 

"Marvelous..." the blonde vampire said, his tones those of a London tough. "Who let in the bloody Heathen Chinee?" He glanced around at the surrounding vampires, most of whom merely shrugged submissively and returned to their digging, sparing Mu-Tsu worried looks over their shoulders. The English vampire sighed, glancing upwards at the stony ceiling as if seeking solace. 

"I asked you a question, barbarian! Answer your liege!" Mu-Tsu growled at the shorter man. The blonde merely snorted with derision and turned his back on him, walking away. 

"Will somebody *please* stake him?! He's getting up my nose..." 

Mu-Tsu was completely taken aback by the Englishman's contempt. With a sputter of fury, he shot out a tendril of metamorphic flesh, entangling the blonde man in a cocoon of cable from the neck down before hauling him back to glare into his eyes. 

"You *will* answer my question!!" Mu-Tsu growled, the burning coals of his eyes flaring molten yellow behind his glasses. Subtly, he increased his size and mass so as to present an even more imposing figure. 

All work in the cavern had stopped as the vampires awaited the outcome of the contest. Except for the animalistic growl emanating from the Chinese vampire, the cavern was silent save for the chugging of the generators. 

The blonde vampire looked calmly down at the fleshy prison that held him, before returning Mu-Tsu's furious stare with a cool glance. 

"Clever little gimmick you've got there, mate. Can't say as I appreciate it, though. Put me down." Mu-Tsu withdrew slightly, amazed at both the defiance and the sheer maliciousness in his eyes. This one was old... At least a century older than he was... 

"Spike..?" A feminine voice called out from the throng, its timbre somehow striking a chord in Mu-Tsu's ears. A pretty strawberry-blonde girl wandered out of the crowd. "Spike, what are you doing? You said we could go out tonight..." 

Spike's eyes never wavered from Mu-Tsu's. 

"Not now, Harm dear. Daddy's got a guest..." Harm pouted fetchingly. 

"But you pro-mised..." 

"Not now." 

"Awwww...." 

At the sound of that whine, for some reason, the image of ice skates flitted through Mu-Tsu's mind. Dispelling the notion that two creatures *that* annoying could co-exist in the same universe, he returned his attention to Spike. 

"Spike, is it? I've heard of you..." He released his coils, dropping the blonde vampire unceremoniously to the earth floor. 

At that, work resumed in the cavern, the jackhammers resuming their pounding as Spike picked himself up, brushing the dirt from his dark clothes. 

"Yeah, and you're the goit named for a hairstyling product. What do you want, gobshite? This isn't Limehouse, I don't take orders from the bloody Yellow Peril anymore..." 

Mu-Tsu restrained himself (just barely) from tearing off Spike's head. He could tell, with the withered remnants of his Ki sense, that the other vampire was powerful, and dangerous. He'd make a better ally than an enemy... 

"Indulge me. Even if you hold me in no regard, certain others do. They- and I, could make your unlife very difficult if you are not co-operative." Spike looked him up and down. 

"Right. I'll bet. You've demon-stink all over you, mate. Who're you workin' for, then?" 

"Never mind that now... Just tell me what you're doing here, and we can both go back about our business. I've no wish to destroy as useful an ally as yourself." Not yet, anyway, he added mentally. 

Spike raised an eyebrow sardonically, not fooled for a moment by Mu-Tsu's sudden solicitude. He'd throw the dog a bone, and see if he bit. 

"If you really must know, I'm setting up homesteading, and I've called some old friends over to help me out. Isn't that right, pumpkin?" He placed his arm around Harm's shoulders possesively. Harm looked up, a little confused. "Yeah, just making a little love nest for me and my best girl..." 

"But Spi-ike, didn't you say that you were looking for-" 

"Not now, honeybunny..." He hissed through clenched teeth, squeezing her a little hard. Mu-Tsu seemed to have missed the gaffe, as he was occupied with scanning the cavern. 

"Homesteading, hmm?" He sniffed derisively. "Nice place for it... Well, carry on then. Make sure you inform me if things change, liegeman." He turned with a flourish and left. 

"Oh, yeah, sure will, chief..." Spike muttered as the Chinese vampire wandered out. "God, what a git." 

"Spike, why didn't you tell him about the Gem of Amara? Maybe he could've helped, and we could've gone out like you said we would..." Harm whined. 

"You can't *really* be that dense, can you pumpkin?" 

"Huh? What?" 

"Oh, good grief... Run along you little bint. Go dancing or whatever, just leave me alone..." 

"Oh.. O-okay, Spike, whatever you say..." She wandered off, looking disconsolately over her shoulder. 

"Lord... What on earth was I thinking, making her a vampire..." He massaged his temples, trying to fight off the impending headache Harm's whining always caused. A soft feminine voice brushed lightly across his mind. 

"Spike..." 

"You can come out now, love. He's gone." 

With a rustle of soft fabric, a sensuous form slunk out of the shadows to drape itself across Spike's shoulders. 

"Hmmm... I was worried he might have detected my presence." 

"Don't worry, gorgeous, he's a real thickie..." He reached up a hand and stroked her long soft hair. She purred her response. 

"Both of our chosen lovers seem to merit that description, my barbarian..." 

"Heh... So, it's a deal, then?" 

"My Master agrees. The Gem is ours, and the Slayers are yours." 

"Well, that's just peachy keen..." He replied, drawing her in for a passionate kiss. 

At the reconstruction site of Sunnydale High, high atop the steel girders that would soon become the clocktower, a lone figure sat, oblivious to the driving rain. Lightning flashed, illuminating the face of Ranma Saotome. Even she couldn't tell whether the wet streaks on her face were rain or tears... 

It'd be so easy, she thought, just to leap off and out. To fall through the air, let oblivion swallow me up, just like Oneechan Kasumi, like poor, sweet Shampoo, like Hiroshi and Daisuke, like Kodachi and Mousse, like Kuh-Lohn and the old freak... 

And now it looks like you're going to fail again, Saotome, the internal voice of her self-loathing mocked. If Tarou doesn't get Ucchan, Buffy's so-called "tame vampire" will. And there's nothing you can do to stop them. 

"So you're not even gonna try?" 

A man's voice spoke up beside her. Ranma turned with a start to see a man around Tofu's age sitting on the girder by her side. He was white, dressed in a grubby sportcoat and a fedora whose best days were long behind it. He took a deep drag off the cigarette he held cupped between his hands, shielding it from the rain. A moment later, he exhaled, the smoke hanging thick in the damp air. Ranma noticed with a start that the man wasn't even wet. It was like the rain... missed him. 

"Who... Where did you come from?!" Ranma gasped. "I didn't sense you..." Reflexively, she reached out with her Ki sense, finding neither the bright fire of a living person or the cold void that was the soul of a vampire. "You're... Not human..." The man chuckled under his breath. 

"Well, that's a matter of opinion, I guess. Name's Whistler." He extended a hand in greeting. Ranma shook it, dumbfounded. "You're Saotome Ranma, right?" He asked with a crooked smile. 

"Y-yeah, that's me. What do you want?" 

"Oh, just to talk. Good thinkin' spot y'got here, kid. What is it with you and high places, anyway?" Ranma sputtered, trying to frame a response. 

"How do you know that? How do you know me?" Whistler gave another wry grin. 

"Let's just say I'm a friend of a friend, and leave it at that. Couldn't help but notice you lookin' at the drop. You gonna be a jumper, kid?" 

"I... Don't know." Whistler nodded understandingly. 

"Yeah, you've been handed a lotta tough breaks lately. Even more than usual... you wouldn't be the first person to look for the easy way out." 

"It's not easy!" 

"Easier than facin' yer problems. 'Sides, you still got stuff to do, kiddo. I should know..." 

"Hunh? What are you talkin' about? What stuff?" 

"Hey, that'd be telling. Anyway, I gotta be goin'. S'gonna get a bit crowded up here in a minute. To coin a cliche, 'you shall be visited tonight by three ghosts', yadda yadda yadda." He finished his cigarette, flicking the butt out into the night, the glowing coal plummeting down into the excavation pit before winking out. "Be seein' ya, kid." Whistler got to his feet, stretched, and stepped off the girder into space. 

"Wait! Don't-" Whistler gave a little wink over his shoulder, before disappearing into thin air. Ranma stood, looking around frantically. "Where the heck did he go? What's goin' on?!" 

She felt a warm breeze at her back, accompanied by the delicate scent of flowers and incense. Freezing, she turned around slowly on the slick girder. A warm, womanly voice touched her ears, echoing softly in her mind. 

"I'm surprised at you, Son-In-Law... You're usually not so easily startled..." 

Before her eyes, the luminous, translucent figure of a beautiful Chinese woman appeared, hovering gently in the air before her. She wore a long, modest gown of golden silk, her hair was long and deep violet, simply styled with a chrysanthemum behind her right ear. Ranma gasped. 

"Tsk. Flatterer... Don't you recognize me? I'm disappointed." 

"K-kuh-Lohn?" Ranma stuttered, awestruck. The ghostly figure bowed lightly, a small smile on her face. 

"Ah, I see you *do* know me. I am grateful that I am not so easily forgotten." She smiled warmly at her, a smile made all the more radiant by her breathtaking beauty. 

"You're s-so, uh, *young*..." Kuh-Lohn smiled indulgently. 

"I was not always the withered crone you dubbed 'The Old Ghoul', Son-In-Law. You see me as I was, when I was little older than you are now... Am I pleasing to your eyes?" 

"You're... Beautiful, Obasan." Ranma bowed low and held it. 

"Do stand up, Son-In-Law. This respectful behavior doesn't become you." Ranma straightened rapidly, her cheeks crimson. 

"H-hai, Obasan. Gomen..." 

"There. That's better. I have been watching you from the Temple of the Goddess, and I must say I am disappointed. Where is the proud warrior I was glad to call my Son-In-Law, hmm?" 

"I... I don't know anymore..." 

"Tsk. What kind of melodramatic nonsense is that? You will never fulfil your destiny if you keep thinking that way. Smarten up, Son-In-Law!" 

"Hunh? Destiny? What are you talking about? I can't fulfil anything, Obasan. I failed, you and the others died because I wasn't good enough..." 

"Rubbish! Our lives were not your responsibility, Son-In-Law! Do you think I need your protection? Did I ever?" 

"N-no, but-" 

"But nothing! I lived close to a hundred years, child. A fair enough span for anyone! It was my time, my fate." Her voice filled with pride. "I have no regrets, for I succeeded in my purpose!" 

"But the others... Shampoo, Kasumi..." 

"And who is to say that *they* did not fulfil their purposes as well? Certainly not a mere boy not yet in his twentieth summer!" She sighed, her smile tinged with sympathy. "I understand your pain, child. In my time, I have seen more than my share of loved ones leave this life, and others... Do you think my great-granddaughter sprung whole from under a rock? What of my daughters and their children? Or my husband, hmm? The wheel of life turns, Son-In-Law. What once was, shall someday come again. Those who once lived, shall live again. It is the way of things. No demon, no evil can change that, for it is the nature of the universe. In your life to come, you shall lose many more people who are dear to you, just as you yourself shall someday be lost to them. But you *will* meet again in your next lives, I promise you. Trust me, Son-In-Law... When have I ever steered you wrong?" 

Ranma smiled sadly at that last remark, remembering all the trials and tribulations the wily Matriarch had put her through. Though each had been painful, she'd always benefited from the old Amazon's teaching. 

"Yes, I did make your life difficult, didn't I, Son-In-Law?" The spirit chuckled, reading Ranma's thoughts. "You must know that I did it for a purpose, child, above and beyond making you strong enough for my Shampoo. And why I do what I do now." 

"What?" Ranma looked directly into Kuh-Lohn's eyes. "What do you do now?" 

*WHAP!* 

Ranma blinked. For a moment, Kuh-Lohn vanished and was replaced by Cologne in his mind's eye, despite the vision of youthful beauty before him, and he smelt the faintest whiff of... roasting chestnuts. Also, a smarting sting on the side of his head which brought back memories of the impression of that wretched staff... 

"Whad'ya do THAT for?!" 

"Pay attention!!" 

"I was!!!" 

"Just making sure. Son-In-Law, I believe you are familiar with the local museum. Just nod if you understand; 

Ranma thought about smarting off, then thought better of it, and nodded. 

"Very well. In that building you will find a book. A rather large one, written in old Chinese. The Tofu man understands how to translate it. The book has the title of the Kyuuketsuki Satsu Waza." She sighed. "Sad that this sort of power has to be unleashed again, but, nonetheless..." 

Ranma nodded once more. 

"Get the book. Give it to Tofu. Then, you will be done... for now, however, son-in-law... now, you must remember that what I did was... I... I did it out of love..." 

"L-love?" 

"Remember what I said, child. Those who once lived, live again in time. Your spirit is very dear to me, Ranma. Perhaps, in your next life, you will remember why..." the ghost extended a spectral hand, gently brushing the girl's cheek with all the tenderness of a parent to a favored daughter. Deep inside her heart, a feeling stirred inside Ranma. It was strange, but not foreign, like a half-remembered dream. 

"O-Okaasan?" 

"Hush, Luan-ko. There are two more who must speak to you this night, and my time grows short. Be well, my child. Remember my words. We shall all meet again, someday..." 

With a final, loving smile, the Matriarch faded away with a shimmer of light, leaving behind the scent of chrysanthemums... 

Somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, nearing the California coast. "I'm telling you, Hiroe, he's the most gorgeous man I've ever seen! Totally yummy..." The strawberry blonde flight attendant sighed. Her blue-haired co- worker tsked. 

"I don't know, Madoka... He's a little too bishonen for me. And did you see the way he treated that girl sitting next to him? So rude..." 

"MMmm, that just shows he's got fire... As if you couldn't tell just by looking at those EYES..." Madoka gave a little gleeful shiver. "Hey. Guy just across the aisle from him - calling us. You wanna go have a closer look?" "Oh, Madoka, you're impossible," Hiroe laughed. "If it'll shut you up..." 

Ukyou tapped her fingers together. Despite her inherit distrust of the man next to her thanks to stories from Ranma, despite his explicit threats on her person, she was beginning to feel a powerful urge to talk to the Chinese man. 

In short, Ukyou Kuonji was bored as hell. Risking possible pain, she opened her mouth, and, with what she hoped was a nonchalant gesture... 

Knocked the bottled water off her tray and sent it careening onto Tarou's lap. 

"Oh, shi-" she began. 

Then, it was stopped. Tarou was holding the bottle, his thumb over the top, keeping the water from splashing onto his lap. 

"Oh?" She grinned. "So the mighty movie star doesn't want to get wet? What's the matter, Tarou?" 

Tarou regarded her coldly. "Kuonji, think about it. If I change forms here and now, it would be most annoying to fly all the way to California under my own power. Now, if you wil-" 

A shriek from the aisle cut him off. Tarou turned. 

One of the flight attendants was being held around the neck by an aggravated-looking man waving a pistol around. His business suit was rumpled and his hair disarrayed. 

"Oh, bother." Tarou rolled his eyes and cracked his knuckles. 

"Oh?" Ukyou glanced at him. "Mind if you let me get out so I can take care of this nutcase?" 

"No." Tarou coughed. "I'll handle it." 

"Ooh, the mighty Tarou feels compassion for his fellow man. Saving a damsel in distress, eh? Bet that's the first time that THAT'S hap-" 

Ukyou's eyes were good. She could track Ranma's speed at times. But one moment he'd been sitting with his hands in his lap, the next he had her wrist pinned low on the chair, not visible to everyone, but nonetheless, she saw an angry fire in his eyes. 

"Shut Up." 

With that, he stood up, his air of superiority resuming itself. 

"Don't MOVE!" The gunman bellowed at him. "I SAID, DON'T MOVE!" 

Tarou assumed a scholarly tone and ignored the gunman altogether, instead turning to Ukyou. 

"Observe; everyone will make at least one mistake. Always." 

With that, he calmly walked up to the gunman and his hostage. 

"Hey, LOOK, PRETTY BOY, I *SAID* to SIT *DOWN*!" 

"No you didn't," Tarou snorted. "Give me the gun." 

"Heh. A trouble maker, hmm?" He reached out with his gun hand and caught Tarou's suit jacket, pulling on it roughly. 

"Look, now-" the gunman began. 

The jackets buttons, tore open revealing a glittering purple vest and... unusual... sash. 

"PANTYHOSE?!" The gunman burst out laughing. 

Ukyou cringed. 

Tarou's hands lashed at barely sub-sonic speeds, catching the man's still-outstretched gun-hand, landing his other hand on the forearm wrapped around the attendant's throat and snapped it out straight, locking the joint. Roughly forcing the man's shoulders off-center, he twisted the gun around to point at the man's own palm... 

And fired. 

Upon later examination, doctors would note the amazing luck which was displayed here; the bullet travelled up the man's radius and through his humerus, stopping at the top of his shoulder, just enough pressure coming through to make the top of his shoulder explode with blood, but not to release the bullet. A miracle of modern ballistics, as it were. 

Tarou, on the other hand, glanced at the blood stain on the roof, regarded the man, shrieking as he was, and did the most humane thing. 

Turning slightly, he whipped up a crescent kick that caught the man's temple, knocking him totally unconscious. Turning back to his seat, he sat down without a word. 

The entire plane was silent for a moment; even the faint hum of normal systems seemed muted. 

Then, the entire plane erupted in stunned applause. 

Ukyou just blinked at Tarou. Even RANMA would have been a bit more wary when dealing with someone armed with a pistol. 

"And?" She asked, wide-eyed. 

"That was his mistake." 

Meanwhile, Hiroe, who had lost the chance to latch onto Tarou as a dutifully rescued maiden would, and Madoka were busy fanning themselves near the back of the plane. 

"Well?" 

"I agree. Bishonen or not..." Hiroe took a deep breath. "Whooh." 

"I KNOW, isn't he gorgeous?" Madoka chuckled. "Here, I'm going to go talk to him." 

"Nooo... I'm the rescued one here. It's my job." 

Madoka watched Hiroe's back as she swayed as best she could with her admittedly modest equipment. Oh well, company policy prohibited REALLY taking advantage of the situation... of course, bumping into him in the lounge AFTER the flight would be perfectly fine. 

Then, to her absolute amazement, the man leap up with a look of absolute terror on his face, and ran down the aisle, knocking Hiroe over, rushing past Madoka, and - to the emergency exit?! 

Madoka glanced worriedly out the window. Oh god, oh no, oh god. 

There was a wrench of metal, and - to her utter amazement, only a gasp of wind. 

Instead of the sucking blast of air as the cabin repressurised, then the sensation of amazing lightness as she was suspended over ten thousand feet in the air... 

Nothing. Madoka carefully stepped around the corner... 

The man's suit was lying on the ground. The emergency exit had been ripped open, but, by some amazing feat of strength (and speed), it was now jammed back in place - slightly in from the normal frame. If an actual need for said exit arose, it'd be hell to open. 

"Oh... my... god." 

Madoka turned. Hiroe was back behind her. "What?" 

"What happened?" 

"I think he jumped - and shut the door?!" 

"Madoka, we're over ten thousand feet. The pressurisation alone would kill all of us." 

"I know. But look." 

"Oh.. my... god." 

"That's what *I* said." Madoka muttered. "Such a shame... what did you SAY, Hiroe?" 

"Nothing! I just said, 'Hey, thank you, my name's Hiroe; what's yours?'" 

From her seat at the window, Ukyou caught a glimpse of a vast brown wingspan before the huge white clouds engulfed what she was sure was Tarou's cursed form. "Inconsiderate jackass didn't even leave my water behind." she muttered. 

Ranma stood in the rain, the implications of her conversation with the Matriarch sinking in, when the scent of cherry-blossoms and cedar boughs wafted over her. She turned to face her new visitor. The figure of a young woman solidified, glowing softly with inner light. The woman wore a Chinese gown in red silk, her indigo hair in an elaborate style. She smiled sweetly at him, her eyes conveying nothing but pure, unadulterated love. "Shampoo..." She breathed. 

"Wo Ai Ni, Airen... Why Ranma so sad?" the spirit said in a sing-song voice that somehow conveyed both happiness and concern. "Did Great-Grandmother say mean things to you?" 

Ranma was unable to speak for the lump in her throat, streams of tears trickling down her cheeks despite the soft smile on her features. 

"Aiya! Ranma, why you cry? You not happy see Shampoo?" 

Ranma's voice choked as she tried to speak. 

"Is it... You? Really you?" 

"Mmm-Hmm! For real this time!" 

"S-shampoo, I..." She sobbed as she rushed forward to hug the apparition, mercifully solid in her embrace. 

The two hugged each other close for a time, great heaving sobs shaking Ranma's small frame. 

"Shampoo... Oh, Gods, I'm so sorry... Forgive me.. I let that monster..." 

"Hush, hush... Is okay, Airen... Is nothing to forgive." 

"No! You don't understand! It's my fault he did that to you!" 

"Why is your fault?" Shampoo asked, an honestly questioning tone to her voice. "Why Ranma say that?" 

"I wasn't there to protect you! I could have saved you!" 

Shampoo gently disengaged herself from the hug, holding a tearful Ranma at arm's length. 

"No, is not true, Airen. Mu-Tsu was too-too strong!" 

"B-but, I could have-" 

"Ranma, you listen to Shampoo, yes?" 

Ranma sniffled, wiping her nose, but nodded. 

"If Ranma was there, only one thing happen differently. Mu-Tsu kill Ranma too. That *last* thing Shampoo want for her Airen." 

"No! I would've beaten him! I should've-" 

"How Ranma do that, when even Hiibachan and Pervert Master no able? Shampoo have strong Airen, brave Airen, but no one person *that* strong..." 

Ranma enveloped her in her arms once more, still weeping. After a while the sobs became less violent, the intensity of the grief unchanged, yet somehow lightened, as if Ranma had needed to let it loose to purge herself of the poison. 

"Airen... Shampoo need to go, soon. Ancestors are waiting..." 

"Shampoo, I... I have to say something. I should have told you this a long, long time ago... I'm sorry I didn't love you, uh, the way that you wanted me to... I mean, you always tried to be so nice to me, and I know that... You, uh.." 

"Shampoo love you Airen, you know that always... Shampoo also wish that Airen could have felt about Shampoo the way she felt about her Airen, but..." She smiled sadly. "It okay, Ranma. Everyone come around again, yes? We have another chance, just like in other lives. You be Shampoo's one true love again someday..." 

She faded away, the scent of cherry blossoms and cedar wafting through the air. 

"Someday..." 

As the rain blew outside, the sound of flying keystokes filled the apartment, a staccatto accompaniment to the sussurus of water washing down the windows. The room was dark, illuminated only by the pale light of the monitor screen and the occasional flash of lightning. 

Tofu hunched over the computer, the English keyboard no hindrance as he filed his report, his mind consumed with thoughts of the past. 

Reaching over, he clicked the 'send encrypted file' icon with the mouse and sat back with a groan, listening to the hum and click of the modem as the mail made its way out over the ether. 

Constructing false reports to the Council was difficult, ill-advised, and a violation of his Oath, but he knew no other option was open to him. The Council of Watchers would never approve of his actions in the matter of the Nanban. Use of artifacts of such great power was grounds for excommunication from the Order. 

He sipped pensively at his tea. Now that his official duties were done, he could return to the matter at hand. Since his latest failure this afternoon, a certain calm had settled over the raging storm of his thoughts, a clarity that sharpened his mind. He knew without a doubt, what he had to do. 

Opening the drive, he inserted Jenny Calendar's spell disk and began browsing the files, searching for the incantation he knew lay buried within. The late Ms. Calendar had been a witch of surprisingly broad knowledge, he reflected. The wisdom he could glean from her writings would be immense. He wondered for a moment why Giles had never bothered to investigate this, instead leaving the disk in the hands of one of his students. Probably due to the older man's distrust of computers more than his grief over Calendar's death, he mused. He had known about their involvement from reading Giles' exhaustively comprehensive reports. It was in these reports that he first found mention of the strange case of the vampire named Angel, the powerful creature who had been the focus of Calendar's mission, as well as the cause of her death... 

With a soft chime, his browser found the incantation he was looking for. Setting down his tea, he leaned in, opening the SpellPerfect application in a new window and began to read the file. The spell was in Latin primarily, with a smattering of Romany, the language of the Gypsy folk of whom Calendar's clan had been a branch. Fortunately, both tongues were familiar to him, being required learning for Watchers. 

Perfect, he thought, his heart racing. With a slight alteration here, and again here... Fingers flying, he made the changes and clicked on the 'print' icon, glancing over at the Nanban where it lay on the desk. 

He'd save Kasumi-chan yet... 

Ranma perched on the wet girder, lost in introspection. She'd never really considered herself a very spiritual person. She'd grown up around Zen and Shinto, and there was the odd Christian at her old High School, but she'd never really paid much attention to that sort of thing beyond the very basics she'd learned as part and parcel of her martial arts training. Now, she was dealing with spirits and ghosts and afterlives, almost on a daily basis. Back home, she'd dealt with a few things that *claimed* to be divine or demonic beings, but they'd always turned out to be nothing but shams or egomaniacs. And now... what? She was talking to the ghosts of dead friends at the request of a strange American who vanishes into thin air... 

She sighed. Akane'd know what to do about this. After all, wasn't she the Slayer? This kind of weird shit is her job now. I'm just the bodyguard, and a poor one at that... I don't know what to do anymore... About my life, about how I feel about Akane... About Ucchan- 

Her train of thought was broken by a feeling of warmth on her back. She turned, a hopeful smile on her face. 

"Kasumi?" The apparation smiled softly in return. 

"Konbanwa, Ranma-kun..." 

She was dressed in a pale yellow formal kimono with a sky blue obi, her long brown hair in a loose ponytail that hung over her right shoulder. Sitting down delicately next to Ranma, she looked out over the lights of the rain washed city. 

"It's very pretty here, isn't it?" 

"Umm, yeah... Kasumi? Can I ask you something?" 

"Of course, Ranma-kun." She smiled indulgently. 

"What's it like, being, uh..." 

"Dead? Oh, I don't know... It's very much like being alive, only... different." 

"Oh, gee thanks Kasumi. That's *really* clear..." Ranma said, exasperated. Kasumi merely gave another of her patented inscrutable smiles. 

"Well, it's very hard to explain... I visited with Mother for a while, and we looked in on Father and Nabiki together... Actually, we've been watching you and Akane a fair amount." 

"Hunh? Really?" 

"Oh my, yes. You two are really quite a focus for a lot of attention, you know... Mother said to say that she approves of you..." 

"Really?" 

"Mmm-hmm... She thinks you're a very good match for Akane." 

"Wow..." Ranma took a moment to process this. "So is that all you do when you're dead? Keep an eye on your families?" 

"Well, for awhile. Eventually, I suppose we'll be reincarnated again. I'm rather looking forward to that." 

"So you don't like being dead?" 

"I'd really much prefer to be alive, Ranma-kun." She said, gasping a little as she saw Ranma's guilty expression. "Oh my! You musn't think I blame you for that, Ranma. What I meant was, the afterlife isn't paradise... It's this life, this world, that's paradise." 

"You're kidding! It doesn't get any better than this?! That's not exactly inspiring, y'know." Kasumi laughed merrily. 

"Of course it is! Being with the ones we love, enjoying life, taking care of each other, *that's* what our purpose is. The Kami want us to be happy, not tear ourselves up with guilt over things we cannot change." 

"How am I supposed to be *happy*? Monsters are *out* there, Kasumi, you know that more than most. Bad things happen to good people, and it's not fair..." 

"No, it's not fair, but it's life. In all it's joy and sorrow, life is the most precious gift the Kami have given us. Enjoy what you have, Imotosan. Love my sister, and be kind to each other. Love your friends while you have them, and know that you'll see them again in your next lives. That's my advice to you." 

"Still waters run deep..." Ranma breathed, smiling softly at the woman who'd been almost a mother to her for the last two years. 

"Well, I'm glad someone notices..." Kasumi said with a smile. "Oh my! You're crying again! Did I upset you? I'm sorry!" 

"N-No.." Ranma sniffled, a sad smile on her face. "I j-just, uh... really miss you, Kasumi... Akane does too..." 

"That's very sweet, Ranma, but you need to understand that I'm happy now... That's why I needed to speak to you, to make you understand that I, that *we* are all right. Just remember what Kuh-lohn and Shampoo told you. We all-" 

"Come around again, I know..." Ranma leaned her head into Kasumi's lap, sniffling. Kasumi stroked her hair affectionately, as if she were a small child. 

"Kasumi, why are you here? I mean, Why are you talking to me instead of Akane? Not that I mind, but she's your sister, she'd want to hear this too..." 

"Akane doesn't need to hear these things, Ranma, you do. She understands what you're only now just figuring out, that life is sometimes unfair, and that the people we care about can be taken from us at any time. When we lost Mother all those years ago, she discovered these truths on her own. You can honor the past, but you can't live in it. Life is too precious to spend grieving over things you can't undo. I'm honored that you two cared so much about me, but you can't keep tearing yourself up over this. You two have more important things to worry about..." 

Ranma sat up, alarmed at the worried tone in Kasumi's voice. 

"Like what? What's going on?" 

"It's very important that you two... hmm? What's that?" She tilted her head as if listening to something far away. 

"What's what? I don't hear anything... Kasumi?!" The apparition faded, then reappeared. Kasumi wore a frightened expression on her usually serene face. "Kasumi!! What's wrong?!" 

"No! No, don't! Leave me alone...!!" She screamed, a sound of pure terror. Ranma grew frantic. She tried to reach out, somehow comfort or help Kasumi, but her hands passed right through her. 

"Kasumi! How can I help?! Please!" 

"Tofu-Sensei, PLEASE!!!" 

"Tofu-Sensei..? What's he got to do with... Is he hurt? Does he need help? Tell me!!" Kasumi's image wavered, then winked out. 

"KASUMI!!" 

Xander stood up, pulling away from the pile of women's underthings he'd assembled in his basement room. He looked around suspiciously, almost sniffing the air. 

"Whazzat? Hey-yyyyy... Somebody's using my mirror!! 

****************************** TO BE CONTINUED.......... ****************************** 

Leaping Gnome Productions, 1999. 

Authors: Dave Menard and Rick Hall. 

C+C to: catthouse@lweb.net or talen_@optusnet.com.au 

For answers to FAQ, or to read the most current versions of previous chapters, visit Akane The Vampire Slayer's Homepage: http:/matrix.crosswinds.net/~ksna/ 

Next time, on Akane The Vampire Slayer: What happened to Kasumi? What's wrong with Xander? Will Ranma get his/her cojones back? All these questions answered and more in the next episode!!! 

Thanks once more to the ATVS crack pre-reading squad, as well as the C+Cers on the FFML, especially Allyn, whose insightful comments have improved these fics considerably. 

Some folks have expressed interest in doing side-stories or side-fics set in this universe. Great, terrific, cool as all hell. Just ask first, 'kay? A Ryouga side-fic is in progress, detailing exactly what everyone's favorite Pig-Boy has been up to; it'll also detail a bit of back-story, and address what's happened to the rest of the old Nerima Wrecking Crew. A possible Angel side-fic is in the discussion stages as well, but nothing's finalized yet. If you're interested in reading or writing ATVS/KSNA spinoffs or side stories, let us know!! 


	4. Default Chapter Title

KYUUKETSUKI NO SATSUJINHA'NIN AKANE/AKANE THE VAMPIRE SLAYER A BTVS/Ranma1/2 Fusion by Leaping Gnome Productions EPISODE FOUR 

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Some scenes in this chapter have already appeared in the shortfic "Ryouga's Story." 

DISCLAIMER: The BTVS and Ranma characters and situations are copyright Joss Whedon and Rumiko Takahashi respectively, and are used here without permission but with the greatest respect and admiration. Please forgive me for playing in your pools, cursed or otherwise. Devil Hunter Yohko characters are copyright Miyao Gaku and others. Certain other characters are borrowed from Dreiser(Nicole Manders) and Wade Trischler, with their generous permission. 

LAST TIME, ON AKANE THE VAMPIRE SLAYER:There's a new Slayer in Sunnydale and her name is Akane Tendou, a Japanese martial artist who has been Called to replace Faith. Along with her fiancee, Ranma Saotome, (a young man cursed to turn into a girl when hit with cold water,) and her Watcher, Dr. Tofu Ono, she has arrived in Sunnydale to learn at the feet of Buffy Summers, the first Slayer of her generation. Unfortunately, Akane's been followed by Mu-Tsu, Xian-Pu and their minions, Chinese vampires who are responsible for the destruction of the Tendou family Dojo and the deaths of several of Akane's friends and family. 

While Ranma, Willow, Xander and Oz tried to escape the clutches of Xian-Pu and her minions at the Bronze, Akane and Buffy fought an all-out battle at the Sunnydale Museum of Natural History to prevent Mu-Tsu from getting his hands on the Nanban Mirror, a magical device that can take its wielder anywhere in time or space. The vampires were driven off, leaving our heroes in possession of the Nanban and their lives. 

Three weeks later, the extended Slayer squad is in heavy training, preparing to use the Nanban to travel back in time to prevent the tragedy at the Tendo-ke. Unbeknownst to all, however, Tofu has already been tampering with the timestream. 

Ukyou Kuonjii, friend and so-called "cute fiancee" of Ranma, encountered an old enemy of the Ranma crew on a transcontinental flight, realized that the Sunnydale gang needed to be warned of his impending arrival. 

Ranma, distraught at his inability to be there to save his friends, became despondent, and was visited by the ghosts of dead friends and allies, providing some much needed closure. 

To add to the general weirdness, Xander has undergone a massive personality shift, not to mention the fact that Spike has returned to Sunnydale, in search of a particular Gem... 

IN EVERY GENERATION, THERE IS A CHOSEN ONE.... 

TOKYO, SUBURB OF JUUBAN, JAPAN 

The tattered-looking young man stopped in front of the fence that surrounded the small suburban house. He stared hard at the address, then down at a crumpled piece of yellow legal paper clutched in his hand. 

"Finally! After searching for so very long..." Tears trickled down his cheeks. "Akane! I'm here to protect you at last!!" 

He'd arrived at the Tendou Dojo a little over a month ago to find the home in ruins, his beloved Akane and her family gone. Queries around the neighborhood has been met with only a stony silence, as though the residents of the district had no interest in discussing whatever force or forces had levelled the Tendou home. When he'd checked the usual hangouts of the loosely affiliated band of martial artists who made the ward their regular stomping grounds, he'd found the Nekohanten deserted. He checked Akane's favorite kissaten, but the coffee shop had been likewise been free of martial artists. There hadn't been any sign of the gang at Furinkan, either. Finally, he'd found his way to Ucchan's Okonomiyaki, where a grim Ukyou had informed him that the Tendous had moved away, but she'd be happy to give him directions to where they were staying. It was a long trip to Juuban. (At least, it had been for him.) 

Haphazardly, he brushed the dust of the road from his worn clothes and backpack, determined to look every inch the returning hero for his beloved. Striding forward with a confidence he barely felt, he rushed up the front walk and pushed the doorbell. A second later, a vase full of cool water and red roses spilled down over his head. Female voices echoed from above. 

"Azusa! Watch where you're going! You knocked over the flowers Osamu-kun sent!" 

"Sorry, Yohko-sempai, but maybe you shouldn't have put them on the window sill... Auntie Madoka warned you about that... Did you hear the doorbell?" 

"Don't worry. Saotome-san'll get it." 

On the stoop below, a small black pig bemoaned the quirk of fate that made his head an irresistible target for spilled water. A moment later, the door swung open, revealing the familiar black and white form of a giant panda bearing a wooden sign. Scrawled hastily on the board were the words "May I help you?" 

The pig let out a frustrated squeal. The panda blinked, looked down and flipped the sign around to reveal the legend "Oh, it's you... Well, come in..." 

The piglet trotted inside, stopping to shake himself dry in the foyer before preceding the panda into the living room. With a grunt, the panda hefted the pig's soggy clothing, backpack and umbrella under one forepaw and followed. 

The pig glanced around the room in expectation, but no beautiful, black-haired, brown-eyed goddess appeared to scoop him up in loving arms. He turned to the panda. 

"Hroink?" He said, questioningly. 

The panda merely shrugged, producing a well-worn sign that read "Don't ask me, I'm just an ordinary panda." The pig sighed a piggy sigh in frustration. 

Just then, his perspective shifted as he was lifted up by his kerchief. His squeal of bliss became an oink of disappointment as he was turned to face a pair of cynical, cold dark eyes framed by an elegant bob of chocolate-brown hair. This wasn't his sweet Akane! 

"Tsk. Ryouga." Nabiki said, her tone cooler than usual. 

"What a kawaii little piglet!" A high, bubbly voice chirped from across the room. 

"Hroink?" 

Two teenaged girls dashed down the stairs, their eyes wide with pleased surprise. The taller of the two, a brunette with hair done up in an odd odango-style trailing two long ponytails, looked to be around nineteen, the same age as Nabiki. The shorter of the two was around eighteen, perhaps a bit younger, and wore her midnight black hair in a shoulder- length style parted in the center, her bangs kept out of her shining blue eyes with a white bandanna. Both were dressed in school uniforms of a style and color Ryouga didn't recognize. The rushed over, oohing and ahhing over him. 

"Nabiki, where did you find him? He's adorable! Can I hold him?" The shorter girl said eagerly. 

"Whatever..." Nabiki tossed Ryouga's startled form over to the younger girl with an offhanded gesture. "His name's P- Chan, he used to belong to my sister. Knock yourselves out." She wandered into the kitchen. The girl hugged P-Chan tightly to her chest, causing the small black pig to squeak as the air was forced from his tiny lungs. 

"Ooooh, Akane is just so-o lucky..." The elder girl said enviously. "First that hunky fiancee and now this kawaii lil' guy..." She tickled P-Chan under his chin. "Who's a cutie? Who's a cutie? P-Chan is... Yes, that's right, coochie- coochie..." She giggled, then stopped, staring oddly at the piglet. "Azusa?" 

"What, Yohko-sempai? You'll get your turn..." 

"No, it's just... D'you think he's supposed to turn blue like that?" 

"Oh!" She loosened her grip, and P-Chan's panting face slowly returned to its usual color. "I'm sorry, lil' P-Chan! I'll kiss it better..." 

With that, she leaned forward, and gave him a gentle peck on the nose. His reaction startled her, to say the least, as the piglet's snout suddenly fountained blood and the animal went limp in her arms. 

"Oh no! You've killed him!" Yohko shrieked. Azusa joined her, shaking the poor piglet in a desperate attempt to wake him, to no avail. 

"Relax, ladies..." said Nabiki, walking back in from the kitchen and holding a kettle of hot water. "He does this all the time. Set him down on the futon, will you?" They complied, worried. 

Nonchalantly, Nabiki doused the comatose pig in a stream of scaldingly hot water. With a shout, a pink-skinned Ryouga jumped up, his hands covering strategic parts of his anatomy. 

"AAAAAAA! HotHotHot!!!!" 

"EEep!" Yohko squeaked. 

"Neat!" Azusa said. 

"That'll be 500 yen, Ryouga." 

Nabiki said this last with an unemotional tone that Ryouga found disturbing. He didn't know the middle Tendou sister all that well, but she usually took some amusement in others' discomfort, especially if she was making a profit from it. Come to think of it, since when did she know about his curse? 

Come to think of it, why was he sitting here naked with these strange girls staring at him? 

His brain hit the panic button, and shut down. Ryouga fainted. 

LOS ANGELES INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, 1:05 am 

The sleek black convertible parked at the arrivals gate and disgorged its lone occupant. The tall, dark-haired man glanced up at the sky, trying to divine whether it was going to rain or not. Preferring to err on the side of caution, he leaned back in and toggled the roof closed before activating the alarm and entering the terminal. 

Even at this hour, the terminal was a teeming mass of humanity, the sheer number of people boggled his enhanced senses. Wincing slightly, he shouldered his way through the herd towards the LED sign displaying the arriving planes by number and gate. Quantas Flight 141 was due in about twenty minutes. 

Taking a seat as soon as one became available, he instinctively scanned the crowd, his keen hunters eye spotting the weak, the old, the ones who would not be missed. With a scowl, he dismissed the thoughts. His senses, refined over two hundred and forty-four years, still insisted on performing tasks he no longer required. Well, he amended, tasks I longer DESIRE to require. Discreetly, he sipped at the silver flask he kept in the inside breast pocket of his coat. Being amidst this many mortals at once was a strain he'd endure, but only because SHE asked him to... 

When he'd answered the phone and heard her sweet voice, he'd almost hung up right there and then, the pain of his own self-imposed exile still too recent, too deep. Some part of him, however, (the human part, his mind assured him), wouldn't let him. She needed a man who could give her the life she deserved- a life full of joy, of picnics in the park on a sunny day, the simple warmth of an embrace, children... But didn't HE deserve to hear her voice again? Even if it was only a tinny echo over the telephone? 

He sighed, a wholly affected gesture since his lungs contained air only so long as he remembered to breathe. He went over the conversation in his mind. A friend of her houseguests' was coming into L.A. tonight from Japan, and was almost certainly in danger from some kind of sociopathic martial artist named for women's undergarments. Despite himself, he chuckled. Buffy still ended up in the center of things, the stranger, the better. It was good to know that SOME things never changed... 

Once he'd agreed to help, the remainder of the conversation had been terse, platitudes and pleasantries exchanged as if the rote repetition of cliches could dull the heartache they both felt. After he'd hung up, he'd spent hours trying to remind himself of why exactly he'd left her, why he'd thought that life apart would somehow be less painful for them both. Somehow the rationale seemed less compelling in retrospect... 

He shook his head. This much angst was almost TOO much, even for him. He glanced at his watch. Almost time. He stood and prepared to wade back into the throng when a voice came over the loudspeaker. 

"Attention ladies and gentlemen. Quantas Flight 141 from Sydney via Tokyo has arrived, but due to some mechanical problems passenger deplaning will be temporarily delayed." 

The message repeated in English then again in Spanish. He paused, unpleasantly surprised. If he hadn't been warned to expect trouble, he might simply have shrugged the announcement off as one of the inevitable delays that accompanied air travel. Since he DID know better, though... 

He made his way over to the observation window and peered out, spotting the 747 bearing the red Quantas logo almost instantly. It had taxied up to the accordion-like shape of the disembarkation platform, but the tarmac alongside the plane was abuzz with activity. Mechanics, technicians and airport EMS staff scurried around like angry hornets. An upwards glance revealed that there was some visible damage to the side of the plane. One of the emergency exits looked as though it had been wrenched off its hinges then jammed back into place with sufficient force to damage the surrounding fuselage. As he watched, the hatch of the rear emergency exit swung open, the disembarkation stairs wheeling into place. 

Alarmed, he forced himself back through the crowd to the doors and dashed along the side of the structure towards the airfield, hurdling the security fence as though it were nothing more than a bump in the road. Relying on all the native stealth his form possessed, he made his way across the tarmac to the scene, miraculously remaining unobserved by all. 

As he watched, passengers began climbing down the steel stairs, carry on bags in hand, into the waiting arms of EMS personnel who gave them each a brief once-over before directing them towards the terminal. 

He'd been told to keep an eye open for a Japanese girl, possibly carrying a baker's peel. That last had set him to thinking that maybe this was Buffy's idea of a joke, but she'd assured him that her guests swore that the large spatula never left the girl's side if she could help it. Two or three young women fit the description, but none of them were toting an enormous spatula. One in particular drew his eye. He cocked an eyebrow as she shrugged off the attentions of the EMS. She was tallish, he noted, (for a Japanese girl,) maybe five-seven-five-eight with long dark hair held in a pony tail with a white scrunchy. Her clothes were ordinary enough, a pair of well-worn loose blue jeans and a mannishly-cut navy T-shirt. She seemed unharmed, no visible bruises, and his hunter's instinct told him she was in excellent physical condition. She betrayed no sign of nervousness under his close scrutiny, at least not to any greater degree than any of the other passengers. She fit the bill better than any of the other girls, but there was no sign of her supposed attacker. Was that a good or bad thing, he wondered? 

He backed away from his vantage point behind a baggage cart and made his way back towards the fence, intending to meet the mysterious Ukyou Kuonjii at the baggage claim since she seemed unharmed. If all went well, he'd simply keep her company then see her safely on to her flight to Sunnydale at six. 

Ukyou strode across the tarmac towards the gate, her eyes rapidly scanning the area as she walked. She had the strangest feeling that she was being watched. Of course you are, she mentally chided herself. There's security people and medical personnel all around you, not to mention customs agents, and she KNEW she could smell lawyers in abundance... Still, her subconscious warned her, SOMEthing is out there, something that's paying particular attention to YOU. It was an unsettling feeling, but nevertheless one she was familiar with. She'd been dodging Tsubasa long enough to recognize the fact that she was being watched with more than just casual interest. 

Well, there's not much I can do about it right now, she thought. First things first, I need to find a phone. Ranchan must be worried sick... 

Entering the terminal, she passed through customs easily, her visa and passport in order. Her baker's peel had raised a few eyebrows, but since it certainly didn't LOOK like any sort of weapon, she was allowed to pass, but she'd had to check her trusty spat as baggage. When pressed, she merely told the truth, that it was a family heirloom she didn't want to risk losing in a baggage mix-up. The customs officials had been sympathetic, but still insisted on tagging it and forced her to pay freight shipping rates, to boot. Second order of business was to make sure it was all right. She headed over to the first available courtesy phone. 

Hurriedly, she swiped her credit card through the reader and punched in the number of the Summers residence. The phone rang twice before it was picked up. 

"Hello?" A female voice said in American-accented English. Ukyou cleared her throat and began, her English accented but still understandable. 

"Good evening. My name is Kuonjii Ukyou. Is Ran- er, is Saotome Ranma present?" 

The voice on the other end of the line said something away from the receiver, then returned. 

"This is Ucchan? Hi! I'm Buffy. Hold on a 'sec, 'kay? Akane's here..." The phone was passed off, and a familiar voice answered in Japanese. 

"" Ukyou detected a surprising concern in her sometimes-rival's voice. She tried to keep the shock from her voice when she responded. 

"_" _

"" 

"" 

"" A happy glow warmed Ukyou's heart at that thought. Akane continued, nonplussed. "" 

"" Akane hesitated for a moment, wondering exactly how much Ukyou would be comfortable knowing. 

"" 

"" 

"" 

"" 

"" 

"" 

"" 

"" Ukyou retorted sarcastically. "" She sighed. "" 

"" Akane said tersely, a little heat in her tone. 

"" 

"" Akane hung up abruptly on her end, causing Ukyou to wince slightly. 

Hmm, touched a nerve, did I? She chuckled to herself. Well... good. Akane's not as annoying as Shampoo is, (WAS, she winced guiltily as she corrected herself,) but she still owes me for taking Ranchan away like that, evil undead on their tails or not. 

Speaking of the evil undead, she thought, I bet that explains that creepy feeling I had earlier... I didn't sense any hostile intent, but who can tell with creatures of darkness? Not that I've had a lot of experience in that department... 

Mentally on the alert, she walked over to the baggage carousel, fishing in her pocket for her claim stub. She collected her suitcases and her beloved spatula, (drawing odd looks from her fellow passengers) and glanced around for this "Angel"... 

She spotted a tall caucasian man in a trenchcoat looking in her direction. Experimentally, she reached out with her rudimentary Ki sense, and encountered only a hungry vacuum where she would have expected to find at least a glimmer of life energy. 

He noticed her scrutiny and tried on a cautious smile she expected was supposed to put her at ease. Reaching into his coat, he pulled out a piece of cardboard and held it up facing her. Sloppily written hiragana characters were inscribed on it in black magic marker, misspelling her name. Despite herself, she smiled. It was hard to be wary when faced with an immortal creature of darkness who's handwriting was worse than Ranchan's... She walked over, hauling her suitcases. 

"Hi... " The vampire said awkwardly in Japanese. His Nihongo held a slight European accent, but was remarkably good nonetheless. If anything, it was fairly archaic, reminding Ukyou of her great-grandfather's speech patterns. He continued as she acknowledged him with a wary glance. "I'm a friend of a friend of Ranma..." 

"So you're Angel, hmm?" Ukyou responded. "I thought you'd be taller..." Privately, she was impressed. His features were strikingly handsome, and his eyes held a kind of wry sadness that belonged on the face of a much older man. "You don't LOOK dead..." 

He looked surprised for a moment. 

"How did... Oh. You checked in with Buffy." She nodded, carefully watching his expression. "She told you that I'm, er... ?" 

"Yeah... And I'm not too keen on becoming a late night snack, sugar, so keep your pointy parts to yourself. This spatula isn't just for flipping okonomiyaki, y'know." 

"Fair enough, but I don't really do that anymore..." 

"Right. So I've been told. Just so it's understood." She let down her defenses a little bit all the same. "You don't really need to do this, actually. Pantyhose is long gone." 

"That's all right. I made a promise to Buffy that I'd look out for you. It's no problem..." He smiled, in what he knew from years of practice was an ingratiating manner. "What kind of a name is Pantyhose, anyway?" 

"What kind of a name is Angel?" 

He shrugged disarmingly. "My parents were enthusiastically into Catholicism." "Pantyhose's godfather was enthusiastically into lingerie." 

"Oh-kayy..." Angel looked mildly confused for a moment, but brushed it off. An awkward silence ensued. 

Ukyou was the first to crack."Could you give me a hand with these?" She nodded down at the suitcases. "I need to get these over to my connecting flight." 

"Hmm, what? Oh, okay..." He shook his head as if to clear it. Something in the atmosphere was making his mind itch, but he couldn't localise the sensation. Shrugging, he hefted the two bags easily. "Lead on..." 

Unbeknownst to Ukyou and Angel, they too were being observed, by a pair of almond-shaped sapphire eyes, eyes that saw on more levels than the mundane dimension that was (if only by majority consensus) called reality. They were attached to a statuesque Chinese woman who gave the appearance of being in her mid-twenties. She was stylishly dressed, her golden-blonde hair was done up into a conservative bun held in place by a silver hairpin bearing a delicate dragon filigree. Her companion was a younger girl of about eighteen, her pink hair done up in an exotic odango-style with jade ornaments and a pair of delicately-wrought golden earrings in the shape of tiny axes. The girl, despite her exotic looks, was wearing the uniform of teenagers across the globe, a loose T-shirt and blue jeans over sneakers. Both women shared a basic similarity of feature that indicated a close family resemblance. 

"Hmm... Interesting." The golden-haired woman said in delicate Mandarin, following the vampire and the martial artist with those piercing sapphire eyes. Her younger companion looked up. 

"What was that, Grandmother?" 

"That couple over there... What can you tell me about them?" 

The teenager glanced in the direction her elder had indicated and sniffed the air. Frowning, she turned back to her companion. 

"The Japanese seems... familiar somehow. Should I know her?" The older woman smiled faintly. "No, I suppose not. And the man?" "It's odd, Grandmother, but he smells... wrong. Cold. Is he a threat?" 

"No, not that one. But do let me know if you detect any others like him, hmm?" 

"Of course, if you wish..." 

The golden-haired woman nodded with a fond smile at her pink-haired companion, before placing her right hand lightly on the younger girl's shoulder. Her left hand moved upwards in a slicing motion, leaving a thin trail of honey-colored light in its wake, which quickly stretched into a vertical beam about six feet high. She stepped forwards into the line of light, drawing her companion with her. In a moment, the two were gone as though they had never been, the light fading behind them. 

The milling crowds took no notice of their departure, just as they had taken no notice of their arrival moments before... 

Back at the Summers home, Akane sat down with an angry look on her face. Buffy looked over, dismayed. 

"What's up, Akane? I thought you'd be happy your friend's okay." 

"OOooh... She's NOT... " Akane took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "Ukyou's more Ranma's friend than mine. Remember, she's one of his many *other* fiancees... " 

"Oh yeah... I take it you two have a little rivalry going on?" Akane nodded, still sulking. "So Ranma doesn't know that she's got the hots for him?" 

"Oh, he KNOWS... " Akane growled, then continued a little more calmly. "To be fair, he doesn't encourage her... As far as he's concerned, they're just friends. I think... They HAVE known each other since they were five..." 

"Hmm, I detect a little green-eyed-monster action here... I thought you said you didn't like Ranma." she added, teasingly. Akane scowled. 

"Well, I... Are you kidding? I'm just worried about him, that's all." 

"Su-ure... So that nice little scene I walked in on in the yard was just 'cause you're worried about the lug, huh?" 

"Honestly, Buffy! We were just about to... Spar! Yeah, that's it, sparring!" 

"Yeah, that's the ticket..." Buffy said, smirking. 

"Well, think whatever you want. It doesn't make it true." She stood, resigned. "Now I get to go deliver the good news. If I can find him..." 

"You want a hand?" 

"I guess so... It looks like the rain is finally letting up. Do we need to tell your Mom we're going out?" 

"No, she'd only worry. Well, it would increase her constant level of worridom, anyway. She's such a pain about that sometimes..." Akane gave her an odd look. 

"I'd think you'd be... Oh, never mind, not my business." 

"What? What's not your business?" 

"Well, it's just that I think it's great that you have a Mom to worry about you. But, like I said, it's really not my place to say anything. Can we go now?" 

"Uh... Yeah, sure..." 

JUUBAN, JAPAN 

Ryouga came to on the couch, someone having dressed him in his slightly damp clothes. As his eyes focused, he took in his surroundings from his prone perspective. The two strange girls and the panda were looking at him with varying looks of concern, while Nabiki was going through his wallet. 

"Hey!! Put that down!!" 

Nabiki glanced over unconcerned as she replaced the battered leather billfold on the coffee table with a shrug. 

"Fine. Pay me when you can." She stood and walked up the stairs, oblivious to Ryouga's scowl. The two new girls watched her go, and an odd look of sympathy passed between them before they returned their attention to the strange (and fairly handsome, in a rumpled sort of way) boy who'd appeared in their living room. 

Ryouga blushed awkwardly, and sat up. 

"Uhhh, gomen, folks... " Both girls smiled understandingly. 

"That's okay," said the odango-girl with a smile. "You've just got one of those Jusenkyo curses like Saotome-san, right?" 

"H-hunh? Uh, yeah, that's right... You're not mad, or upset?" 

"Why should we be mad? I should really apologize to YOU for knocking that vase out the window and on to your head." The shorter of the two girls said, with a winning smile that made Ryouga's ears turn pink. "I'm Kanzaki Azusa, Apprentice Devil Hunter, and this is my sempai, Manou Yohko, the 109th Devil Hunter. What's your name, sir?" 

"Uhh, Hibiki Ryouga. D-did you say that you're a Devil Hunter? What's that mean?" 

"I'll tell you what it means!!" A voice said from the doorway. The trio turned to see a girl about Yohko's age taking off her sneakers and stepping into a pair of slippers. "It means that she's fully capable of meeting all your exorcism and monster-slaying needs! For a reasonable fee, of course..." She had chestnut hair worn loose to her shoulders and sported a pair of stylish eyeglasses over her sky blue eyes. She was dressed fashionably in the latest style of jogging gear. Yohko greeted her cheerfully. 

"Hiya Chi! You're here early!" 

"Well, I needed to talk to Nab-chan about our latest promotional campaign before we went out shopping. Now, Mr. Wet-Stranger, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Ogawa Chikako, Devil Hunter Manager extraordinaire and all-around financial genius. Are you in need of my client's expertise? Oni in the bathtub? Youma in your garden? What seems to be the trouble?" She strode over confidently, sitting down across from Ryouga and looking him over speculatively. 

"Uh.. No, no... I'm just looking for a-a f-friend, I guess... Is Tendou Akane here? A mutual friend told me she was staying here." 

The three girls exchanged a worried glance. Azusa finally took pity on the handsome scruffy boy and filled him in. 

"I'm very sorry, Hibiki-san, but Tendou-san left almost a month ago for America with my cousin Ranma and Tofu-Sensei." 

The whine of a cicada echoed in the silence. The wind-chime in the window tinkled once in the faint breeze. 

"L-left? For America?! She's g-gone?!!" 

"I'm afraid so," Azusa said sympathetically. 

"With... Ranma?" 

Azusa nodded. 

"Why?" 

"Well, after what happened in Nerima, they had to leave the country. They went to a place called Sunnydale to train with a famous Demon-Hunter, a girl who studies an art very similar to Yohko-sempai's." 

"What happened in Nerima? Why won't anyone tell me?!!" Ryouga yelled, frustrated. "What does all this have to do with some American Demon-Hunter?" 

"It's not really my place to say, Hibiki-san..." Azusa said, bowing her head. 

"Well then whose is it?! Damn it, Akane is the girl I l-l-l... Well, she's a very good friend!! Why can't anyone tell me what happened?!" He looked around the room, frustrated beyond measure. The three girls looked away guiltily. The panda merely played with his beachball. 

"That's it, old man! You're gonna do some talking!" Ryouga strode over and grabbed the panda by the scruff of his neck and dragged the beast into the kitchen, kicking and growling. 

Finding another kettle on the boil, he turned off the gas and dumped the hot water over the panda, triggering a metamorphosis into a middle-aged man wearing glasses, a white gi and a kerchief covering his bald head. He had the look of a once powerful man gone slightly to seed. 

"Now now, boy. There's no need to be so rough about it..." 

"Shut up! You're gonna tell me what happened in Nerima, and you're gonna tell me now!!!" He raised a fist menacingly, causing Saotome Genma to sigh. 

"All right, all right, settle down, boy. Let me up, and I'll tell you everything... In the living room." 

"Okay, but don't even TRY to get out of this!" 

The two men walked back into the living room and sat down. Genma assumed a pensive pose that looked altogether too well-rehearsed for Ryouga's liking. Azusa and Yohko sat patiently nearby, while Chi bowed out to go visit Nabiki upstairs. 

"Azusa dear, would you be so kind as to fetch me a cup of tea?" 

"Certainly, Uncle." The petite girl hurried into the kitchen, dragging a recalcitrant Yohko by the ponytails behind her. 

"Where do I begin?" Genma said pensively. "Hmm. I suppose it all started when Mousse returned from China once more..." 

In the kitchen, the two girls eavesdropped discreetly while waiting for the kettle to boil. 

"Why'd you drag me in here, Azusa? that boy is so-o cute!" 

"Yohko-sempai, could you PLEASE think about something other than boy-chasing for a change? Hibiki-san will no doubt be very upset when he finds out what happened to Cousin Ranma and his iinazuke's family. He seems to be very fond of Akane-chan, don't you think?" 

"Awww... Akane-chan has all the luck..." 

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that on the grounds that it makes you sound like a dingbat, Sempai." 

"What?!" 

"Akane-chan has just gone through a horrible tragedy, and you think she's lucky?! Tsk. Poor Hibiki-san..." 

"Hmm? I think YOU'RE the one who's boy-chasing, Azusa. 'Poor Hibiki-san', indeed." 

"Well, he seems like a very nice boy, and he doesn't have a chance with Akane-chan... There's just something about him that makes me want to take care of him..." 

"Ooh! You ARE sweet on him! Wait'll I tell Chi!" 

"Don't you dare!" 

"I will, so there!" Yohko pulled a red-eye and laughed. 

"Yohko-sempai, you are SO immature!!" "Nyahh!" 

The girls re-entered the living room with two cups of tea as Genma finished telling his tale. "... So my son and Akane left with Tofu-Sensei to train under this Summers person. Nabiki, my wife and I came to stay here with the Manous while Soun-kun recovers in the hospital. I fear that the loss of poor Kasumi was too much for him. He's never been the same since Kimiko-chan passed away so many years ago, and now this..." He sighed, shaking his head. "Our only consolation is that the Master perished as well. Thank the Kami for small mercies..." 

"Excuse me for a minute, will you?" Ryouga said mechanically, walking out the front door and closing it behind him. No one failed to notice the flickering bands of dark energy that were gathering around the Lost Boy's body. "SHI... SHI... HOUKOUDAN!!!!!!!!" The girls exchanged puzzled glances, before wincing as a bright flash went off outside, accompanied by a guttural yell and shockwave that blew out the front windows in a hail of glass. 

The occupants of the living room picked themselves up off the floor and were joined by a panicked Chi and a nonplussed Nabiki. "Saotome-san, what happened?! What was that?!" Yohko cried, brushing bits of glass from her fuku. Genma sat, impassive, as a bit of ceiling plaster bounced off his head. 

"The boy was just letting off some steam, that's all. He gets upset easily." 

Yohko, Azusa and Chi's eyes widened. Chi was the first to recover. 

"WHAT?! Who's going to pay for the damages?! This is ridiculous!" 

Nabiki walked up behind her and draped her arms over Chi's shoulders. 

"Don't worry, Chi-baby. Pig-boy has a fat wallet. I made sure to check..." She said wryly. "C'mon, let's go back to our little project, hmm?" Chi blushed a deep crimson and tittered nervously as Nabiki led her back upstairs by the hand. 

Yohko stared after the duo, noticing that Chi's T-Shirt was on inside out. No way... 

Azusa merely smiled benevolently. "Those two are such good friends!" 

JAPAN, ROUGHLY ONE MONTH AGO 

The three figures trudged wearily through the night-darkened forest of memorial stones, their footsteps crunching on the dry white gravel path. The lead figure bore a small black satchel in one trembling hand, the other clutching a flashlight to illuminate their progress. His two younger companions followed silently, absently scanning the area with haunted eyes for any other signs of movement. 

Not a day earlier, the trio, and many others, had walked this same path, bearing the remains of one who was once a beloved sister and hoped-for lover to what the majority of mourners had thought would be her final resting place. To their sorrow, these three knew that this was not to be. 

They stopped their trek at the Tendou family plot, the beam of the torch alighting on the shrine, a larger mirror image of the one at the dojo, stopping for a moment on the two most recent inscriptions. The first, perhaps ten years old but still unweathered, bore the name "Tendou Kimiko". The latest, the inscribed letters fresh, read "Tendou Kasumi". With a shuddering sigh, the man switched off the light and turned to face his young charges. 

"Akane, Ranma... " 

"Hai, Tofu-Sensei." They took flanking positions at the Sensei's side, their back to his. Mu-Tsu and Xian-Pu's whereabouts were still unaccounted for, and a watch had to kept. Both teenagers were tired, and more than a little scared. What they were about to do was terrifying even to contemplate, but their experiences over the last week ensured that they were well aware of the necessity of their actions. Kasumi's soul had to be put back on the wheel of karma, and her body had to be put to rest. It was their duty to the memory of the sweet, innocent girl whose peace they were about to ensure. 

Tofu knelt in front of the small shrine that contained the mortal remains of the only woman he'd ever truly loved. He said a small prayer to whatever deities would listen, then stood with a grunt. 

"The demon has not yet stirred. Take your places. We must wait for the creature to appear before we complete our task." 

The teens nodded, stepping back into the concealing shadows with their mentor. 

It is a credit to the skill of their assailant that not one of the three skilled fighters took notice of his approach, up until the moment that they collapsed unconscious at his touch. Quickly, silently, he produced a small bottle of shampoo and lathered up the heads of his insensate victims. With the judicious application of pressure to various points on the cranium, he made sure that the trio would remember only that which he wished them to remember; that they had arrived at the Tendou Shrine and had performed their duty. With no more noise than he made approaching, he faded back into the night, masking his presence completely. 

In a moment, all three sat up and glanced around in momentary confusion, before gathering their equipment and leaving the way they came, muffled sniffles and sobs echoing in their wake. 

When he was assured that they had well and truly left, their assailant emerged, made certain preparations to the area, and took up the vigil himself. 

Within minutes, a thick vapour began to issue from the supposedly-sealed shrine, almost luminescent in the darkness as it slowly coalesced into a humanoid shape. The glow slowly faded as the shape became less nebulous, becoming distinctly feminine in form. As the observer watched from his place of concealment, the shape achieved solidity and the form and features of a beautiful woman in her early twenties became visible, resplendently naked, the deep brown of her eyes somehow lit from within by a hellish glow. 

No human emotion showed in the depth of those eyes, only a hunger that seemed to intensify as the creature gazed about the grounds, her stare finally landing on the watcher. 

The glow in the umber orbs flared, pinning the observer in place temporarily as the creature took a step forward, an animalistic expression contorting the lovely features that in life held such peace. She took another step forward before freezing, a snarl on her lips as she encountered some form of... barrier between herself and the living being she saw as her prey. She backed away, hissing, only to encounter another invisible wall to her left. Flailing out, she found herself boxed in, unable to attack or flee. 

The trap sprung, the observer stood, no longer in thrall to the vampire's mesmerism. With a snarl of recognition, the trapped vampire spat his name like a curse. 

"Tofu..." 

She lunged forward, body contorting as she impacted the barriers set by the prayer-chains that encircled her tomb, unable to pierce the magic that restrained her. 

"Hello, demon." The Watcher said in a low voice, barely restraining the elation he felt. Everything was going according to plan. The creature wearing Tendou Kasumi's form hissed, then straightened. A cunning light lit her eyes as she gathered a glamour about herself, clothing her naked form in a simple dress and apron, not unlike the ones Kasumi had worn daily in life. The creature's expression changed, becoming a mask of peaceful bliss and benevolence. 

"Oh, my! How nice to see you again, Tofu-sensei..." The vampire glanced innocently at the prayer chains. "Oh dear, I seem to be trapped! Would you be so kind as to let me out? I'd be ever so grateful..." She looked hopefully at her captor. 

Tofu forced himself to look away, his mind beginning to fog at the sight of his beloved Kasumi-chan, just as he remembered her. With trembling hands, he reached inside his black gi and pulled out the sheaf of glyph-covered papers he had secreted there. 

"Tofu-sensei? Please let me out... I have to get home and cook dinner for my family..." 

Tofu ignored her, and began reading aloud the spell he had researched. 

With a gasp of searing pain, the vampire collapsed to her hands and knees, her false gentleness instantly fading to be replaced by a demonic rictus, eyes blazing, needle-sharp teeth appearing in her open mouth. 

"W-what are you... DOING t-to me..?" the creature half-gasped, half-snarled as convulsions racked her body. "STOP! I'LL KILL YOU!! I'LL..." 

Tofu continued to read the spell aloud, his voice gaining strength as the creature trapped between the wards writhed in pain, her face shifting between human and vampiric features. 

He finished, his voice steady. On the ground before him, the vampire's eyes widened with shock, as a flash of warm, pure light emitted from within the orbs. With a very human gasp, she collapsed in a faint. 

SUNNYDALE, NOW 

Xander slunk back up the basement stairs of his house, emerging back out into the night with a chuckle. So someone was using the Nanban, eh? Well, wasn't THAT interesting. Meddling with time was always good for a laugh, but who was doing it? He resolved to find out. 

With speed and agility anyone who knew him would have been stunned to see he possessed, Xander sprung off over the rooftops, trailing the source of the magical energies. 

From the opposite direction, Ranma-chan dashed nimbly across the rain-slicked rooftops, the last words he'd heard Kasumi's fetch speak echoing in her mind. 

She cried out Tofu-sensei's name... Is he in danger? Worried, she'd leapt off her perch in the high steel frame that would soon become the clocktower of a reconstructed Sunnydale High School, and sped off towards Tofu's flat. 

As she dashed across the avenue, she looked down to see Akane and Buffy emerge from the Summers home and walk out on to the street. Torn between to twin impulses to stop and hail them or continue on to Tofu-sensei's she halted momentarily, allowing the other girls to spot her. 

"Ranma!!" Akane called, dashing over to her iinazuke's side, Buffy close behind her. "Ranma! Wait!!" The red-headed girl turned to face her, a worried look on her pretty face. 

"Akane... We've gotta get to Tofu-sensei's place. I, er... Got this feelin' he's in real trouble..." 

"Feeling? What do you mean, feeling?!" A troubled look crossed Ranma's features before she answered. 

"I just know it, okay? Can't you just trust me on this one?" 

"O-okay, Ranma..." 

The trio dashed down the wet streets towards the small block of flats where Tofu had been staying, Buffy and Akane managing to keep up with Ranma's grasshopper leaps with some effort. Shortly, they arrived at the Watcher's front door, Buffy and Akane panting as they caught their breath. 

"Whew! Guys, what the heck are we doing? What's going on?" Buffy asked between gasps. 

"We gotta check on Dr. Tofu, Buff. I think he's in trouble." Ranma said, knocking on the door. 

No answer came. She tried again, a little louder. Still no answer. 

"I don't think he's home..." 

"Nope," a familiar voice called out, "He's gone bye-bye..." 

All three girls looked up to see Xander perched on the roof overhang like a half-naked gargoyle, a mischievous look on his face. 

"X-xander?" Buffy goggled. "What are you doing up there? And why aren't you wearing pants?" 

Xander leapt nimbly down from the roof amidst the three girls, a lascivious smile plastered across his mug. 

"Well, it cuts down on the preliminaries, doncha'know. Gimme a hug!!!" He lunged at Buffy, encircling her petite frame in a full-on glomp that caused the startled girl to squeak in surprise, then growl as she realized which parts of her anatomy were being subjected to squeezing. With a snarl of disgust, she punched the boy squarely in the face. His nose took the brunt of the strike and crumpled with a sickening crunch, sending him down to the walk with a groan. 

"You... You... ASSHOLE!!! What the hell are you doing?!" 

Ranma and Akane exchanged glances, then looked at the moaning boy on the ground clutching his broken nose. 

"Did that attack look... Familiar to you, Ranma?" 

"Y-yeah... But there's no WAY..." 

Buffy was still screaming at the prone figure on the ground at her feet, punctuating her stream of invective with well placed kicks to the kidneys and other, more sensitive regions. As it was, lights were coming on across the complex. 

"Uh, Buff? Maybe we'd better do this someplace else..." Ranma said, worriedly. 

"Yeah, Buffy. Here, I have a spare key Dr. Tofu gave me for emergencies..." Akane produced her key ring and fumbled for the right key. Buffy stood silently, glaring poisoned daggers at Xander. The trio let themselves in to the darkened apartment, dragging the half-dressed, moaning boy in behind them. 

They were shocked to discover the apartment in shambles; papers and scrolls strewn about the room like the debris from a windstorm. A quick search of the apartment proved that Tofu was indeed nowhere to be found. Akane rapidly came to a conclusion. 

"He's been kidnapped!" A muffled groan issued from Xander's prone form. 

"Doh, doh... I dib dis..." 

"What?!" Buffy snapped, her tirade interrupted. 

"I ded, I dib dis. I buz..." Xander stood, finding his feet with a little difficulty. "Dab! Jusba boben..." 

The three girls looked perplexed. 

"What did you say?" 

Xander sighed as best he could, and sat down on the couch, brushing aside the scattered papers. A blue glow suffused his body for a moment, and the damage to his nose healed itself before the trio's stunned eyes. 

"There, that's better. Now. I said, I did this. I felt somebody use my mirror, so I came to check it out. He was gone when I got here, so I tossed the joint looking for my Nanban. My guess is that he's using it right now..." 

Akane and Ranma exchanged shocked glances, while Buffy merely looked confused. 

"You tossed the apartment?! YOUR mirror?! What the hell is wrong with you?! You're running around half-naked committing felonies and trying to cop cheap feels off me?!! This isn't like you Xander, I-" Buffy's eyes widened as she took a step backwards. "You're possessed again, aren't you?" She sat down on a chair with a groan. "Oh, no... Xander, I swear. It's like you're a beacon for these things..." 

"It's more than that, Buffy..." Akane said softly. "I *think* that's Happousai..." 

A glint flashed in Xander's eye. 

"Oh, good guess, Akane-chan. But call me, Xander, hmm? Happousai, charming, debonair ladies man that he was, is gone. Oh woe, oh tragedy, such a great loss to the world!!" He sobbed melodramatically for a moment, before brightening. "I know you missed me, but don't fret! I'm back for good, and I'll never leave my two favorite pupils again!!" 

Ranma growled low in her throat. "You get out of his body, you perverted old freak!!" 

Xander leapt to his feet and pulled a face. 

"Nyah-nyah! Make me! I like it here!" 

"Why you..." Akane swung at him, but Xander dodged easily aside and sprung nimbly across the room to the door. 

"Whassamatter with you? Ain'tcha got no respect for an old man?" He looked down at himself, then smiled apologetically. "Oh, right. I'm not an old man anymore, am I? Well..." He looked pensive for a moment, then snapped his fingers and smiled charmingly. "I know! Be nice to me, or I'll have the Harris boy here stroll out in front of a speeding bus! After all, there's plenty of bodies to choose from... Howzzat for incentive, hmm?" 

Ranma lunged across the room, fists flying. 

"Leave him alone, you old bastard! I'll send you back to hell!" 

Xander/Happousai easily evaded the Amaguriken technique and sidestepped. Ranma's momentum carried her forward and through the door with a horrendous crash. Xander chuckled merrily. 

"Oh, such fun, such fun! I really missed you, m'boy!" His eyes turned to Buffy who was standing by the couch, a stunned look on her face. "Now, YOU... Oh, boy, but ol' Xander's been waiting a lo-ong time for you to come across with the goods! You wouldn't beLIEVE what he's been dreaming about doing with YOU, Buffy-baby. It's enough to bring a tear of pride to an old man's eye. Now, give us a smooch, sweetie!" He sproinged forward, arms outstretched for the glomp. Buffy sidestepped the lunge and kicked the possessed boy with all the ki-force she had, sending the lecher straight up through the roof with a crash. As he flew off into the night, still cackling gleefully, Buffy stared furiously after him, her breath coming in angry gasps. 

"This is even worse than that time with the hyena..." 

JAPAN, THE MANOU HOME: 

Sometime later, after the glaziers had left and Ryouga had received a royal chewing out from Madoka, Yohko's Grandmother and Mentor, (who had returned home from her weekly Mah-Jongg game to find her front lawn and living room a shambles), the Lost Boy sat on the back stoop and watched the sun set. 

"Akane... I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you... You must be going through hell." He hung his head. "If only I'd been there, I might have saved your sister... She was always so sweet." 

Ryouga turned slowly as he felt a soft hand on his shoulder. Azusa stood there, a bowl of soup in her outstretched hands. 

"Here you go, Hibiki-san. I made it for you. It's an old family recipe..." She offered him the bowl with a hopeful smile. Ryouga accepted with a polite bow. 

"Itadakimasu, Kanzaki-san." He sipped at the soup. The flavour was salty, but soothing. "This is very good... may I ask what it's called?" 

"It's called 'Heartbreak Soup'. She smiled sympathetically. "I thought you could use some." 

He looked up at her, a sad smile on his face. 

"Arigatou, Kanzaki-san. It's very... soothing." Encouraged, she sat down next to him, delicately arranging the lines of her long skirt. 

"You can call me Azusa... that is, if you want to..." She said, a small blush colouring her nose. 

"Ah... Sure, Kanza- er, Azusa. I-if you want, you can call me Ryouga..." He blushed a little himself, and sipped at his Heartbreak Soup. 

"I'd like that." Azusa replied quietly. They sat in pregnant silence for a while as Ryouga finished his soup. 

"Ryouga?" Azusa said when he put down the empty bowl. 

"H-hai?" 

"You really like Akane-chan, don't you?" Ryouga blushed furiously. 

"Hai..." 

"Do you... That is, do you want to... Try and find her?" 

"Do you think I should?" 

"Well, if you like her so much, you should tell her how you feel... I'm sure she'd appreciate it. She's lost so much, I think she'd like to know that her friends still care about her. My cousin Ranma tries to help, but he's..." 

"A thoughtless, womanizing jerk who doesn't appreciate what he's got? A mean-spirited sex-changing cheater who takes advantage of people?" 

Azusa was a little taken aback at the heat in Ryouga's words. 

"Err... I wouldn't have put it QUITE that way..." 

"Gomen, Azusa... I shouldn't say bad things about him in front of you, if he's your cousin and all... It's just, well, he and I have a history..." 

"I understand, Ryouga. Ranma-kun IS usually a little full of himself. But you wouldn't recognize him now. He was very upset about what happened at Akane-chan's home. He felt responsible for-" 

"Well, he should! If he hadn't been leading on Shampoo, none of this would have happened!! It's all his fault!! He's gotta PAY!!" 

Azusa blinked. "Err, o-kayy... Well, what I was trying to say was that if you want to go to America, I think you should." 

"America? Well..." Ryouga looked pensive for a moment, then shook his head. "Azusa, I think you should know something about me... I'm uh, not very good with directions." He blushed furiously, his voice softening to a whisper. "I can get lost on the home islands for months... America's a pretty big place. How am I gonna find her?" 

"I... I could go with you... As a guide, I mean... And I speak pretty good English... " She blushed. 

"You'd come with me?" Ryouga asked, stunned. "B-but, you hardly know me!" 

"Well... I always wanted to see America... And I'm not in school, so I don't have to worry about that. Besides, I'd like to train under Summers-Sensei too. As an Apprentice Devil Hunter, I will look on it as special training!!" She sat up straight, smiling. "What do you say?" 

Ryouga looked at her, so eager and energetic, her honey-brown eyes sparkling. Despite himself, he smiled. 

"All right... Let's go." 

"Yaay!" Azusa cried, giving Ryouga a quick hug before collecting herself and returning inside. 

"Auntie Madoka! Ojisan Saotome! I'm going on a Training Mission!" 

Ryouga sat, stunned. 

"She... hugged me?" 

BACK ACROSS THE POND: 

Long ago, people used to try walking the streets of Sunnydale at night. They also stopped, for some odd reason. Something about living on top of a demon-attracting anomaly that sat on the rubber sheet of reality like a lead weight, making all similar objects roll down towards it. 

This particular taboo was not currently being observed by a lone male figure, recently arrived to the benighted burg. 

He was wrapped up in a midnight-blue cloak, a hood obscuring his head and his feet made soft tappings as they hit the pavement. 

Then, he turned a corner, under a street light, and, as he turned, one could glimpse a momentary flash of features - cold, hard violet eyes, the light flickered off steel-grey earrings. 

Now, people HAD stopped walking the streets for a reason. 

Just as the man prepared to resume his movements, one of said reasons burst out of a bush, snarling. 

The man regarded the beast with blunt, cold boredom. 

"Hi there, pretty-boy." snarled the vampire. "You up for a quick drink?" 

To this, the young man just chuckled unpleasantly. 

"Oh, y'think that's funny, do you?" the vampire snarled. "Now, ever since the slants arrived they bin showin' us stuff about martial arts... So hold still and this won't hurt for long." 

The vampire lurched forward with a speed that belied his hulking appearance. As he approached, there was a sudden blurring of the air, and the young man was gone. Turning, the vampire looked behind him, only to spot him sitting nonchalantly on a fire hydrant. 

"You don't seriously think I'd waste my energy on you, do you?" The man asked in an oddly moderate voice. Not a deep, gravelly voice nor a high, feminine one- just enough of a distinction to make one pause. "Oh, you'd better..." the vampire stalked forward. "Oh well." Suddenly the vampire had to deal with a foot to his face, a punch to his jaw and three short jabs to his stomach that left him winded, despite not needing air. 

"S'alright..." the vampire panted. "I like ta play with my food, anyway." He lashed out with one hand at the now standing boy, who casually sidestepped and flipped his cloak over the vampire's head. 

"Hey!" he lashed out. "Get back here!!" The vampire's haymaker kick went wild, entangling him in his opponent's cloak. Seizing the opportunity, the man twisted the cloak further around the vampires ankles and swung him around like a ball on a chain. With a painful sound of crunching bone and tearing metal, the vampire was slammed into the fire hydrant. 

Water sprayed everywhere as the hydrant exploded. The vampire, fortunately not a Jusenkyou-cursed one, shook his head and managed to rip the cloak away from his ankles with the use of one good arm, before turning around to find the kid. His head snapped around... 

Then up... 

And up... 

And Up... 

"Uhh..." He said intelligently. 

A huge, furred monstrosity filled his vision. Eight writhing black tentacles squirmed regularly around in arcs, two fists the size and density of sledgehammers clenched angrily. A pair of horns glittered pale in the darkness, moonlight winking off the two iron rings that said, yes, this nine and a half feet of nightmarish malignancy was the same thing that had been under the cloak. 

The creature raised its arms over its head and FLEXED. A huge pair of bat-shaped wings spread out to almost twenty feet. Then, the creature blinked a few times, and its eyes gleamed the faintest red with slitted irises. With an angry, bovine smile, it showed it's teeth. Two predominant oversized fangs glittered in it's maw. 

The rest, sadly, is child abuse. There are some things that not even a vampire can live through. 

Pantyhose Tarou, godson of Happousai, snorted angrily. Now he'd have to find some hot water. Oh well. 

Stalking away from the maimed, beheaded and rapidly necrotizing remains of the vampire, the vast beast chuckled to itself. If that was the sort of thing that he had to face, well, this was going to be easy... 

"I swear... you're gonna pay, duck-boy." he vowed silently, clenching one huge fist. 

Well, that's what he meant. What he said was more like: "Moo, grrr, moo, snort." But the sentiment was there. 

THE PAST: 

Tofu stepped forward and dismantled the prayer chains, his breathing ragged with anticipation. He could barely tear his eyes away from Kasumi's supine form. Had it worked? 

Heedless of his own safety, he knelt down beside her, out of instinct feeling for a pulse before dismissing the idea as ridiculous. Gently, he tried to draw her to her feet, but she remained limp and cold in his arms. 

"Kasumi-chan... Speak to me, please..." 

With a gasp, her eyes flew open, a look of sheer terror in the brown orbs. A racking breath shuddered through her body as her muscles spasmed, knocking Tofu to the ground. Alarmed, he spun, only to see Kasumi stagger to her feet, and looked down at herself. There was a moment of silence as she held up her hands, examining them in the moonlight, her back to the Watcher. Her head bowed and her shoulders trembled as she clutched her arms around her torso, as if to assure herself that she was really and truly here. 

"Kasumi-chan..." Tofu scrambled to his feet and rushed to her side, his voice choking. "Is it really you? Did the spell work? Have you come back to me?" Slowly, she turned to face him, her eyes shrouded by her bangs. Tentatively, he reached out and touched her face, tilting her chin upwards. 

Her eyes were shut tightly, but thin rivulets of tears managed to slip through and trickle down her cheeks. Her lower lip quivered softly as a sob escaped her lips. 

"Why...?" She whispered. "Why did you do this?" Her eyes snapped open, still weeping but displaying the same unnatural glow they had earlier possessed. "WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME??!!!" 

She delivered a vicious backhand to Tofu, sending him sprawling to the gravel. He looked up, shocked. Kasumi NEVER raised a hand in anger, to anyone! 

"Kasumi-chan..." 

"Don't call me that! Who gave you the right to call me that?! Who gave you the right to make me into... Into... Some kind of monster!" 

"I didn't make you a monster, Kasumi-chan... I gave you back your soul..." 

"It wasn't yours to give!" With inhuman swiftness, she lunged at him, grabbing him by the front of his black gi and lifting him off the ground. "Undo it! Kill me! Whatever it takes, do it!" 

"I... I don't understand..." 

"Don't you see? You've trapped me! I don't want to spend eternity as... some kind of parasite, no better than a leech or a flea! Undo it! NOW!" 

"B-but... I gave you back your life! I love you!" 

"My life was over! Done! I was at peace! Y-you... You..." She collapsed, weeping, in his arms. "Kill me. Now. Please... If you love me, Tofu, do it..." 

"I-I..." 

She looked up at him pleadingly. "PLEASE..." 

"I..." He reached into his gi, and pulled out a strip of paper, a Shinto ward. One touch would destroy her, this soon after her rebirth... She nodded, closing her tear-filled eyes. He reached forward, his hand shaking, to place the ward on her forehead. 

His hand stopped, refusing to go any farther. 

"Kasumi... I can't do this..." Her eyes flew open, despairing. 

"Then I will!!" She reached out to grab the ward, but he pulled it away. 

"No, I can't let you do that... Please, Kasumi, forgive me, but... I can't let you die again..." 

"Then you are an even greater monster than what I have become..." She said softly, turning away from him. 

Whirling, her eyes blazing red. Kasumi picked Tofu up by his throat. It seemed his assessment of her strength, comparative to his, had been somewhat flawed. While she may not yet have the endurance of a true vampire, she sure had the strength of one. 

"WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME DIE?" she lamented in his ear, her misery a piercing cry that tore at his heart. 

"Kasumi-chan - please!" he gagged. "You're- you're hurting me!" Kasumi released him and dropped to the ground, tears flowing freely. "Why-" "Kasumi... We, we need you. I need you. I couldn't bear to think of you, cold and dead in the ground, when I could do something, ANYthing, to prevent it..." 

Tofu reached out with one arm, to comfort her, only to have her grasp his wrist and fling in a perfect judo throw over her head. He bounced off a tombstone, a solid crunch warning him that his shoulder had been badly dislocated. 

"Leave me alone!" 

"Kasumi-chan, we have to go back!" 

"Leave me!" 

Tofu tried to prop himself up to call after her running form, but he collapsed, the pain shooting through his shoulder bringing fresh tears to his eyes. 

By the time his vision cleared, it was too late. Kasumi was gone. "Oh, well _done_, Ono..." A grave-cold voice said from behind him Tofu looked up over his shoulder, only to encounter the briefest flash of a face... 

And a fist to his jaw. 

********************************** 

END EPISODE FOUR: TO BE CONTINUED! 

********************************** By Dave Menard and Rick Hall, with plot assist by Matty Higgins. First draft Jan. 2000, final draft Feb 14, 2000 

THANKS GO OUT TO: The ATVS Prereaders Squad, Nicole Manders, Wade Trischler, Blade, Allyn Yonge and all the C+C mavens on the FFML. 

NEXT TIME: Pantyhose versus Xander, a possible cure for Ranma and a new magic shop opens in Sunnydale. All this and Spike too, next time on Akane The Vampire Slayer! 

C+C REQUESTED, NAY, DEMANDED!!!!!!! Reach Dave at catthouse@lweb.net, Rick at talen@optusnet.com.au, or the whole Leaping Gnome Team at leapinggnome@hotmail.com. For previous chapters of ATVS, visit Akane The Vampire Slayer's Homepage at: http//:matrix.crosswinds.com/~ksna or hit the RAAC archives under ranma.x-over.akane-the-vampire-slayer, or look us up at www.fanfiction.net under Anime or Buffy The Vampire Slayer! 


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